Problems with pre-nups?

Question

Hello, im a forty two year old man and have lived on my own all my adult life. I've always been a loner and often bullied, especially by the woman next door. However a few months back my life took the most dramatic turn for the better. Not only did i win £3.8 million on the lottery but the woman who i thought hated me confessed she secretly was in love with me and always had been. She explained she only bullied me as she loved me but didnt think i would be with her. Suddenly i have loads of money and a model like girlfriend, i feel like the luckiest man in the world.
We are now getting married and i mentioned a prenup and she flipped and said what was the point in getting married if i dont trust her. I feel so bad about being so insensitive to her. I need to make this up to her. I was contemplating transferring all the money into her name to show just how much i love and trust her. Has anyone had problems with suggesting prenups and how did you deal with it?

Answer 1

I have that problem every time I win millions.
Seriously, what does she love, you or your money? This is a good test for her. Have her sign the pre-nup or leave. If she loves you, then she will sign it. If she just wanted the money then she will go. If you really want to give her the money then put her in your will. Good luck.

Answer 2

Well first of all congrats and all that but I bet you heard it all before. It's good to see someone who has not had an easy life win the thing. Ok so the problem in hand. The woman is beautiful but you don't mention if you love her. Yes people can and do bully people they have feelings for but something about this woman does not seem right. You don't say how long she bullied you for but the fact that she immediately showed her (alleged) feelings for you only when you had a fortuitious break strikes me as more than coincidental. But what the hell right? You get to do a beautiful woman! That would be perfect for you if she didn't want more. My advice (and I am not basing this on past experience because I have never played the lottery, just giving you an unbiassed view) would be to hold off the wedding. Pre-nups in general go against my beliefs because for me when you marry, you marry for life. But this is a possible fly-by-night we are talking about. If you marry her now (wether you love her or not) would be a mistake. The way to turn this around in your favour is when she says "What's the point of getting married if you don't trust me" respond with "If you love me then this prenup will never be needed because we wont divorce".

Truly best of luck (but you already had that lol)

Answer 3

Congrats on winning!!!

The only thing I would ask about is, did she confess her love before or after you won?? Just be extremely careful of it was after. Some people are just out to get what they can. I'm not saying she is, but if you've got all this money - You need to be very wary of who's real and who's acting. If you honestly believe her, then you don't need to transfer the money into her name just tell her you'll leave the pre nup. If your not sure. Put it ALL in trust for someone else(child family member etc) that way if you do get divorced or you die, she can't rip you off.

If it were me I'd speak to my solicitor and Financial adviser. If you don't have them, get them, you'll need it anyway to manage the money.

Good luck and be safe. There's a lot of Fake Friends out there.

P.S. I'd sign a pre nup if I was truly in love. It wouldn't matter to me about the money.

Answer 4

so she suddenly confessed to liking you after finding out you won right?
Prenup all the way - she may be after your money
If she truly does love you then money should be no object and she wouldn't mind you protecting your assets and would gladly agree to a prenup - just because you mentioned a prenup doesn't mean you don't trust her its just that you are being weary as to her timing as to when she decided to tell you she likes you - rethink your situation, talk to her and maybe if you are looking in the right place you will see her true intentions

Good luck

Answer 5

Did she know that you won the lottery before she confessed her love to you? If she did, then I believe she is in it for the money and you shouldn't even marry her, if you do a prenup is the best way to go

Answer 6

Normally, I'm not a fan of a prenup, however, seeings how she conveniently confessed after you became a milionairre, I think it's a good idea. If she's not willing to sign one, you probably shouldn't be marrying her. Don't transfer the money into her name or you will regret it..guaranteed.

Answer 7

Transferring all of the money sounds like a stupid mistake to me. My sugguestion is to have a will drawn up that puts everything into a trust when you pass. I would have someone you trust (not the new wife) made Executor and Trustee. This will would only need to leave your wife the home and anything aquired during the marriage. Everything you had before the marriage could be left to your children or charity. You could also have two seperate Statutory Durable Powers of Attorney drawn up. One that leaves your seperate property (things before marriage $$) to be distributed and taken care of by someone you trust, and the community property to be distributed by your wife. In the event that the marriage works out and you choose to leave everything to her in a few years, the will can be changed.

Answer 8

How about you give me all the money and see if she sticks around then, chances are she'll want to marry me, only thing is I'm female. I find it odd she was always horrible to you before, please be careful. If you are in love with someone you don't bully them, not until you get married anyway!

P.s I'll marry you and sign a prenup :)
I cant see why she wouldn't, if she's your wife she'll have everything she wants anyway.

Answer 9

I am very saddened at the divorce rate! It seems that the secular notion, "I'm in it for ME. Meet MY needs!" has seeped into the church. When "MY needs" aren't met, then I have the liberty to leave. If people treated their finances and their business the way they treated their marriages, they would go bankrupt in no time at all! It seems that the word "Commitment" is now treated as a 4-letter word, and "vow" means nothing. "Promise" is another word whose meaning has changed! "Contract", "Covenant", "Agreement" have all lost their meaning in a self-centered, "me-first", instant gratification, "Have it YOUR way" society! Christians need to rise above this to a higher level of morality! If people started honoring the promises they made during their wedding vows, "Through richer or poorer, through sickness and health, for better or worse", then "pre-nups" wouldn't be necessary. But because people lie through their teeth, make promises and pledges they never intend to keep, because they're only in it for themselves, and because they could care less about the other person except for how they make ME feel, and they want to get as much out of it as possible without putting any into it, then the "pre-nup" is the only logical result! My daughter is getting married a week from Saturday, and if they EVER go to a divorce court, I will go in there with their wedding vows in hand, and demand that they explain why they refuse to honor their promises! (I am convinced that both she and my future son-in-law are more mature than that, from simple observation.) But other than that, people are just babies who never grew up. They both want their diapers changed (so to speak), and neither wants to give an inch! Results? DIVORCE with a capital "D"! (Sorry, I'm kind of going on and on because this really weighs heavy on my heart.)

Answer 10

I might no have alot of money but if i was in that situation i would not be offended if my future husband wanted to sing a pre-nup. because it's a way of protecting everyone. as long as it's fair. then i would sign it.
if your future wife really loves she would not make a big deal. i don't want to sound mean but it seems that the only reason this girl it;s getting marry with you it's because of you money. Don't even think about putting ALL YOUR MONEY in her name. her attitude just prove to you that she is only interested in your money. I suggest you really thing this through this girl does not reserve you good luck