Can you cheer me up please, having a bad day :-(?

Question

any jokes, or ideas to cheer up a girl who's sad, and sick of being on medical leave from work? I just want to get back to life as normal but today is just harder, I'm just getting sick of it.

Peace & Love to you all!

1, I like your idea
2, LMAO!!!!

WOW! you all rose to the challenge!
I'll be trying out a BUNCH of your suggestions, if I can try them all, I will!
I LOVE your jokes, true, some are corny, but I'm laughing! IT FEELS GREAT! Hope I can keep it up!
Thanks everyone! :-D
Hope all of your days are good!

Answer 1

I am an aircraft mechanic and I'm going to share a little something with you that alot of people dont know.
every airplane that is in the sky has something wrong with it.
and if it happens in the air it is the pilots responsibility to write down the discrepency. below are the problems and solutions that pilots wrote down for the mechanics to fix.


>>P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
>>S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
>>----------------------------------------
>>P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
>>S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
>>----------------------------------------
>>P: Something loose in cockpit.
>>S: Something tightened in cockpit.
>>----------------------------------------
>>P: Dead bugs on windshield.
>>S: Live bugs on backorder.
>>----------------------------------------
>>P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
>>S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
>>------------------------- ---------------
>>P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
>>S: Evidence removed.
>>----------------------------------------
>>P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
>>S: DME volume set to more believable level.
>>----------------------------------------
>>P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
>>S: That's what they're for.
>>----------------------------------------
>>P: IFF inoperative.
>>S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
>>----------------------------------------
>>P: Suspected crack in windshield.
>>S: Suspect you're right.
>>----------------------------------------
>>P: Number 3 engine missing.
>>S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
>>----------------------------------------
>>P: Aircraft handles funny.
>>S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, & be serious.
>>----------------------------------------
>>P: Target radar hums.
>>S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
>>----------------------------------------
>>P: Mouse in cockpit.
>>S: Cat installed.
>>----------------------------------------
>>P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
>>pounding on something with a hammer.
>>S: Took hammer away from midget.

Answer 2

Once upon a time, there was an old Alleycat hunting in an alley, when he heard a Kitten crying in a dumpster. He jumped in to help, and found the kitten sitting at the bottom of the empty dumpster with the base of it's tail clamped firmly in it's own teeth.
The Alleycat asked, "Kitten, what are you doing?"
The Kitten replied, "I learned in school today that a cat keeps it's happiness in it's tail. So, I spent all day and night chasing it until I caught it, and now I'm never letting go!"
The Alleycat sat down and looked at the Kitten very seriously. "I never went to school, so pardon me for saying so, but you don't look very happy."
The Kitten answered, "I'm not! I'm hungry and tired."
"Why don't you let go?" asked the alleycat.
"Because it was hard to catch, and I don't know if I can do it again." snapped the Kitten.
The Alleycat thought about this for a minute. Finally, he asked, "Well, did chasing your happiness make you happy?"
The Kitten looked at the Alleycat like he might be retarted (which is quite a trick when you're biting your own tail!), and retorted, "No. It made me dizzy!"
The Alleycat considered a moment longer and asked again, "And catching it, did catching it make you happy?"
The Kitten was getting quite testy now, and growled, "No, I bit down too hard and it hurt!"
The Alleycat's curiosity was now satisfied, but he asked one more question. "So chasing, catching, and holding on to your happiness is what's making you miserable?" The Kitten was so angry he nearly took a swipe at the Alleycat, until the realization of his predicament overtook him. Suddenly, the self-assured Kitten looked very confused. The Alleycat went on, "Kitten, let it go. Take a nap, and then go hunt some dinner. Your tail will be behind you the whole way, and so happiness will follow you wherever you go; AS LONG AS YOU CAN KEEP YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR BUTT!"

Answer 3

Where is the moment we needed the most You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost They tell me your blue skies fade to gray They tell me your passion's gone away And I don't need no carryin' on You stand in the line just to hit a new low You're faking a smile with the coffee you go You tell me your life's been way off line You're falling to pieces every time And I don't need no carryin' on Because you had a bad day You're taking one down You sing a sad song just to turn it around You say you don't know You tell me don't lie You work at a smile and you go for a ride You had a bad day The camera don't lie You're coming back down and you really don't mind You had a bad day You had a bad day Will you need a blue sky holiday? The point is they laugh at what you say And I don't need no carryin' on You had a bad day You're taking one down You sing a sad song just to turn it around You say you don't know You tell me don't lie You work at a smile and you go for a ride You had a bad day The camera don't lie You're coming back down and you really don't mind You had a bad day (Oooh.. a holiday..) Sometimes the system goes on the blink And the whole thing turns out wrong You might not make it back and you know That you could be well oh that strong And I'm not wrong (yeah...) So where is the passion when you need it the most Oh you and I You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost Cause you had a bad day You're taking one down You sing a sad song just to turn it around You say you don't know You tell me don't lie You work at a smile and you go for a ride You had a bad day You've seen what you like And how does it feel for one more time You had a bad day You had a bad day

Answer 4

Peace and love back at you. Rent a comedy. I recommend anything with Adam Sandler or Bill Murray. Bill Murray's face cracks me up. He doesn't even have to say anything. My fav comedy of all time is "What about Bob," in particular the dinner scene where he keeps moaning and growling, lol. Cheer up and know that you are loved, truly.

Answer 5

Do something different. Dye you hair, go to a drugstore and buy new colors & makeup or stuff for a pedicure. Buy a racey dress. Give your self a facial. Go for some drinks with a good girl friend and plan on what youre gonna wear.
go to www.ebaumsworld.com

Answer 6

by noticing this:

Mafia=IVI a stitched cuts.a

thus the real Mafia happened up on calgary hill.

I STOP I I ARRET I as the sign of the blood bath up on calgary hill of the boy they called TOD or LARRE.

so that senate hearing thing where JOe said what is this Mafia i don't know this Mafia, he wasn't lying. pardon me if i mis quoted

or look at it as M=1000 as in 1000 year seal put on satan by god.
and M=IVI stitched together like in the photo.

so which god put the scars on SATAN? Himself of course. and when it said SATAN ruled the world it meant as a surveyor with Total station equipment and rulers about 6 inches long.

but if his name was Larri and b=a DI stitched together like IIII I . then put that together Larrib=Lamb and SLAIN meant SIL A I IV. Then it would appear that Satan was the Lamb that was SLAIN. and that theory arises after the Millenuim change because the MAN with slashed wrist paid no attention to how it would appear.

so if on Mount ZION is NO 17 notice that was my original birthday.
and thus the thoughts that JESUS might not really be still alive. and the lamp who is the lamb is Me and i say nothing gets up after being dead that long.

don't let the truth bother you though cause WINNIPEG gets its water form shoal lake and people canoe on that lake so if a Lamb pisses in the water t like blood in the water and people wash their clothes white in the water of the lamb. but he ain't the first to despoil the water shed. and god summed up is 7154=17=8=h thus he was in heaven and that n is his one armed grandfather helping him bury his dad when he was five years old. and as god can only be proven over time then check out the caladar for h.

MARCH APRIL MAY and read forward or reverse its the same person. and they might want to murder him. so don't feel so bad you could be Him the one the bible says they hated.

why do they hate god? because some CIA spook or Nazi SPOOK takes his thoughts gives them to you all twisted around and god himself as h is dirt poor. so he can't give you anything except a good laff.

SO in GOD if G with a T you see name TOD and in Death you see TAED as the phonetic translation of what they called Me. as a name that will last as long as god and death. the poor man from FREINDLY MANITOBA who met the WILD ROSE COUNTRY girl of Alberta and it was possibly making others jealous because it could also be story of TOP PROSPECT gone insane. so stealing angels thunder means they hate me and force me to live on social assistance as cut-off, but if angels forsake me let them say the story of the TOP PROSPECT is about WARRIORs of Manitoba and not an angel story at all.

Answer 7

There was a hunter who was at a bar having some drinks talking about how good he is identifing animals so a guy walks up to him and says im going to blind fold you and put fur in front of you and by smelling you have to tell me what it is the guy says ok and he says i can even put my finger where the animal was shot at and tell you what kind of weapon it was killed by, so they blind fold him and put deer hide in front of him he smells and says deer and puts his finger where it had been shot and say 9mm, they keep doing this to him threw out the night and he got everyone right, so he goes home drunk as hell and passes out in bed by his wife, the next morning he wakes up with a black eye so he goes up to his wife and says i didnt fight at the bar did i the wife says no i punched you cause last night you came home stuck your finger in me and sniffed and said skunk killed with an axe.

Answer 8

For one, listen to the song 'Bad Day' by Daniel Powter. That should cheer you up. :)

Second, go out to lunch. Eating out may take your mind off of everything.

Third, think in reality: How bad is your day compared to those in other places in the world? Is it really all that bad?

Answer 9

When I'm depressed I try to think about all the things that I have to be thankful for. Once I do that, and realize how many GOOD things I have going for me, the thing that is depressing me seems pretty small.

Answer 10

so this guy is walking down the street. it's late at night and he walks past a cemetary. all of a sudden he hears 'bang! bang! bang!' behind him. he turs and sees a coffin chasing him!

'aarrrgggg!!!'

so he starts to run but the coffin just thumps even faster behind him. he gets to his house, goes in and slams the door and locks it.

'whew!'

but the he hears the coffin coming full bore up his steps! he runs up his stairs right as the coffin comes crashing throught the door!!! the door on the coffin comes lose so now the coffin is going 'clackity-thump! clackety-thump!' right up the stairs behind him!

the guy locks himself in the bathroom and starts looking for something to defend himself with. just as the coffing comes crashing through the door he puts his hand on a bottle of cough syrup! he throws it at the coffin and the coffin stops.



sorry, i just love that joke! makes me smile every time i tell it.