My mothers anniversary death?

Question

I can't sleep..Now is the hour that 4 years have gone by since my mother's death..I am replaying it in my head, ( I was there when she died suddenly) I have done this all day without consiously thinking about it..I feel I am losing my mind.I get like this every June 20th..please help

I heard several ambulances today and jumped about ten feet everytime I heard one go by

I have so many wonderful answers,,, I don't know who to choose for best answer..Thank you all for your kindness I soo appreciate it!! Bless you all

Answer 1

I think with time it will get where it won't be such a knife in the gut, but with each person it's different. I use to go through it every month. You live back the moments and think of the things that proceeded the actual time. Then you relive the days following, or what you actually remember, since so much of those days were a shock. I have noticed that with each passing year it's not every month but there will be things that trigger the flash backs. Loosing a loved one tragically is the toughest. Especially if you aren't prepared. I like to think of it as when it first happened you didn't know how to deal with that kind of pain, with time, you do just that learn to live with it. It doesn't go away, it's just more tolerable. Like a blanket that gets worn in. I am almost to the third year anniversary, and with your question it makes my heart weep since I know that the knife will still cut to my very soul. Some things aren't meant to get over, they either break you or make you stronger. I go on, and I try harder to live my life being a good mother to my other children. That's what my other daughter would want. I hope these two stories bring a smile to you and help you to realize that your mother is not so very far away. I will keep you in my prayers tonight. May you find peace during this difficult time.

The Water Bug

Down below the surface of a quiet pond lived a little colony of water bugs. They were a happy colony, living far away from the sun. For many months they were very busy, scurrying over the soft mud on the bottom of the pond. They did notice that every once in a while one of their colony seemed to lose interest in going about with its friends. Clinging to the stem of a pond lily it gradually moved out of sight and was seen no more. "Look" said one of the water bugs to another,"one of our colony is climbing up the lily stalk. Where do you think she is going?" up,up,up it slowly went.... Even as they watched, the water bug disappeared from sight. It's friends waited and waited but she never returned. "That's funny!" said one water bug to another..."wasn't she happy here?' asked a second...."Where do you suppose she went?" wondered a third....no one had an answer. They were greatly puzzled.....

Finally one of the water bugs gathered it's friends together. "I have an idea, how about the next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk, promises that they will come back and tell us were he or she went and why!" 'We promise they said solemnly.

One spring day not long after the very water bug who had suggested the plan found himself climbing up the lily stalk. Up, up, up he went. Before he knew what was happening he had broken through the surface of the water and fallen into the broad and free lily pad above.

When he awoke, he looked about with surprise....

He couldn't believe what he saw. A startling change had come onver his body. His movement revealed four silver wings and a long tail. Even as he struggled he felt an impulse to move his wings.... The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from his new body. He moved his wings again and suddenly found himself above the water. He had become a DRAGONFLY! Swooping a dipping in great curves he flew through the air. He felt exhilarated in the new atmosphere.

By and by the new dragonfly landed happily on a lily pad to rest. Then it was that he chanced to look below to the bottom of the pond. Why he was right above his old friends the water bugs! there they were scurring around, just as he had been doing some time before. Then the dragonfly remembered the promise. Without thinking, the dragonfly darted down. Suddenly he hit the surface of the water and bounced away. Now that he was a dragonfly, he could no longer go into the water...... "I can't return!" he said in dismay. "At least I tried, But I can't keep my promise. Even if I could go back not one of the water bugs would know me in my new body. I guess that I'll just have to wait until they become dragonflies too.
Then they'll understand what has happened to me, and where I went," and the dragonfly winged off happily into its wonderful new world of sun and air......

Author Unknown

The Silversmith

Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver".

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the Character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study. That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver. As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire And let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to Hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest As to burn away all the impurities. The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver The entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed. The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it"

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has His eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in You.

Here are some really good books to read
Grieving the Pain and The Promise by Deanna Edwards it has some great insights into how important it is to fully grieve and how to deal with your loss.
http://www.deannaedwards.com/

The Message by Lance Richardson
It is an incrediable story, and one in which I cried all the way through just about, but it left a gently peace and rang true for me.
http://www.americanfamilypublications.com/

My 360 has info about my daughter and my loss.

Answer 2

You wrote that your Mothers death was sudden and you were with her- maybe you have Post Traumatic Shock Syndrome.Not to mention that it was your Mother who passed away! I can not even imagine!! My favorite uncle passed away last Friday night and even though he has been sick for years, it did not make the funeral any easier. I keep seeing this picture in my head of when I was eight and he came for a visit and gave me a huge hug! Anyway, I learned about PTS when my children and I were in a terrible car accident so look it up and see if it sounds like what your are going through but next to losing a child, I think it would be the hardest thing in the world to lose your mother and I am 46 years old!
Tammy

Answer 3

I am so sorry you are going through this. I think this is just something that will take time to heal. Do you have any brothers or sisters that maybe you can call on to help you get through the rough times? Maybe you can do some things that helps you to remember fond times with your mother that will make you feel better.I hope you feel better and make it through this rough time. You are in my prayers.

Answer 4

i know just how you feel i get like this the whole mounth of july my dad was in car wreck in july my grandma was murderd in july my grand pa died in july and i was raped in july of course they were all in differnt years but it seems like no matter what i say or do nothing gets easier that mounth haunts me every single year just try to rember the good times you had with your mom i am sure she is watching over you at this very moment and rember even though she is not here she still loves you and in her own way protects you i know it is hard i lost my dad 4 days after xmas to cancer and i talk to him almost every day even though i can't see him i belive he can hear me i have even wrote him letters just because it helps to put things on paper sometimes i will rember you in my thoughts tonite i hope i have offerd a helping hand to you god bless you and take care

Answer 5

in case you like thithi as per Hindu calendar, touch nearest tEmple priest who would be having a "PANCHANG" in accordance to English calendar the anniversary falls on Sept 17, 2012.

Answer 6

Sorry about your mom, but I have never lost anyone that close to me so I don't know what to say. I don't think that it is wrong for you to be feeling what you are though. Take care.

Answer 7

you have to go out more often and not let yourself alone....it is good to have friends whom you can talk too...and make you forget or at least get over with the pain of loosing some one close to you...