I recently had a baby and i have a four year old son..how do you mom's with two or more children do it?

Question

we just had a baby and our four year old has been use to all of our attention. I was just wondering how parents with two or more children juggle teaching their children what they need to know (at different ages), their attitude changes, work, housework, family and finances?
My four year old is going into head start and needs to know how to write his name and recognize and sounds letters out.. nothing dramatic for a four year old but finding time to do this and take care of the baby and the rest of this stuff.. is getting frustrating .. if someone could help me with getting organized or just some advice i would appreciate it!!!

Answer 1

Personally, I would say let the small stuff slide. I know mom's that spend all day picking up after the kids and end up with no time for the kids. Establish a routine. When the baby is napping is a great time to spend with the older child. Just don't push him with the learning, find ways to make it fun. You can try getting the alphabits cereal or ABC pasta for lunch. Then help him find the letters to his name (in order) in his food. Also, Headstart should be helping him learn this stuff, not expecting him to already know it. Nap time for the oldest (if he still takes one) is a great time for doing the "must do" housework like laundry and dishes. Most four year olds love watching shows like Sesame Street, so I would suggest investing in some videos for times when you are tending to the baby (if he shows no interest in helping with that) I have established two clean-up periods in my house. One between lunch and nap time and the other between dinner and bed time. Remember there is a big difference between a dirty house and lived-in house. Finances can usually be squeezed in at any time,(shouldn't take more than a few minutes) but I usually take care of that in the evening. Since you said you just had the baby, make sure you are getting enough rest yourself. You can take a nap with the older one. Or you can lay on the couch or floor with him and teach him counting songs or the alphabet song. My kids love to sing and especially songs that have hand movements with them. You can always add movements of your own too to make them special or even alter the words to some. One of my kids' favorite is the BINGO song. Instead of there was a farmer had a dog, I sing there was a mommy had a boy/girl and _______ was his/her name. If they have a long name, you can shorten it to a nickname or figure out another way to make it work.

Answer 2

Everything about life changes when you have kids and basically "your" life gets put on the back burner for quite some time.

It will take you time to come up with a routine with regards to your children's different schedules. Until then, try and spend as much time with your 4 y/o while the baby is sleeping. Learning to spell his name and the alphabet are not that big of a task and you DO have the time for it. A minute here and a minute there do help. Wal-Mart has great plastic placemats with all types of learning things on them, like the alphabet, shapes, numbers, etc. Go pick up a few and practice (IE) the alphabet when he is "eating his cereal, etc. This is how my three year old learned the alphabet. While you are driving with you kids in the car, spell out your son's name and have him repeat it back to you. After a couple of drives to the store you will be amazed how quickly he will learn it! Driving time is a great time for learning....... my 3 y/o learned how to spell his name and our home phone number while in the car! There is lots of opportunity to teach our kids.............. you just have to take the time to do it!!

Good luck. It DOES get alot easier! I know. I have an 8 y/o, a 3 y/o and a 1 y/o! Three different schedules but it works.

mb

Answer 3

There is no special trick to doing it, I have 5 and we manage. Organization went out the window though, so did schedules but we replaced it with patience and fun so we're doing alright!

Housework gets done when it gets done, finances are always tight but it doesn't take money to raise a child, family always comes first and it's just a matter of finding some balance in your day.

As for the head start, time is tricky and you can't really schedule around a new baby but your 4 year old will love the fact that you do take some time out of your day to focus your attention just on him (baby can't learn the things he is so that's a great thing for him) Fit it in when you can, there's no magic solution. Just do your best.

Answer 4

My dear, suicide is a temptation when a child is gone because the mother wants to be with her baby and the grief is too great unless someone intervenes and gets the mother on a path to live a productive life...that takes some doing...if the folks would just go through the process they will come out on the other side but suicide is not the answer...I am so sorry for your two losses but you need to stop punishing yourself...if you are truly born again, God will bring you through ( he had to give up his son and he knows the pain) and you will all be together forever in a far better place and you can help somebody else down the road. I know that is not enough right now, but you have got to be strong and take one day at a time.

Answer 5

We have four children ages 12, 9, 7 and 21 months. There is no easy answer to your question, but basically you have to prioritize. What is the urgent problem at the moment? A lot of stuff in our family is just figuring out what is the most important thing right now. It kind of teaches you to live in the moment. Make a to-do list and if you are really an organized person you can make a code and prioritize that way, for instance putting "A" in front of the tasks that are really important, "B" next most important, etc. I am not that organized. I make a list and put stars around stuff that is really urgent. Also, if you don't get to everything on your list, don't worry! Also, I like post-it notes and sometimes leave notes for myself, for instance on the door so I see it before I leave to remind me of stuff I need for whatever it is I'm going to do (for instance if I'm going shopping, reminding me to take my list, checkbook, etc.) Good Luck! You can do it! :)

Answer 6

Organizing for Moms...
Well, one thing I can say is keep it simple and write it down. What are your highest priorities? "me" time, family, finances etc..write down a specific goal for each for the rest of the year, type up the list and put it somewhere you'll see it frequently. From there, (as hard as it may be) set aside some time (could be just a few minutes) every week or so to and assign yourself ONE thing to do toward each goal (e.g. call credit cards re: lowering interest rates etc.). It won't be perfect but will help you stay conscious of what's important to you. Hope this helps...I also blog and frequently drop a few tips and hints on staying organized, calm and clear at www.clearingground.blogspot.com. If there's a tip you have that works wonders I'd love to hear it!
Ronnie

Answer 7

I have three children. One of them is develpmentally delayed and in special ed. I have no quick fix for you honestly. It takes alot of patience (that I don't have sometimes) and alot of prayer just to make it through some days.
Why does your four year old need to know this to go into head start? Wont they teach him? I remember when mine were small, even from about 1 month old and on I would get them used to being in a bouncer or porta crib with some toys or a mobile to look at while I got some stuff that I needed to do done. You just have to make the time. You don't need to hold the baby all the time, put him//her down sometimes, get them used to that.
Don't get all crazy about the house and stuff, do most of that when your husband is home to help out. Do what you can and don't stress out about so much...don't put too much on your schedule for one day, that will just add to the stress. The world tells us we need to be busy every single moment of our day as mothers and that's a LOAD of crap if you ask me. If you look around you will see just how much that works, look at how many stressed out mothers there are running around their stressed out kids. Relax a little and enjoy this time...and do what you can when you can do it.

Answer 8

I have six and my 5 year old is a special needs child he requires a lot of direction with school studies and other stuff. I feel for you. the best way I have found to make everything happen that has to happen in a day. Is to schedule everything right down to who you wake up first in the morning.I watch the clock all day after the kids get used to their routine it is heaven. Also since part of your problem is an only is now the oldest try and make him feel like he is. Teach him how to wash bottles with you, make him feel like a big boy. as far as the things he needs to learn for school I always make it a game when you are folding socks have him help you count them, what color is daddys shirt things like that when you feed the baby sit with him and have him write with a pencil so he gets used to holding one then when hubby gets home you can work on letters of his name. But spell his name in like a cheer when he does something "big boys" do. Good luck hun!!1

Answer 9

You said you just had the baby right? I was right there in your shoes exactly 1 year ago. I didn't know how I was going to do it...and honestly somedays I wish I only had one kid because it was easier.
My son was starting kindergarten which meant homework and new baby...all I can say is you will just find your groove. It won't happen overnight and it will get better when the baby is not so 'new'. It will I promise...I also promise somedays you will want to run and hide and other days you will wonder how two little kids can hold your heart so tight!!

Answer 10

At 4 years old you want your son to know all this,,what happened to being kids first,,and yourself,,you have a new baby,,the stress you are putting on yourself and on your son is very unreasonable,,give the kid and yourself a break,,time will work everything out your son needs to learn about the new baby first and all the new changes that this will bring,,don't push.,,best of luck and good health to you and yours