why me why my life?

Question

hello i am a mother ofa 10 week and 3 day old son and i am abused by my husband it all started before we got married he get drunk and would tell me he use to beat his first and 2nd wife but i still married thanking it be diffrert for me but i was wrong, first it was yelling, then he would tell me he would hit me he would say stuff like i was lucky he not hit me because he could really hurt me then the grabbing started he would grab me by the arm so hard it would leaves marks he would pin me to the wall so i could not move and yellthen one day he got so drung and grabed my arm telling me he was going hit me and i told him i was not scared of him so he told me i batter be hecause he could kill me then he pushed me so hard a almost fall i finel thongh he calm down so i went to bed he would come in and yell call me names then he set on the bad and puch me so hard i fell of the bed, then i got pranget we got in to it he was so drunk he grab my arms and puch in to the door and for the first time i was scared i though he was going hit me and all i could thank of was not to let him so i slaped him because i though he would hit my tummy and make me lose my baby then the same nigh he trow rock at me and he would hold his fist up and tell me he wish i would lose the baby but he never did touch me because he had is drug buddy over he told my husband if he wanted any drug he would not touch me so he stoped he finel calm down, then when i was 4 months prangent we got in to it he wanted money for the drugs and i wouldnot give it to him so he hit me 2 times on the arm telling me next time it be my face the he grabed a baseball bat and told if i not give him the money he hit me with it so i gave him the money then he lift but he come back with the stuff and telling me h was sorry he hit me he was crying he said it never happen again and i told him i for give him i belive he would not do it again but i was wrong because when i was 6 months prangent we had no money and no food because he took all the money for the drugs and you can't get food without money. finely we got a call telling us we could move in with my family so we could get my husband clean the day befor the move he was getting high on that stuff his lighter was out so he was useing a candle and i not want him doing them drugs so i blow out the candle and he slaped me in the face and all i did was go to bed telling my self it all stop when we get to texas but i was wrong he started telling me who i can and cn't talk to where i can and can't go he had to know where i was at ever min even when i went to the bathroom he would give me money and i have to tell him how much i spent, where and what i got finely on march 31 2006 i had my son he was so sweet but that only was for 2 weeks then the yelling started back he would yell at me at welmart where people could hear he would call me names he would tell me woman know nothing and men knew it all then on june 3 2006 we went to eat he got drunk he went 6 monthsno dranking so when he got drunk he got mean and started yelling at me we was on the side of the road walking he would tell me i was a bad mother the he grabed me so hard i though he pull my clothes off he let go of me we got behind this church and for some reason i can't remember why set down on the ground by then the yelling got worse my son started crying soi was feeding him but he was still in his stroller my husband we tell me he would not hit me he say he could go to jail if he did then he hit me so hard on the arm it turn purple it as the first time ever he lift a mark and again he told me he hit my face next time and i told himi was not scared so he started comeing to me with his fist up telling me i batter be scared. then he put his hands in my face i was so scared he would hit me again i could not look at him he then knid of man if you don't look it makes him worse finel he calm down, the 5 days ago i not fold up the baby diaper up so he slaped me . i always though it was from dranking and the drugs that maid him mean they was a part of it but then one day we got in to over the drugs it would be part of it, then i found out he don't have to be drunk to treat me bad because for a long time i did not see that he was treating me bad now i just hopping he will change because i don't want to leave him i love him but i want him to treat me right he a good father and sometimes he a good man just wish it was all the time

Answer 1

listen i'm gonna be honest with u been their done it 3 kids later. it took allot to actually leave but i put my kids first. U don't want that child growing up thinking thats a way to treat women. you need to get a restraining order. their is a great website, but be careful if he checks your computer. www.womenslaw.org please please use it. there is alot of support out their. He is NOT going to change. it is just gonna get worse not better. you need to stay safe. what will ever happen to your baby if your dead. you gotta put that child first. it is not gonna be easy. i left with nothing. no money, but i am alive, and my kids are doing great, much better then if i ever stayed. please protect your self. i know ur scared to call the police, cause he is gonna be out, but their are good clean safe places that u can go to. please visit that website, it really helped me out alot. I wish you and that baby of yours lots of luck and protection.

Answer 2

Get out and get out now. Find A program that deals with battered wifes. There is a place called W.I.S.E. If there is not one around you find some where else like this. Call the cops. If you can find the time to Write this on the computer you have enough time to pick up a phone and say I need help and your address and hang up. If he is abusing you he WILL abuse your child. I know you think you love him but it is most likely fear that holds you there. Trust me it can feel the same. If you can not pick up the phone the next time you bring that baby for a check up tell the doctor they can get you the help you need. But honey you need to get help as soon as possible. He has already done this to 2 other women and he will not stop. He will in the end kill you do not ever think he is not capable of this. He has already told you this and need take this seriously. This is not just your life anymore this is your childs. If you stay and he does not kill you this is what your son is going to become because that is all he is going to know. Please visit this site www.silcom.com then go to www.safe4all.org. These can give you a list of safe houses(he can not get to you) and shelters in your area. PLEASE PLEASE GET OUT NOW. Stay safe. Your in my prayers.

Answer 3

The most important thing in life is that you are happy, and I can tell by reading what you have written that YOU ARE NOT HAPPY. Sometimes, no matter how much you think you love someone, they are just not the person for you. A good man NEVER hits a woman. EVER.

I hope that you find the strength within yourself to realize that this is not the best situation for you or your child, because until you do, things won't change. A leopard doesn't change it's spots, and neither will your husband.

Answer 4

I'm telling you now. You HAVE to get out of the house now! He could kill you, or start abusing your kids. He might get out of control, so you have to act fast! According to you, he knows where you go and everything, so you better go somewhere where he couldn't find you. Call the police as soon as possible, but make sure they trust you. There are many choices of what you can do next, but the obvious one is to get away from him as fast as you can. He is extremely dangerous...or if you have the guts, get a court date, so that they could lock him in jail, and you wouldn't have to worry. For now, go stay at a far off motel, call your friends, stay with them. Don't let him use ur friends to get to you. Get a treatment. You mights have broken bones, etc. If you have the money, fly off to another state where you have relatives that he doesn't know of. Or friends. Maybe you love him, but he obviously doesn't love you back the way you want him to. I life, you have to make sacrifices. This is not a good life for you, and not for your kids. God be with you. We are all praying. ;)
PS: i hate to say this but IF this is a dirty joke, then its no time to laugth.

Answer 5

You are definitely in an abusive situation. For the safety of both you and your baby, you need to find a safe place to live. If there are any women's shelters in your area, call them without delay. If you feel like you or your baby are in any kind of physical danger, call 911.

Sometimes loving someone means doing what is necessary to stop abusive behavior before it escalates into something more serious--like murder.

For your and your child's sake, please get help now.

Answer 6

u shouldnt have married him in the first place becos u know what u were getting urself into, love is not enough to be in an abusive marriage, god forbid but he could kill u one day by hitting u, its better u leave him now cos he's never going to change, think about how ur baby needs u right now or better still report him to social services or whatever. good luck.

Answer 7

In your question you say, "why me why my life," but it's not just you anymore is it? Towards the end of your story you say, "he a good father." A good father doesn't hurt his child's mother. What is he going to teach his son over the years if you stay in this relationship? What if this man does more than just hurt you? Do you want your son raised alone by this person? Please get out while you can.

Answer 8

You need to ditch this wife beater and go get a real man. Preferably some big bad a%^ MFer who will go see just how tuff this guys really thinks he is!! I hope you take someone here's advice and leave before he kills you.

Answer 9

OK if this is for real then let me tell you, he is not a good man, he's never been a good man and you now have a responsibility to your child to get you both the hell away from this man. I'm hoping you're telling the truth because I can help you; please contact me...

Answer 10

Get out before he hurts you and the kids..If you have no where to go,,then go to a shelter. There are shelters for abused women.