The father of the baby and I are fighting to see who the baby will be in custody with after she is born. I say that it will be me, since I am breast feeding and he says it will be him because he is making so much money while being in Iraq to be able to support the baby. But, he isn't helping with anything right now. But he says he will after the baby isborn. But, he is only 19 and I am 21 and he has no place to stay when he gets back except the barracks and I have a place with my sister. I may not make as much money as him, but I am paying my bills and I am getting help from the state as well. Will I lose my baby to him? Please help!
2006-06-20 17:23:24 · 16 answers · asked by princessbaby_gina21 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
No you will not loose the baby to him, especially if you are breast feeding. The money doesn't matter as much...just means he has to pay more in child support. Right now the best place for the baby is with you, for you to breast feed her. I would suggest trying to make the relationship with your ex amicable, cause honestly that IS in the BEST interest of the child. You don't have to get back together, but being friends and able to communicate so that the child doesn't get put in the middle does make it better. Talk with him, tell him the best thing for the baby is for the 2 of you to agree on parenting things and to get along so that the child isn't torn from a small age. As far as the court goes...a majority of the time, the mother is favored, especially when breast feeding. For the first few months he might only get 1-2 hours visitation and depending on the state, he might not get overnight visitation until the baby is over 18 months. It sounds like some mind games are going on...I would suggest talking with a lawyer (most states have a free counsel when children are involved). You need to get some paternity paperwork in the process. Even though you are not married, paternity paperwork needs to be done to decide custody, child support...all the things that have to be done in divorce papers when children are involved. Call some lawyers and get some REAL legal advise. Also, if he is in Iraq...he isn't going to be getting custody at the moment. Don't stress it but do start protecting yourself with the proper legal documents and such!
2006-06-20 17:47:21 · answer #1 · answered by teetee 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is absolutely absurd that there is a custody battle over a newborn not born yet! My goodness, you carried the baby for 9 months and not allowed to breastfeed or forced to pump? He's in the military too, does he have any common sense? Babies need their mommies to bond with them in the special way that babies do. This guy needs someone who has had a baby recently to give him a few clues about life. There's no doubt that mommy is the best person for baby to be with and no judge in his right mind would give that man more than some visitation rights to see the baby while he's with you! Tell him that if he wants baby - he will have to go through labor for you and then breastfeed! - This is just absurd on his part - I just can't help but say it. Babies have special needs as newborns - one word - MOMMY. He'd be putting the baby in daycare while he's doing his military stuff. That makes no sense in the world - and of course babies can't stay with a man who only has a barracks. What is he thinking? He's going to get laughed out of court by the judge and social services - that's for sure!
2006-06-20 18:05:15 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hands down you should have custody of the baby. Not only is your voice and your heartbeat what the baby has been familiar with for 9 months, but it is your body that will give that child the nutrients he or she needs after they are born. There is no way that military father would get awarded custody without a steady place to live. If he makes so much money, the he should be able to be VERY generous with his child support.
2006-06-20 17:30:19 · answer #3 · answered by stewbdoosmrs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The State will probably give you full custody since you will be breast-feeding the baby. Once the baby stops breast-feeding, he can appeal to have share custody, which is probably what you'll have until your baby turns 18. With shared custody, the baby stays with you during the week, but the father could have him/her on weekends and vacations and stuff like that. Unless he can prove to court that you're an unfit parent, the baby will stay with you, but he does have rights as long as he pays child support.
2006-06-20 17:30:02 · answer #4 · answered by Baby_latina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You more than likely won't unless there is a reason. First it wouldn't make sense that they would give someone full custody while in active duty. Secondly if you are breast feeding and able to care for the child and provide what he or she needs I don't see why they would. I would do every other week visits or weekend visits and since he seems to like to flaunt how much money he makes, make sure he supports his child-it isn't fair to you.
2006-06-20 17:27:59 · answer #5 · answered by blondieblue98 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, Don't claim him on the birth certificate, and get legal custody now. There are lawyers you can get advice from on line or in the yellow pages. The time to act is now. Perhaps you can get a advocate group for women to help back you. As for money, if you claim him as the father he has to pay or go to jail. At this moment he has no rights and the child is yours only.
2006-06-20 17:33:44 · answer #6 · answered by dragonsarefree2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually the courts favor the mother. However, if the father is proven to be able to provide a more stable home, and the mother is proven unfit, then the father will be granted custody. It sounds like you will be able to provide more stability, you're the mother, and you'll be breastfeeding, so your chances of getting custody are good. Have you considered visitation for the father?
2006-06-20 17:29:47 · answer #7 · answered by KansasSpice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it will be the mom since she has a more secure place to raise the baby. The barracks isn't a good place to raise a baby
2006-06-20 17:28:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The baby should be with you it does not matter who is going to be making more money .he will have to pay you child support anyway so even if does make more than you.You will be getting some of it for the baby.
2006-06-21 00:57:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the baby has to be with its mother, its needs to be breastfeed for at least 3months to be healthy so he can shove it up his as s coz no judge will take a newborn baby a while from a perfeclt sane and healthy mum like urself you have no worries darl they won't take ur baby off you.
2006-06-20 17:36:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋