I need help?

Question

I have been having a lot of trouble with my mom lately. My dad passed away a year ago and she doesnt think i even care. But I dont like talking to her about it. What should I do?

i dont have a problem tlaking about it w/ my friends, just her. I dont want her to feel bad for me, and give me a whole bunch of attention.

Answer 1

Here is something that you can share with your mother. You might even find it helpful to read it -- or parts of it -- together, then discuss what comes to mind. It may not be easy or enjoyable, but it can certainly show her that you care if you do so with a view to helping her (rather than just 'getting it over with')!

When Someone You Love Dies :
... "It Can't Be True!"
... Is It Normal to Feel This Way?
... How Can I Live With My Grief?
... How Can Others Help? <<<
... A Sure Hope For the Dead http://www.watchtower.org/library/we/index.htm
This brochure is also available in print, and audio form.

Below are more helpful, on-line articles that you might find apply to your situation:

Empathy--Key To Kindness and Compassion
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2002/4/15/article_01.htm

Wholesome Communication
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/1999/7/15a/article_01.htm
[Covering ANY relationship -- including child-parent -- are the principles in this article.]

Apologizing--A Key to Making Peace
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2002/11/1/article_02.htm
[We often don't realize when we've said or done something that hurts someone else's feelings. but a simple, heartfelt apology can make quite a difference!]

It sounds like your Mom is still in the grieving process. The fact that you say you've 'been having trouble' sounds like you may be arguing, so I also suggest you also read:

How Can You Make Peace With Others? :
... Wars With Words--Why Are They Hurtful?
... The Benefits of Making Peace
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2005/3/1/article_01.htm

I hope you are able to 'iron things out' with your Mom!

Sincerely,
"Make Sure of All things; Hold Fast to what is Fine!"
1 Thessalonians 5:21

Answer 2

Just tell her you have a really hard time talking about it and you feel better when you push it to the back of your mind. But that's because you care a lot. People grieve in different ways. You should try to talk to her abt it once in a while though, because that obviously helps her to grieve.

Answer 3

Find a friend to talk too. Also tell your mom you are hurt over the lost of your father but you can talk about it.
She should understand that.
Just give her time. She's probably having a hard time dealing with it.
☺

Answer 4

I`m sorry you lost your Dad first of all,everyone deals diffrent with grief... Invite your Mom on a picnic and sit down and explain to her how you feel... Mom's understand Honey..I`m a Mom of 4

Answer 5

Although you don't like talking about it because it makes you feel uncomfortable you have to. Sit down with your mom and express your feelings of loss to her and what it means to you. Once she understands that you are dealing with your loss in another way it should bring you two closer together.

Answer 6

okay the reason she thinks you dont care is becuase you hold your emotions in write you havent cried about it in front of her have you if you want her to stop talking about it you need to tell her how you feel cuase other wise she'll never stop talking about him and all that emotion in you will come out one day it okay to cry even if your a man

Answer 7

Explain that to her, although it may help both of you heal if you just sat down and talked about him with her.

Answer 8

communication is the key to any relationship.....looks like you two trying to punish each other for the death of your father....

Answer 9

Tell her the truth. tell her that you don't like talking to her about it and tell her why you don't like talking to her about it.

Answer 10

Tell her what you just told us.