I have a very controlling step mother. How do i tell her that i don't need her butting into everything?

Question

She has to have control of everything. Would you tell her off or live with the situation?

Answer 1

If your step mother is as controlling as you say, then she is one of the most annoying, but easy personalities to deal with.
People with control issues need to feel like they are dictating the things around them. Sadly, they are also some of the most sad and hurt people, becuase we all know that as individuals, we cannot control very much in life!! Your step mother knows this too, but may lie to herself as she runs around trying to make things happen her way.
Try to feel compassion for her....she's probably in pain deep down, and may not even know that's she's acting like a control-freak.
As for you-- just be smart!! Let her think that she has control over things!! DON'T LIE.....because that's not being true to yourself, but let her have her way on little things...
When she gives you advice, smile, and say something like "yeah, I never thought about it that way..." (and keep it to yourself that you never thought about it that way because you think it's crazy!!)
Let her feel important, and save her dignity.
This way she feels less defensive, more realxed,a nd hopefully she lightens up on you.
Try this for awhile-- longer than a couple of weeks, and see what happens. I have a feeling that it will solve your problem.
BUt if it doesn't, then it's time to talk....NICELY about how you feel.
A good friend told me "Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don;t be mean when you say it."
good luck hun, and remember, none of us is really in control....

Answer 2

she sounds concerned for u , but if u r over 18 then she has no control ova u, just have a nice word in her ear saying that u respect her wishes but ur a grown up now and its time to stand on ur own two feet. if u r under 18 then try talking to her , tell her how u feel and ask for a Little space . i am a stepp farther ov a 17y old and we get on but i no my place in a years time she could tell me to go jump if i butted in her life, and i would. but plez dont get me wrong i still try to get her to do the dishes, and tidy her room and she still complains . hope this helps x

Answer 3

well, first it depends on how old you are but i definantley WOULD NOT tell her off. just explain to her as your "mom" you love her and value her input but only when and if you ask. if you tell her she's not needed you might very well hurt her feelings and thats something YOU DONT want. you want her as a parent/friend NOT an enemy . good luck

Answer 4

You don't. Just smile politely and do it your way. You don't want family get-togethers to be strained or uncomfortable do you? She'll be your mother in law for as long as your married to her son.