WELL I'M JUST LOOKING FOR SOME OPINIONS.. I DON'T WANT TO ASK MY FRIENDS. BUT I ASSUMMED MY BOYFRIEND OF TWO YEARS WAS UP TO SOMETHING SO I HACKED INTO HIS EMAIL AND SURE ENOUGH HE WAS TALKING (VERY DIRTY)TO OTHER PEOPLE. I WAS IN THE WRONG TO LOOK AT HE E-MAIL BUT I JUST KNEW HE WAS UP TO SOMETHING. I CONFRONTED HIM ABOUT IT AND HE DENINED IT. HE HAD PLANS TO ACTAULLY MEET UP BUT DIDN'T. HIS ARGUMENTIS THAT I HAVE NO PROOF. (I DON'T WANT TO TELL HIM I LOOK AT HIS E-MAIL) NOW HE IS REALLY GOOD ABOUT DELETING HIS OLD MAIL AND SENT MESSAGES ( AND USES A FAKE NAME). BUT I NOW HE'S ON SOME KINKY WEBSITE LOOKING FOR GIRLS. I WILL LEAVE HIM BUT I WANT TO CATCH HIM! WE LIVE TOGETHER AND HAVE THINGS THAT WE'VE ACCUMULATED SINCE BEING TOGETHER, WHICH MAKES THINGS DIFFICULT.OH YEAH I GAVE HIM BACK HIS RING.. WE WERE ENGAGED!!!! WHAT SHOULD I DO?
2006-06-20 15:10:43 · 21 answers · asked by Girlie88 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
sounds like you need to go out and have some fun. forget things for a while.
2006-06-20 15:14:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me, I need to be able to trust the man I'm with 100%. I believe your fiance cheated. Even if all he did was write dirty emails. He still took intimacy away from your relationship and gave it to another woman. But, that also doesn't mean he had physical sex, or was going to. But, I think there is a good chance that was the intent. Maybe he already has, or maybe you caught him before he could. Tough decisions you have in front of you. I understand that you live together and share things you've accumulated. Unfortunately if this is a pattern for him....it will be even harder for you when you also share children. I don't think you have to prove anything......it's your call, and your decision to make. Just think about your future and ask yourself if he is the type of man with the qualities you need to that will make you happy and feel cherished years from now?? Also, you didn't do anything wrong by checking his email. If someone gives you reason to doubt them....all privacy bets are off. Do whatever you need to find the answers you want. Good luck
2006-06-20 15:22:47 · answer #2 · answered by wendy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my god... I am so sorry to hear about your situation, I am engaged na dliving in too, and I would be just devastated if I found out my fiancee was cheating. What I would do first is make sure 100% that it is true. Just finding some dirty emails does not necessarily equal cheating in real life. You said he was planning to meet with someone, but didn't. Do you know why he didn't? Maybe he is just talking to girls and planning on meeting, but then not. This could be a deeper issue than just cheating. Find out why he would be doing this If you are sure that he has cheated, just tell him you read his email. I know you don't want to do this, but you need to be honest. Being honest will put you on a higher level than him, make you the better person, even though you read the email. If you were really ready to get married, you surely cannot just leave him without a conversation about this incident. Find out why he cheated. Not that you should take any excuse (because thee is no excuse!), but I think you would feel better knowing (I know I would). So yea, just tell him you read the email. Or you could always say "Well, your best friend ____ told me!" Just to see what his reaction is. Good luck, and talk to him about it.
2006-06-20 15:18:46 · answer #3 · answered by punky_tshirts 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you saved the email then is is all the prove required. Internet history is also a nice thing to look at as well and temporary Internet files. It is your computer in the house you are living in so you do have the right to look. But I really doubt prove will help much since you are not married you are not really entitled to anything that you don't have a receipt for. If you are waiting to prove to give him the boot you really shouldn't wait.
2006-06-20 15:17:50 · answer #4 · answered by kg122673 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its obvious u know the answer already. if he is lying about what he is doing on the net, and site he is going to and what he is doing, chances are what else is he not lying about.
i would leave him as painful as it is, but material things are just material things. what is more important?
U should be in a secure relationship w/someone u trust.
I have a friend who's been dealing w/a cheating husband for 10 years and nothing has changed. he blames her for her delusions, according to him. will deny everything even though the truth is starying him in the face.
just leave him!
2006-06-20 15:18:18 · answer #5 · answered by scheidster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to catch him - back off and get him to let his guard down. If he knows you are checking on every detail, he will be very careful to cover the details.
Now, the adult answer... who cares if you prove it? If you know he is cheating, isn't it enough that YOU know??? just end the relationship and tell him you just don't trust him and move on with your life.
Everyday you spend trying to catch the cheater, is a day you aren't spending finding that person you are supposed to be with.
2006-06-20 15:17:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek and you shall find. Never go looking for trouble if you can't handle the truth. Email/internet is it really cheating?
The real issue is trust. It's hard to have a relationship without trust. If you know you are NEVER going to trust him, you must leave him because you will NEVER be happy with him.
2006-06-20 15:21:26 · answer #7 · answered by Dancer3d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spectorsoft, it is a behind the scenes computer record of everything he does, including opening emails, typing emails. It takes snapshots of everything he does. Also, pull his cell phone records, and go through them. Look for the long, frequent calls. I know this sucks, but if you really want to catch him, catch him!!! If you need anymore advise, just ask.
2006-06-20 15:15:38 · answer #8 · answered by johnlawdog232003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um...this is the problem with living together before marriage. Either one or the other or both tend to not take the relationship seriously, and something like this happens.
Time to move on.
2006-06-20 15:18:24 · answer #9 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off if he does love u givin back that ring should be enough.if that isnt just keep checkin his mail or find out what sites he gors 2 n pretend to be some girl n then leave his *** speechless when it smacks him in the face.
2006-06-20 15:17:09 · answer #10 · answered by raylovesdaladies 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay...
If he's cheating... why do you have to PROVE it?
It's sufficent that YOU know. What do you want to take a POLL?
I'd break off the engagement and find somone who's worthy of a long term relationship
2006-06-20 15:14:52 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋