How do ppl do this?

Question

how can people love their spouse if they mistreat them, or abuse them? they say they hit them and treat them like s.h.i.t, but then they say, "but i love them".. how? their mean to them and obviously dont love them back.. i just dont understand that

Answer 1

It's called abuse and it doesn't stop at the physical part of it. The people being abused are in such a dark hole, they don't even know about the outside world and their vision of what's right and wrong is completely blurred by the abuse. They learn to believe that they aren't worthy of anything else and a lot of women are too scared of their abuser to leave. I believe they are only trying to convince themselves as to why they stay. As well I think they have a feeling that their abuser might kill them or commit suicide if they were to leave. It's all about power.

Answer 2

it is very difficult 2 understand until u have lived through it.n hope that u never do because it is the worst of nightmares n leaves permanent scars.they do not hit all the time,when they do its bad but then they r apologetic,over and over it happens why because we fall in love with some1 before the hitting starts and we innately want 2 believe that that person can change this time,over and over.after a time Ur self esteem is so low,almost 2 the point of being gone,then u believe that only that asshole is there 4 u,even when it hurts.

no matter what people tell u the only words u hear after a while is ur tormentor,even when they r not around,it makes u withdrawal from everything.

if Ur lucky something snaps in u and u realize how bad it is and struggle 2 be free.if Ur lucky u get free if u don't u become another statistic and they become murderers.

Answer 3

You know, that is a loaded question. Some people honestly think they deserve to be treated badly, like they are not important enough to be treated nicely. As for the people that are abusing, sometimes they think that is the way to love. They can't grasp the concept of loving without hurting. Or it is a powertrip, look at how much better I am, I can hurt you kind of thing. To be honest, I don't understand it either.

Answer 4

Most of the time they have a mind set that they can change, that it'll all change. It rarely happens but theres still that hope. When people truly love someone whos either physically or emotionally abusive towards them, they tend to look at the good things rather than the bad. It's easier to take in.

Answer 5

I can answer that. I just came out of a domestic violence/mentally abusive marriage. In fact, if someone hadn't have called the police, I would still be in and not able to answer your question. The abuser will do everything he/she can to overpower the person they are abusing. My husband would tell me that I'm fat and ugly and stupid, and that nobody else would want me but him. I actually began to believe him! It's all about head games and control with abusers. After my husband got arrested and was taken from our home, it was like walking out of a heavy fog. With the help of a good therapist, I began to realize that he was WRONG, that I too, deserve love. Hope this helps.

Answer 6

Sometimes love can cause you to do stupid things. But you are right is so disrespectful to your mate to lay your hands on them in anger. Some couples just have an understanding! Its weird but love is sooo complicated.

Answer 7

im wit cha gurl!!! ive always wanted to know too. i guess its because they believe that pain is love or either they're stuck on tha person and have low self esteem and feel like the guy is the only person who wants them.

Answer 8

They just want them to stay with them, so they can beat the sheeyite out of them.

Answer 9

people are stupid....they think it's the best they can do or something....or maybe they are just dependent on the other person or afraid to leave....anyway, they don't love them...they just think they do

Answer 10

they love too beat them up.