What can I do to overcome feelings of guilt?

Question

I did some not so great things in the past and I find myself constantly thinking about them and feeling so guilty. This is really eating away at me. What can I do?

Answer 1

Tell the people that you may have hurt that you are truly sorry, make restitution if you can, ask the Lord for forgiveness. If that doesn't work talk to your preacher/minister about it.

Answer 2

Anna, I wish I could make those lame feelings go away. Instead, let me share some insight with you . . .

We all suffer from guilt, but some people can overcome or at least deal with it so effectively that it does not cause a problem. I had to learn how to do this, as I have done a lot of things I am not proud of in the past. . .

Here are a couple techniques for guilt:
1-Examine your feelings: I mean seriously, SERIOUSLY question why you are feeling a certain way. ALMOST ALL GUILT is created by our own minds and has no existence in reality. The worst thing you can do with negative feelings is try to suppress them or escape from them - you are likely doing this because your feelings are "eating away" at you - they are stuck inside you, perhaps because you are not facing them.
The more you look at your negative feelings and realize they CAN'T really do anything to you, the less powerful they become.

2- I don't know what you did, but I'll assume it involved hurting someone else perhaps? If so, apologize - simple, boneheaded right? But it works - it gives the mind a sort of release from the guilt. If you can't find the person, give yourself forgiveness - everyone makes mistakes. What is your guilt doing for you but holding you back?

I'll recommend a couple books for you as well:
1- The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
and
2-Mastering Your Hidden Self by Serge King.

If you buy them, they may be the best $20 you ever spend.

Good Luck

Answer 3

Do like that guy on the TV show, try to make it up to people. He made a list and is crossing it off. If that isn't possible, help someone new. Just do something nice, doesn't have to cost money. If you have some spare change, give to a local charity, like a food bank. Consider religion, join a church, or learn to pray.
Stop obsessing, and be a better person, now. Get some education, do better in school, learn a new skill. Do something to make you proud of yourself. Do a better job at work, make your co-workers and boss take notice.
I don't know what you did, but would it help to come clean about it? Think long and hard about it before you confess anything to anyone, though. It could make things worse for the other person, as well as yourself.
Get some counseling, join a support groupAnd resolve never to do those not so great things from the past again.
Good luck.

Answer 4

..I think the most important thing about feeling guilty is to not do or say those things we know will put us in this state..Guilt tells us we have to take responsibility for our behaviour or our words. When this is done, the guilt will go away...The one reason that often people will continue to feel guilty for, is they make amends to everyone else, but forget to add their self to the list, and so the guilt remains with them..Learning to forgive ones self is also very important to remain mentally healthy....In short you were caught doing something you should not have been. Be mature, don't make excuses because this just makes the guilt worse for your self and keeps you in denial. Take your responsibility and make your amends. The consequences from your action is yours alone...When it is all over, make sure you also forgive your self.... We all makes mistakes, not all of us learn from them...Take care, soon this will all be just a memory and a lesson learned...

Answer 5

Learn to forgive yourself. Just remind yourself that mistakes are a part of learning and maturity. Regret and remorse doesn't serve any purpose except the feeling of inadequacy.

I've done things that weren't that great either, but holding on to the past prevents you from moving ahead in the future. Be compassionate with yourself.

Answer 6

Well guilt is the souls way of saying "that was not what we are about" Time.... And giving back. Go to a quiet place and reflect upon the events that led up to the deed and the events after. Can it be avoided from now on. talk to friends and be honest about what happened. Trust me. We all **** it up sometimes. In big ways too. Life will go on.

Answer 7

Make a detailed confession before a friend,a priest or a therapist.If not write a detailed letter to someone ask the receipient t tear it.Your close friend may delete the email in which you make the confession.If it is so private write a letter to someone not giving your name and address ,or by giving a wrong name and wrong address.Or as a last resort write in detail a letter,e mail to yourself.You will feel much better even while writing the letter.

Answer 8

Suggested steps to overcome guilt

Step 1: You can recognize the role guilt is playing in your life by choosing a current problem and answering the following questions in your journal:

a . What problem is currently troubling me?

b . Who is responsible for the problem?

c . Whose problem is it, really?

d . What did I do to make this problem worse for myself?

e . How much guilt do I feel about this problem?

f . How much does the guilt I experience exaggerate or exacerbate my problem?

g . If I felt no more guilt what would my problem look like then?

If the answer to question ``g'' is that your problem can be solved by reducing guilt, go to Step 2.

Step 2: Redefine your problem with the absence of guilt as an issue.

In answering the questions in Step 1 you recognized that guilt was preventing resolution of the problem. To redefining your problem, answer the following questions in your journal:

1.

How insurmountable is the problem?
2.

Is this problem an interpersonal or intrapersonal problem?
3.

If it is interpersonal: Can I help the other person and myself to set aside guilt and resolve this problem?
4.

If it is intrapersonal: Can I set aside guilt or the fear of it and resolve this problem?
5.

Does this problem have more than one solution? Can others and myself experience satisfaction, comfort, and resolution with a minimum of debilitating guilt?
6.

Whose problem is it, really?
7.

Is it my problem or another(s)?
8.

Am I taking on another's responsibility?
9.

Am I trying to keep another from experiencing pain, hardship, or discomfort?

Step 3: If the problem is really someone else's, give the problem back to the person(s) to solve and to deal with.

If the problem is yours, go to Step 4.

Step 4: You must confront the real or imagined guilt or fear of guilt preventing you from either handing the problem back to the person(s) whose problem it really is (Step 3) or from handling the problem on your own. Consider the following:

a . What fears are blocking me at this moment from taking the steps I need to resolve this problem?

b . What are the irrational beliefs behind these fears?

c . Refute the irrational beliefs using the steps given in the ``Handling Irrational Beliefs'' section two in Tools for Personal Growth.

d . Initiate a program of self-affirmation as presented in the "Self-Affirmations'' section 3 in Tools for Personal Growth..

e . Use an imagery scenario with ``guilt'' as an object you packaged in a nice box. It is brought to a mountain top and thrown off a cliff for good.

f . Affirm for yourself that:

*

You deserve to solve this problem.
*

You deserve to be good to yourself
*

You deserve to have others be good to you, too!

Step 5: If your guilt is not resolved after completing Steps 3 and/or 4, return to Step 1 and begin again.

Answer 9

Talk to a prefessional about it, or a close friend that you can trust. Writing your feeings down help too. Realize that you are only human, and people do make mistakes! Learn from it and move on. How bad can it be anyhow? Cheating? Stealing? Maybe you'll be a better person because you now have insight.

Answer 10

Forgive yourself! Very hard to do but once you do it you feel like the weight of the world has been lifted of your shoulders. Know that what you did then makes you who you are today. You cant fix it or redo the past. Past is just that PAST. Today is the present and you are the gift. Let it go. Keep life simple.

Answer 11

It isn't healthy to dwell on the past. Everbody makes mistakes and have to live with those mistakes. Forgive yourself, and let those mistakes serve you as a life lesson. You have a strong conscience so i'm quite sure you stay away from doing wrong as a rule. Give yourself a break... mistakes are what makes us human.