How do you teach a 16 month old baby to sleep through the night?

Question

I'm still breastfeeding my baby and she wakes up several times during the night asking for milk. She sleeps with me. So when she wakes up for milk, she'll pull me up to a sitting position and climb onto my lap. If I refuse to feed her, she'll cry her heart out, and I can't bear to see that. I think it's not the milk that she wants, but I don't know exactly what it is. It could be that she feels the need to pee, but doesn't know how to say it. She's half potty-trained (knows how to tell me after she pees. No problems with pooping anymore. She'll tell me before she does it). Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Kids don't necessarily sleep through the night EVER. My daughter is 3 and she still wakes me up at night, but it's usually if she's scared or wants to go to the toilet.

She certainly isn't waking you up to go to the toilet. Although people say you can toilet train a child from 12 months, they don't have the muscle strength to hold the 'wees' inside until they make it to the toilet, which is why she tells you after the event, not before it. "Poos' is much easier to train at a young age, because they have to physically push it out. When she's between 2 & 3 years old, I'm sure she'll be trained within a week. She sounds like she certainly has the right idea. Don't even worry about the toilet training yet, don't worry about it until after she's two. Just put a nappy on her and forget about it for now. Work on one problem at a time, and at the moment you need a full nights sleep. Sounds like you haven't had a full night for at least 16 months!

I had this problem with my first child. She's attached to you literally. The breast is like a dummy, it's her comforter. Although it might break your heart, you need to get strong. If you want to continue to breastfeed that's fine, but you need to use it strictly for feeding, not comforting. I'd introduce a cup, and give her this during the day sometimes instead of the breast. That way, she won't reject the breast but will have something additional. Do this for two or three days before you stop giving her the breast at night so she has a chance to get attached to the cup and realise that the breast isn't just available all the time, just some of the time. Make it fun, even if you've already got a cup, take her to the shop with you and let her pick out a new one especially for her "milk" and tell her what it's for. It might be an idea to express your milk & put it into the cup since she's already used to the taste of it and it won't be such a shock when you give her the cup in the middle of the night.

She's old enough now that there's no need to breastfeed her at all if you choose not to, since she can get everything she needs from food & water. Research has shown however that breastfeeding up til 2 years of age can be beneficial to their immune system so it is obviously a personal choice.

If you really want to fix this problem, you need to disattach yourself too. I had the fear that I'd lose the "closeness" I had with my girls once I stopped breastfeeding. One way I got over this was to feed them with a bottle but let them lie on my naked breast when they were drinking. This way, I still got the comfort I needed, and they didn't treat me like a human cow. She might take to the cup more readily this way too.

If you want to continue having her in bed with you at night, you wouldn't complain if she simply laid on top of you at night and stayed asleep would you? At least you can stay asleep yourself. Feeding can be exhausting, and on top of this, having no sleep, you must be a nervous wreck.

After two or three days of the cup, stop giving her the breast at night and offer her the cup instead. If she cries and screams for the breast, you just have to be firm and say no, then ignore the protesting. If you give in, it will go on and on and on. If you stick to your guns, she'll give up in a couple of days and might even sleep through the night. It's worth two or three nights of being strong to get the result isn't it.

I know this is hard, I've been there and done it, and it breaks your heart when they cry. You just have to remember that it's in their best interest as well as yours. If you are tired and can't handle her crying, instead of giving in, put her into her cot where she's safe, then walk out of the room and get a glass of water, or even walk out of the house and shut the door and just breathe the fresh air for five minutes. She might be screaming, but she can't hurt herself physically and she'll get over the screaming pretty quickly. They don't stop loving you just because you let them cry.

They need a strong and healthy parent, and to be that person you need to look after yourself, which means getting at least six hours of uninterrupted sleep at night. You'll find that when she starts sleeping for longer periods at night, she'll sleep less during the day and be less moody also. You'll both be happier and have much more energy. This will allow you to do more with your day and get out of the house more. It will be good for you both.

If you really can't do it on your own, contact your local maternal health nurse or if you don't have one, your local public hospital and they will put you onto someone who can give you support and advice. Good luck - and be strong, you can do this.

Answer 2

With the way people are, I predict you'll be getting some rather admonishing answers from others. There's really no need for me to do that, so please take what I say constructively. A 16 month old child needs the comfort of parents, yes, but she also needs to understand she is not "the boss". First, introduce her to her own bed and tell her that it's her special place to sleep at night. When she wakes up in the middle of the night the first couple of nights, assure her that you're there, nothing bad is going to happen, and tell her to go back to sleep. If you need to tuck her back in, go ahead, but DO NOT take her from her crib. If you do, she will have that "hold" on you. Second, wean her from breast feeding. I understand the security in it, because I nursed my own son. Start scheduling her nap(s) during the day. If she sleeps for a long period of time during the day, cut it in half, wake her up, and keep her awake. This will start getting her on the schedule she needs to be on. About an hour before bedtime, feed her some cereal with or without fruit depending on how she prefers it, and introduce her to a sippy cup with formula or milk. Make sure she has a full belly before bed. After feeding her, give her a warm bath, and use chamomile and/or lavendar in her water if you're able to. The warmth and scents will help relax her and get her ready for bed, and make a big deal about getting her into her crib for the night. Let her think it's a special event. Keep her on this schedule for about a week, and she should be used to it. I well know how heart-wrenching it is listening to your child cry for you for some reason or another, but a firm but loving hand is needed by the parent sometimes. Best wishes to you.

Answer 3

Put her on a schedule. If she takes naps during the day either regulate the time she sleeps or if you already have an alotted time for her then start waking her up 5 min. earlier from each nap.
Assign her a set bedtime and about forty-five minutes before bedtime start playing with her, anything active to wear her down. Play for about 30 minutes and then give her a warm bath, feed her and sit in a chair and read her a story. All of this should make her tired enough to have her sleeping thru the night in no time.

Answer 4

You should have had her sleeping through the night by the time she was 6 months old. Just shut the door at night and do NOT get up. Make her cry herself to sleep. After 3 or 4 nights, it won't be a problem.

Answer 5

Okay I could not listen to my baby cry either so forget that
first does she wake up at about the same time during the night if so go in 15 min before she wakes up and feed her then put her back to bed

then move it back 15 min until she doesn't wake up at all the wake up time will also get earlier until it is so close to bed time she won't wake up cause she is to tired
this worked twice for me
maybe just try and rub her back instead of feeding her she probably just needs to know you are there

Answer 6

ok this is the way to do it, if she sleeps during the day dont let her sleep during the day for a few nights. that will get her really tired.take her out during the day. keep her busy. before you know it she will be knocked out at bedtime. the potty issue, put pantys on her, no more pull ups. she willmake a few accidents but it will be worth it in like a week or two. i hope this helps. you have to be strong with her. dont give into tears as long as shes not crying blood. goodluck

Answer 7

If she is 16 months, she should have been already trained to sleep throughout the night already. Sounds to me that she's spoiled and you need to break her from this. She's too old now to be up all night.

Answer 8

my baby is also 16 months & she's sleeping d whole night (well, from 11 pm till 8-9 am). if she wakes up bcoz she's hungry, u can put ur milk in d feeding bottle, keep it in d fridge then warm it if she wants to drink. she'll learn how to hold it by herself.
u can chk out babycenter.com for more info.
good luck

Answer 9

That's a tough one. Maybe try skipping a nap one day and see if he sleeps better throughout the night. My son stopped taking naps around the same age.

Answer 10

im sorry 2 tell u this but u cant teach a bby 2 sleep through the night