Four year old niece is obsessed w/ death-has been since she saw her puppy get run over. How can we fix this?

Answer 1

You have to explain the cycle of life and death to her.

Answer 2

Oh My Goodness. Bless her heart! It would be tough on an adult, not to mention a child. Very tragic. I am not a Psychiatrist, but a mother of three, small children, so all I can advise is based on what I would've done. This is just an advise which will hopefully help or at least ease the pain. Your niece seems to be obsessed with death, because this is how her way of mourning. She is dealing with the loss of her "friend". Adults can talk about it and get it eventually out of their chest. Kids on the other hand close themselves. I would recommend sitting down at the table with paper and crayons and asking her where she thinks her little puppy is. To adults that would be just digging in the wound, but for kids it is a kind of acknowledgment that the puppy is gone and everyone hurts for her as well. She needs to know she is not alone in this situation and that death is part of life. I would explain that puppies are born, and some of them live long lives like her granny and some die early like her little angel. I would try drawing a puppy with wings and little halo on a kite. This could be done in front of her or before-hand. It'd be nice if she was encouraged to finish the drawing. Then you could show her that the puppy is flying high with the angels and that he is happy because he can always look down and see his little master wherever she goes. I suspect that your niece may not want to participate, but I think if you treat her like a "grownup" by telling her that this is part of life and feeling sad or hurt is ok, she will eventually respond. I know that the kite thing is a bit out there, but I would definitely invest the time and money in doing that. Kids are very imaginative and for a 4 year old it was a hard lesson to learn so early in her life. I wish you good luck and I can only pray that this little girl manages to come to terms with her loss.

Answer 3

I agree with davehuckleberry. Either you or her parents should sit her down and explain to her what the cycle of life and death is. Don’t ignore this; make it into a learning experience. If you use it as a teaching tool, you can get her talking about how it upset her. Make sure she understands that it isn’t her fault, that her puppy wasn’t bad, and that it wasn’t a punishment. Just getting her a new puppy will not help. If after she is spoken to, she continues the behavior, take her to see a doctor. She is young enough that this could either leave a lifelong mark on her so addressing the issue is important. Try looking for books on the subject. There are children’s books that help a child cope with death.

Answer 4

I think a few sessions with a child therapist would help. That must have been a VERY traumatic thing for her to see, and her little mind isn't capable of dealing with it on her own.

Answer 5

Try to keep her busy and get her to talk about these things; if possible take her to a therapist and get a new dog too. That will also help her to move-on.

Answer 6

Aww.. Thats so sad poor little girl... You should explain to her that god wanted her puppy to come to his life.. And if that don't help take her to a conselor... I wish you luck with her that has to be really hard!!!

Answer 7

ohhh nooo poor little girl try talking to her about it and tell her that the puppy is in heaven and its ok now

Answer 8

It will run it's course - she is just contemplating the concept of death and what it means.

Answer 9

Take her to a head docter before it's to late.

Answer 10

obsessed how is she trying to kill every thing or is she just asking alot of questions if she is trying to kill every thing get professional help now if she is just asking alot of Q's answer them truthfully