I am now 17 years old and my father died when I was 14 from drugs and alcohol. I live with my mom and my life is nothing like it use to be. However, I have recently caught my mom smoking pot 3 or 4 times. She says she's stressed and it helps her but its making me mad. She's acting like she use to and I'm not for sure what to do because I don't want to go down that same road again. I've tried talking to her and she just tells me to leave her alone. The last time I caught her I decided to tell her mother about it and all she said to do was to pray but thats not helped so far. Any advice?
2006-06-20 11:42:39 · 13 answers · asked by Led*Zep*Babe 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. It does make things hard, and I know you are worried about your Mom. The hard part of this is that you cannot help those who will not help themselves, and who are not willing to make a change. Your Mom is going through something really difficult and may be addicted. Since you can't change how she thinks, the only thing you can do is love her, and not enable her. In order to learn how to do that, I'm going to suggest that you go to either Al-Anon or Al-Ateen. Even tho' it's for the families of loved ones who are alcoholic, it is the same process for drugs--all of the same steps apply. Addiction is addiction. You need to learn that only she can change her behavior, and you have no control over that--you can only change how you deal with it. And it truly does help--I've been where you are, and you can come out of the other side of this OK. I promise! Look it up in the phone book and go to a meeting. You will be surprised how much better you will feel after.
2006-06-20 11:55:39 · answer #1 · answered by Waferette 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am 16 and I know for a fact that Mothers are vunerable to crying...Print some information on the 'dangers of smoking pot' and post them all around the house. the next time she does it cry and beg her to stop. Then nag her about the health affects. Pray again to God and make sure you end the prayer saying "In Jesus Christ name I pray"... ALso ask a few friends to help you pray for your mother. There is a Bible verse that states something to the effect of, when a few are gathered, I will come. I know this works, I will be praying for your Mom too!
and...DONT GIVE UP!
If you give up, she'll find more excuses to smoke, a few websites to get you started below
Random
2006-06-20 11:54:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you love your mother and all but the best thing for her to do is go to counseling or try to get some help from the doctor for her stress. If she is not willing to go I would tell her that you can't take it anymore and that you are going to move out that is if you have anywhere else to go. It sounds like your mother doesn't want to be bothered with trying to help herself so you have to make the first move. Since you tried to talk to her and that didn't work see if anyone else could problem talk to her. If not then your grandmother is right just pray for her and let God work. If she isn't willing to help her self a little then there is nothing else you can do but to pray. You tried talking and that didn't work. Just believe in God and he can make all things possible. God doesn't put anymore on us that we can't handle. Just hang in there and pray.
2006-06-20 11:55:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing you say or do is gonna change her behavior, unless she wants to change it. What's causing her stress? Your dad's death, or her friends, or her job? If she got different friends or a different job then she could get rid of the stress and not have that as an excuse anymore. If she's still bothered by your dad's death then she could get counseling for that (yeah I know doing the same thing he did isn't a very intelligent way to deal with it, but emotions frequently don't make sense).
Either way, all you can do is suggest stuff to her, knowing that she might still ignore you. I know how tough this is on you but if you have to you can always move in with your grandma or another family member.
2006-06-20 12:59:00 · answer #4 · answered by onyxflame 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, your grandmother is right. Continue to pray.
THink about it this way. If you were the one with this behavior, what could your mother or anyone else do to stop it, until you wanted to stop it.
You might think about asking your grandmother if you can move in with her. It sounds like that might get you away from the bad influences in your life and help keep you on the right track.
I wish there was a catch-all anwer that would solve the problem, but there isn't.
2006-06-20 11:49:51 · answer #5 · answered by cindy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only reason y shes doing drugs is cuz shes still in pain from the death of her husband/ur dad; she cant let it go. i can tell that u really wanna help her. i think u shuld try talking to her again but this time tell her how much u care bout her and that u dont want her to die (cuz drugs can lead to death). tell her that taking drugs isnt gonna make her life less stressful cuz no matter wat she takew, if her problems arent solved theyll keep coming baq and making her life even more horrible. also explain to her that she shuld try exercising which is the healthier way to become less stressed in life. if all this doesnt work then bring her to a couselor
good luck =\
2006-06-20 12:10:18 · answer #6 · answered by michelleee♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would keep trying to talk to her. If it still doesn't work, you need to keep asking your Grandmother to help you. You may also consider talking to a family friend or a neighbour for advice.
If this still doesn't work, you should talk to your family or your mother's doctor. You mother maybe depressed, and you could ask the doctor what you could do to help her. Because you've caught her smoking it a few times, keep track of how often she smokes it. She may get addicted to it.
2006-06-20 11:48:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like maybe she is depressed because of the loss of your dad and is using pot to help her calm down. Will she see a counselor regarding her grief? That may help, although I'm sure it would be hard to get her to go. Can you go talk to an adult, like a school counselor or something just to have a place to vent?
2006-06-20 12:59:37 · answer #8 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you want her to get help. you have to report her. That may also mean that they'll take you out of the home. Do you have any other family that would let you stay with them? or, threaten to rat her out if she doen't agree to join a treatment program. it's the best u can do for her.
2006-06-20 11:49:18 · answer #9 · answered by jenniferb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would advise you to go to a friends house or a neighbor.
or call the alcholics anonymous hotline.
they could help. or catholic charities hotline. maybe they can help. your mom definetly needs to help. and you are trying to help but even her own mom dont know. maybe live with her mom.(grandma?)
but you need to get away from your mom. sorry.
2006-06-20 11:49:38 · answer #10 · answered by cats3inhouse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋