my husband is in the military and is leaving for korea in a month and he hasen't been able to go to the aultra sounds or hear the baby heart beat and i think he feels left out but every time i try he has this sad look on his face and says no and his job ain't helping either they have him working all these weird hours how can i include him with out him knowing i am?
2006-06-20 16:30:42 · 15 answers · asked by DRAGONS TAIL23 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sounds like the same problem alot of parents have, we did too. Doesn't matter if he did make it to a ultrasound, he may still feel left out. His job was done months ago and all he can do it wait and watch from the outside. It's tough I'm sure. But don't worry, once the baby is here, he is back from his PCS, he'll be knee deep in it. He won't feel left out then. Plus a part of his feelings are coming from that he is leaving and this is all he has (which isn't much), he's going to miss the so much in the beginning, I'm sure he's sad about it. It will be OK, the fact that are you aware of his feelings is a wonderful sign that you are a great couple. This will be hard, but you'll be fine. Get a great digital camera and video camera. Tape it all, it will help
2006-06-20 16:43:46 · answer #1 · answered by Okiekatt 1 · 8⤊ 3⤋
Do you have a picture camera? If you have a camera, you can capture your husbands hands on your belly, around your waist and holding hands with you. You can use the pictures to create a page to send off with him, tuck it away in his bags, where he will find it only after he leaves. Its hard to include him, if he is refusing. Get a copy of your first ultra sound picture from your OBGYN, put it in a frame at the top of the page. Put words like "Without you, our family would not exist" Get him to make extra finger prints, just for security reasons say. Then add them to the page. Say "Our baby could have your big fingers or your lines." Something to make him think about the moments to come. Then add a little card or poem that tells him how much you appreciate his long hard hours and his helpfulness when you need him. DON'T appologize for not inculding him. Praise him for all that he has done for his coming family. You can even use baby pictures of the two of you and put a ? in the third box, Will our baby have your eyes and my smile? Play with what you have, you can make it!! Good Luck!
2006-06-20 16:42:41 · answer #2 · answered by ebay_convert 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There isn't really a way to include him without his knowledge. I was a military wife myself for 10 years and I know exactly what you are going through. My husband had to miss all but a month of being pregnant with our daughter. The only thing I could do was make video's. Especially when he leaves to go to Korea since they don;t let them take leave like they do in the states. I promise you, he will treasure whatever method you decide to do. Ultrasounds and video's of you being way pregnant and telling him what the baby is doing will help him feel that connection.
2006-06-20 16:41:56 · answer #3 · answered by 32nkikin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have somebody record your appointments on video and tell him you are just making a keepsake of the pregnancy. that way you can keep doing it while he is away and you can either put it in an email to him or he can catch up when he gets back from his tour. try getting a digital camera and getting photo happy. if you have a blank wall in your home stand beside it and make a line on the wall in pen where your back is and a line where your belly ends and remark it every month so he can see how your belly grew and how quickly.
2006-06-20 16:36:47 · answer #4 · answered by Holly G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They have a cool thing you can buy in Walmart now(for about 20 bucks) that will record your babys heartbeat.Look for it in the infant section.Also, keep him updated with emails(if possible).The more you include him, the less he will fell so neglected and sad.Im sure he will miss you and the thought of not being here for you too!Good luck
2006-06-20 16:35:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with everyone else...record the ultrasounds, I have a baby sister and I always with my mother for the ultrasounds. It is the best idea ever, i know for a fact that he will love it!!!
2006-06-20 16:39:23 · answer #6 · answered by Angie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you need him to drive to the aultra sound coz your not feeling well, or leave pic's of the baby lying around for him to see. you could also get a video of the aultra sound and when you know that he is going to walk in the room put it on. i hope one of these ideas will help.
2006-06-20 16:34:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your doctor and see if you could set up something to where you can do an ultrasound at night, when your husband comes home from work....or get the doctore to tape the ultrasounds...all of my neice's are taped because her daddy couldn't be there all the time....
2006-06-20 16:34:29 · answer #8 · answered by nikki_mh02 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do all of those things, those are great. On top of that, talk to him about names, let him know when it is kicking, let him feel it. Talk about plans for the baby, where it might go to school, what you want to do for fun when it's older, that kind of thing.
2006-06-20 16:37:41 · answer #9 · answered by Steve 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
record the baby's heartbeat on tape, some doctors will even record the ultrasound for you, send them to him
2006-06-20 16:34:04 · answer #10 · answered by Melissa D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋