Anyone going to help me out????i dont want my parnents to hate me.....?

Question

i am 17 years old. i have a very busy schedule. before i got out of school for the summer. I had hard classes to study for, softball, bible club, nursing club, a job and a bf, also a best friend that needs help taking care of her baby. Most of this stuff i am doing is to better myself and to make up for all the time i spent being a total idiot. Now that school is out i have a 40 hr week job. And in most of my spare time i spend w/ my bf or softball team.anyways the question is, my parents act like they are pissed off at me b/c im not home 24/7 cleaning, cooking etc.believe me i do help out alot around the house. but it seemd like to me that they dont care if im working or doing something good for myself. they just want me home helping out.its not like there isnt someone else to do it i have a 14 year old sister. she doesnt do anything except smart mouthing my parents.what am i supposed to do? i have to have a job so i can get a car b4 i turn 18 and they want me out when i turn 18.help

yeah there is more to my story........my parents want me out of the house at 18.............and they wont pay for me a car or for any of my personal expenses......so i have to have a job but i dont want them to hate me and i feel like crap when i am at home...........plus my bf has helped me out ALOT ive been w/ him for 3 years and i figure that me and him would be together......he is the best bf ever in the whole world has helped me out alot these past 3 years

Answer 1

wow thats alot fora teenager you shouldnt feel bad all if they wantuout by18 yrs old u have to work and go to school to better yourself and have money to support yourself when home do as muchhouse work as u can so that they can stay off your back your parents should understand and be thankful yournot out getting knocked up or a drop outor on drugs i wish u luck continue to save for your car and extra expensives and a place to live and keep that guy he seems like a winner

Answer 2

You need to sit down and have a serious talk with your parents. Everything you wrote in your question here you need to tell them. Just be honest with them. They need to know everything that you have going on in your life and that you work a full time job - which means you aren't home much and when you are off you want to relax a little. You also need to bring up that you are saving money for a car/apt because they told you that you have to be out of the house when you are 18.
Just be honest with them, but respect them at the same time. They might want you home to help out - and you should spend some time at home doing some things when you can. Maybe to compromise make a schedule - when you have off spend a day or two at home helping out.

Answer 3

Look at it this way. Yes, you are 17 and working and doing what you need to do in school. Are you doing what you need to do at home as well? Laundry, helping with dishes, cleaning your room/bathroom, yard work? You said you spend time with your boyfriend. So do you spend time with him before you do what is needed at home? You are doing something for yourself and that is great, but you have priorities. do you think that when you get out on your own someone will be at your house to do all of the above stuff for you so you can have a social life and work? I wish that was the case. Your parents provide for you so in their eyes you don't need a job(just a guess). You want a job to buy a car that you want, and probably clothes and other stuff too. Your parents however want you to be responsible and get your priorities in order. Your parents probably work full time 40 hours a week. Do you do as much work around the house as they do? My guess is no. If you want to be an adult act like one then they will treat you differently. Don't blame your working for the fact that you don't do other things that you need to.

Answer 4

Well, If the mess around the house isnt from you....

And the only other sibling there is 14...

Where are her responsiblities?

You work, do you pay rent? Saving for your own place?

It seems to me you should not let them give
you a guilt trip, why cant your mom or dad or sis help out a lil more?

Is it because they have a job and a life also?
They dont think your job or life is as important as theres?


If you are 17 you are a adult...

but if there going to give you a hard way to go about responsible and working....

And cant understand you need time to yourself also...

Id move out..

May seem short or uncaring but HEY,
Your hurt and frustrated anyways ....
SO you feel me Im sure

Answer 5

I've was in a similar situation growing up... yea it sucked but I just went with the flow.. your parents are going to have to understand that you have a life and are growing up.. you need to talk with them and let them understand that you can't be there 24/7. the best way is always be honest and straight forward.. and most of all be civil and respectful.. yelling matches never do anything but get everyone upset.. and then your back where you started... also you should have a "girl on girl" talk with your sister and see where she stands with everything and see if she could help pick up some slack around the house.

Answer 6

That's amazing you can do all of this stuff and not be completely exhausted, and congratulations on doing whatever you can to better yourself. NEVER lose sight of your dreams/goals.

Your parents are hopefully trying to raise you the best they know how. It might not be right, but if you are living with them, you should probably follow their rules - unless they are asking you to do something illegal (which it doesn't sound like they are.). I think they just might be scared of you leaving, even though they do still have a daughter at home.

Maybe you should sit down with them and talk to them. There may be some kind of compromise you can all come too. I hope it works out for you.

Answer 7

that's a tough spot to be in. I can see it 2 diff ways. they may feel left out of your life and are trying to pull you back into theirs because they love you and don't know how to ask you to be around more. i can also see it like my brother-in-laws case. he feels that he is a man and is living on his own (in his college dorm), has a job (on and off), and feels totally put out and feels that so much is being asked of him when he is asked to mow the yard or help around the house right after his mom pass his cellphone bill or he askes his parents if him and his girlfreind can join them for dinner and then asks his parents to pay. maybe they are in the wrong and should let you live your life with your friends and bf or maybe you should be expected to do more than you do, but just don't see it because all you can see is your side. I'm not saying you are wrong or selfish, just to open your mind a little and involve your family a little.life is not always about the person living it. i hope you figure it out.

Answer 8

Hello, Scottsgurl..
You definitely have a parent issue on your hands.
You will need to sit down with your parents when the time is right and tell them how you are feeling but in the nicest way possible or you won't get anywhere with them. If they are reasonable they will speak calmly to you and you must do the same to get to the root of the problem. Somehow, you both have lost communication about your lifestyle or theirs. If you get mad and yell they will not be respectful to you. So try to pick a time that is good for you all without your sister there. They obviously have some concerns about you or they wouldn't be so nasty and want to kick you out. You will need to be flexiable and listen to them as well. Try to come to some agreement on issues.. say "I feel" this when you do or say this to me.... Let them say how they feel.
Tell them that you want to have a better relationship with them and you are trying really hard to make your life better. You would
like to make them happier but you also need to feel better about your family relationship as well.
Try to come up with solutions together and ways to make things better. Keep cool and be flexiable. If your parents are hot heads
then you have to try and be the adult and walk away and make some plans to be on your own.

Answer 9

girl, you are doing the right thing,,, your life is yours....
you do not owe them because they gave birth to you. that;s their problem.
It seems you are doing what you have to do and thats all anyone can ask. Cleaning etc is not the most important thing in life.

I would suggest to move out a.s.a.p, see how things are in the real world, more importantly show them you know what the real world is like. You have a job now, you can afford it, can;t you?

So you won;t be able to get a car as nice as you like, but thats the choices in life we make when we have this thing called a budget.

Life goes on, your parents will want you to come to their house all the time, as they will miss you like hell.
All in all, you will not have their nagging, you will have your own life, privacy and clean how you want and when you want. And i promise it is the best feeling to be totally independent.

Hope this helps.

Answer 10

I think you, need to re-think your schedule. It's seems to be overwhelming. (try cutting out extra actives,-nursing club, softball and also limit your self with helping out your friend. She must have family,friends or daycare.It is good that you can help out but you need to think about your future.

Are your parents good at communication? If so, you need to tell them how you feel. If not, then you need to make sure you find some help with a consular or teacher. It can get ugly when you don't have parents that are supportive. It is not that bad to help clean house, trust me - when you actually move out of the house -you'll miss having your parents around.