we went on one date 8 years ago, but he was living with someone and told me. i looked him up again 1 year ago and he had split up with someone and was really happy to meet me, he kissed me and said he wanted to see me again, he texted me the following night but then met him again a few months(!) later and he acted like nothing had happened. he said he was depressed with his job and thinking of moving away, he was very cold. I texted to him that i thought he was a beautiful and he never took a call from me again! what is going on. I am living with someone at the moment but all i can think and have thought about is this man, should I give it a last go and contact him? i dont want him to think i am a stalker!!! pls help!! cupids arrow hit me and i cant remove it!
2006-06-20 07:53:56 · 24 answers · asked by bettie_bebe 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I agree with the statement, "he's not that into you". Can you really deal with that? If you can deal with being someone's convenient comfort, then by all means go for it. If you're looking for someone to participate in your life, then he's not the one. It sounds like he's not capable of participating in anyone's life when he has problems of his own. I learned very quickly not to get involved with this kind of guy. It's a continual cycle. You guys make out and have fun. You "express" how awesome you're feeling. He runs away and (ugghhh) if you pin him down, there's an excuse that has nothing to do with you! Hence...he's not that into you or the excuse that he uses for his lack of "connecting" with you would be YOU! Ha! A guy that tells you that he's having a hard time talking to you because......(you really said something that made him think twice, you did something that really made him angry, you really didn't seem to be that into him..) now THAT's the guy who's into you and is giving you the opportunity to work together on a relationship.
How do you get over him? Easy, picture yourself having his kids and constantly being left at home with the little ones because he always has something better to do AND your friends and family are all shaking their heads because they probably told you not to go there...AND you're crying your eyes out every night because he believe he's with someone else and he doesn't care about how you feel.....yada yada yada... How can you create an image out of what is NOT true. You're imagining yourself building a life with this person?? On what grounds? Our imagination takes shape in reality when we have a solid foundation for what we'd like to make happen. Why imagine yourself as a doctor and think it's going to come to past if you've no interest in medicine or haven't started medical school?
Just some thoughts...
2006-06-20 15:01:35 · answer #1 · answered by fiteprogram 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
1. Resolve the issue of you are living with someone and pining for another. You owe it to the guy you are with to make up your mind and let him know either way as soon as you can.
2. If you get the chance again with the 'one date' man, make your case as honestly and clearly as you can and see if he will or won't try it with you. It seems he doesn't want to give you that chance, but put your all into it if you get the chance. That will force him to decide about you.
He will accept or reject, either way it will make it easier for you to move on in your life, with him or without him.
One last thing: You may be able to have your cake and eat it too, but not for long. It doesn't end well. It hurts people. It is more respectful if you don't in the first place. Take steps to undo the mess before it gets further along and makes things worse later.
2006-06-20 14:56:29 · answer #2 · answered by Ken C. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a relationship already, and are cheating, doesnt that bother you? Dont you think it might bother this other guy too? you see him once, text, and kiss and then dont see him for months, and still expect him to be 'waiting' for you? Did you ever tell him you wanted to leave your present bf? No? So what has he got to look forward to? Why should he sit there waiting for your call? Or anything for that matter? Everytime he meets you you are with someone else, You are expecting men to just flock to you because why exactly?????
Lady , you are a mess
2006-06-20 15:05:54 · answer #3 · answered by Pete 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is your current relationship and not your past. Get out of the situation you are in first. NOT for this other bloke, but because you have a right to be happy, and so does your current bloke. Time to treat the pair of you with respect! You are both in a lose, lose. Go for a win, win.
Get rid of this other bloke as well. You are looking for an exit strategy and you know it. He is unlikely to be the one!
Time to be true to yourself and accept your own beauty. So difficult. I know because I had to learn the same.
2006-06-20 15:08:28 · answer #4 · answered by Ade Babe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to pass on this one. The man is not interested, and apparently has problems. You may have the best of intentions in seeking a relationship with him, but it's not going to be a good thing. There's an old song that is true, even today, "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with." Sad, but true.
2006-06-20 14:57:46 · answer #5 · answered by Quietman40 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you probably see this man as a removal from all of your problems at home. I think that there is no possible way he could live up to your expectations of him and you have set him on this pedestal of white knight to save you from all your problems.
I think you should focus on either solving the issues with the man you live with or getting out of that relationship. I think that you should see a psyciatrist about this and that you need to live in reality instead of a fantasy world.
2006-06-20 14:57:22 · answer #6 · answered by QuestionWyrm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes guys get tied up from work stress or ex stress which they cover up with work. I would call him and tell him that youve been thinking of him a lot lately and were wondering if he's single and willing to meet up. Dont pressure him and just say that if not fine, no problem. Ask about meeting up for coffee or dinner or something.
2006-06-20 14:58:13 · answer #7 · answered by alienorgy69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to findout this mans true feelings. love is a two way street. Quick messing around and get to the point. If there isnt any attraction for him then move on and forget it. But you need to find out... You need a good night in bed or closure... one or the other.
2006-06-20 14:58:34 · answer #8 · answered by Grin Reeper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a very similar situation recently. but just wanted to tell you that if you do not feel the same way towards the person you are with now, then you are waisting your life.
I suggest that you call the guy just to say hi. I am sure he will appreciate it.
2006-06-20 15:03:10 · answer #9 · answered by joe c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to get past him. If he were really interested he would be on your door step. You can't make someone love you. 8 years is way too long. Move on with your life and find someone who wants to spend time with you. Fantasies don't work.
2006-06-20 14:57:55 · answer #10 · answered by Snuffy Smith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋