2006-06-20 23:12:25 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Firstly make it clear that you feel you are being taken for granted. Explain calmly and clearly. Ensure that you are able to cite specific examples of when he took you for granted. Don't get into an argument, if it starts to become heated, disengage and walk away. Similarly if he starts to go soppy on you or patronise you. Make it clear that this is a serious conversation between two friends and you need to get your point across.
If this doesn't work, then do something unexpected. When he asks you if you can come out tonight, say 'no, I'm going to my art class/creative writing class/language or music class', take up a new hobby or interest and you will have more to talk about with him. Dress yourself the way you always wanted to in retro, goth or trendy clothes whatever suits you and damn what he thinks! Go on girly nights out with our friends more often. If you live together and he doesn't do his share of the housework then leave it for him, let his pots crust up and his clothes lie in the washing machine if he can't be bothered to take them out.
Basically don't put up with any rubbish from him and he will soon learn that you are his equal. He can take that or leave it. At least you will be your own person.
2006-06-20 23:23:50 · answer #1 · answered by Fluorescent 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been through this one too and I tried to go out and do things with my friends and alone as well. I found that once I started showing him I had a mind to think with that I could make my own decisions etc. and he finally got mad and starting asking questions. When we finally did talk he had realized that he didn't even notice he was doing it. Try to set boundries like we did Tell him the things that he is doing makes you feel bad.Set some consequences( if you don't start listening to me I will not tell you things and deal with them on my own) and stick to it. If you set a consequence you cannot back down from it or it will not work. You cannot change a persons behavior you can only change your own. All I am saying that take a look at the things you want in life and put it in context with the relationship. It isn't easy but life is a long road out there to be going through that. I am sure you are a wonderful person with a lot to offer that right someone. Take advantage of that, if you keep going in time it will affect your self confidence and your self esteem.Take it from me after 8 years of it and more..... I finally caught on that that was what I didn't want. If you are unhappy now and you see no changes then follow your heart. It isn't easy we are a feeling people and we have all been through this at one point in time and it doesn't get better unless YOU realize you are allowing him to treat you that way
2006-06-20 23:31:04 · answer #2 · answered by kabbit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him honestly how you feel. Assert yourself. If you just let it pass and allow him, this would go on and on and would even reach the level of abuse.
When you tell him so, be loving and yet assertive, punch the right timing when he is asking a favor from you or when circumstances favor you.
If after honestly revealing what you feel about being taken for granted and he still continues to treat you the same way, threaten him with a break up... This may hurt you but it's pain is transient compared to a lifetime of suffering trying to endure his macho attitude.
2006-06-20 23:29:42 · answer #3 · answered by alecks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone says we shouldn't expect anything in return if we love others. I say thats 10% true and 90% Bullshit. It IS NICE to feel at least something back in return.
Anwyay on topic, well you could try talking to him directly. And if you believe he takes you for granted well try to move on.
IOm a guy, and im having th exact opossite situation, i think my girlfriend is taking me for granted. But what the hell, im so crazy about her im willing to wait and wait and ya you get the point. I think im making a mistake though, but oh well *shrugs
2006-06-20 23:20:37 · answer #4 · answered by izt_is 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him, I think I took my girlfriend for granted and she cheated on me.
I guess I thought she would be there no matter what.
2006-06-20 23:17:37 · answer #5 · answered by alysonhell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him how you feel,, sometimes guys are soooo insensitive but they are not fortune tellers,, they will never know how you feel if you don't tell them.. but if after this talk he still neglects how wonderful you are.. make him miss you or better yet dump him.. his not the only guy in the world, there are thousands. don't worry that no other guy will love you back.. if he can't appreciate you then find someone who can. good luck.
2006-06-21 00:08:45 · answer #6 · answered by nadine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
acc. to me u shud 1st tell him that u feel like this and after telling him this he does the same then u shud follow my shadow system which is:- if u go behind the shadow the shadow will always run away from u and if u turn ur direction and start going aways from shadow it will automatically come running behind u.
Did u understand wht i m trying to say?
2006-06-20 23:30:01 · answer #7 · answered by Khushi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont deal with him. if he doesnt appreciate what you do then hes not worth it. but if you really want to make it work, you have to talk to him about it. tell him how it makes you feel. or just stop being so great. make him suffer.
2006-06-20 23:17:29 · answer #8 · answered by crank 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just talk about it with him and do it in a mature respectfull way.if he still takes you for granted then he isnt worth your love.
2006-06-20 23:34:18 · answer #9 · answered by lashes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You talk to him in a manner which he will not think that you are mad... I know he will understand
2006-06-20 23:22:47 · answer #10 · answered by hideki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋