what will improve a fathers chance of custody?

Question

what will improve a fathers chance of custody? Presently, father works, mother stays at home looking after child. For instance, is it best for the father to continue to live in the family home, or to move out? what is the court looking for in order to improve the chance of him getting custody? if the mother is on medication for depression, would this have a significant effect on the outcome?

Answer 1

most people confuse custody with visitation or residential parent. custody determines who is responsible for the child ie what education the child will receive, who the family doctor is, if the child colours their hair, and types of sports the child will be in.

there are 2 types of custody

1) sole - one parent is the decision maker. this type of custody is generally awarded in cases where one parent is so irresponsible that s/he is not capable of caring properly for a child, and in cases where the parents cannot communicate - such as cases where one parent has been abusive to the other.

2) shared/joint custody - both parents jointly make decisions regarding the child's care. this type of custody is generally decided out of court when the parties can get along reasonably well. most cases which end up in court end up with one parent getting sole custody.

visitation determines how often the parent who does not live with the child gets to see the child.

generally the courts will try to keep things as constant as possible for the children. that is to say that if mom is the primary care giver now, they will try to maintain that as long as it is in the best interests of the child.

do not try to make mom look bad, try to make yourself look better.

Answer 2

Basically, there's very little change of a father taking custody. Less than 10% of cases, even when the father is the primary care giver and the mother goes out and works, do they give custody to the father. You have to be able to demonstrate that the woman is an unfit mother. Anti-depression medication will have some influence, but you pretty much have to show she is unequipped to look after the kids, has a violent streak that puts the kids in danger or something similar.

I'd recommend trying to reconcile, and if that fails, doing your best to keep some of the positive aspoects of the relationship intact, because that's the best chance you have of playing a significant part in your kids life.

Answer 3

you don't say if you are married or not. if not you don't have parental responsibility in the first place although you can apply for this in court. Making sure you move to a (very) local area so your child wouldn't have to change schools ect can count towards you but unfortunatly favour usually goes to mother even when dad is the stable influence in the child's life. There isn't much hope of gaining custody whilst the mother is willing to improve herself and shows love for her children. A court will usually only take a child's views into account once over the age of 11 yrs.
In our case my husband's ex was told by the judge " if your child was a dog you would be sentenced for neglect and abuse, however as he is your child I am forced to give you the chance.."
Be warned you are unlikley to get custody so think carefully before you go ahead with anything.
The best you should hope for is shared custody or a favourable agreement that suits you both. If you feel that things have a chance of improving I'd suggest you stay, going to marrage counciling (even if you're not married) may be a step to take. Most seperations will involve some form of mediation and having someone who knows the before's not just the after's may be usefull.

Answer 4

The courts will consider what is best for the children, not either parent and most of the time shared custody is best for children.

I would say that for a parent to show that they put the needs of their children before their own would put that parent in the best light.

If the mother is being medicated for depression, it won't impact any decision. Depression is like any other medical condition that needs treatment. It can also be a pandora's box to opent in court as the father's behaviour may be the cause of the mother's depression.

Answer 5

DON"T MOVE OUT... Go to mediation if it is offered in your state. To get full custody is hard so get 50/50 physical and legal custody locked in for sure. I don't think the medication thing will help if that was a problem why did you leave the kids at home with her?? Keep your powder dry Don't go into court trying to blow her out of the water folks will not look on that kindly. Throw her a few bones let her have "stuff" and get the kids as much as you can.

Answer 6

In our state, a father has to prove that mother completely incompetent to get custody. The child must be in harms way verbally, emotionally, or physically. Unless she is suicidal all the time, I don't think that being on anti depressants will get you custody. Being a stay at home mom is a plus for that mother. She cares for that child 24 hours.

What you need to be doing is seeing what is best for your child, NOT what is best for you. I would prepare myself for every other weekend or at best, joint custody. Or, how about, you work it out with Mom so your child gets to enjoy TWO parents.

Answer 7

Why would you want custody? A young child is always better off with it's mum. Apply for joint custody, or, if you don't have parental responsibility, sort it out between yourselves. I'm sure she would appreciate a few hours to herself. Have you taken into consideration the implications of caring for a child full time? School runs, sickness, holidays etc. There's only so much time your employer will allow time off for. Having depression is not a disability, or a crime. it may also be post natal depression, which doesn't always manifest itself straight away, and may be diagnosed months later. If you & your partner have decide to call it a day, it's better to make the cut now & establish regular visiting with the child, this then becomes a way of life & they will be more settled & happier. So will you!!! Don't try for custody as it will only cause resentment.

Answer 8

A child needs both parents but most importantly the mother for most emotional factors , so think properly how it might affect the child. If the mum treats the child well without any danger , just build a good relationship together to help the child.
Since you are working you would need to get a carer but I think the mum being home is a good enough reason that she is free to care for the child instead of a stranger. Think about it.
Stay blessed.

Answer 9

I take it you are all going on past experiences, because you are all wrong. Custody always goes to the primary care giver. it is just a very few men are the primary caregiver. For example a friend of mine stays at home and looks after the children his wife works as a solicitor. they got divorced and he had custody of the children because he brought them up from babies.

The best thing you can do is take a dvice from citizens advice and a solicitor. You need a stable place to live and income.

Answer 10

What ever you do don't leave the family home or your children. once you do you will lose the respect of the courts because real fathers don't leave their families. Stay and help the mother of your children get well. One of the best things you can do for your children is to love their mother.