My five year old son has recently started this attitude thing. He is constantly mouthing off and is totally rude. He gets angry in a split second. At school he is an angel and I get nothing but good reports, but we aren't even to the car after picking him up and he starts running his mouth. When I punish him he doesn't take it as a readjustment for him, he just yells at me saying I'm a bad mom for disiplining him. I've taken away TV time and favorite toys for periods of time. I try to reason with him what his actions and words really mean. Still no luck. He acts as though he is the boss and that how dare I anger HIM. Is this a common phase for 5 year old boys, or is there some underlining issues I need to deal with for him? Help Help Help!
2006-06-20 07:15:10 · 29 answers · asked by Pamela H 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I sympathize. What has worked for me requires a lot of patience, but it worked incredibly well and relatively quickly. Here's what I did with my mouthy 5-year old son: When he began the attitude, I simply ignored him completely. Pretended he wasn't even there when he was being rude. I would sing happy songs, talk to myself, but not acknowledge him at all. He would continue to be disrespectful for awhile, but I would only answer him and recognize his existence when he asked for something nicely, or was in actual danger. No punishments. It was really hard at first and I got very frustrated sometimes when he would push it with mean comments, but after a few days, he got with the program. Now he's kind and polite all the time, especially to his "princess mom."
The key is to not lose your cool and act like that behavior has absolutely no power. When they get it, the transformation is instant and so far...permanent.
2006-06-20 07:26:52 · answer #1 · answered by lost_irish_75 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think it is common for 5 yr olds (boys anyway - I have no girls) to act up around this time. DId he just start kindergarten? Thats what happened to mine (my theory anyway) when they start kinder. they are exposed to people with different values, for example...in my house stupid is a bad word and my oldest son had probably never heard it before he went to school but after the first week he was saying it all the time. We talked about this and it improved but he still slipped up occasionally and would get a time out. Now for the more serious attitude....His dad spanked him and told him it was not acceptable and any time he acted that way he would be spanked. The next week he was spanked again, he is 13 now and has never had to spanked. Not that he's perfect - lol, but we can take away things he enjoys for smaller infractions than disrespect.
If all else fails, when he starts mouthing off as soon as he gets in the car at school. Pull over in the parking lot and spank him right there in front of everyone. I'm not saying brutally beat him or anything were you would get reported, but embarrass the life out of him.
2006-06-20 11:02:45 · answer #2 · answered by beth l 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children need boundaries which is why he's such an angel at school. Make sure to stand firm when disciplining him otherwise he will see it as a sign of weakness in you and continue to walk all over you. It's also important that once the discipline is over that the fighting or anger on your part ends also. Once his punishment is finished go on like normal. Also trying to reason with a 5 year old is like trying to reason with a brick wall. He isn't capable of fully understanding at that stage they only understand cause and effect. When he is acting properly make sure to reward him and compliment him. Having time for the two of you will also give be able to reaffirm his place in your life. Keep in mind too right now he is a cute little 5 year old... if his behavior isn't changed now he's going to be a bigger, louder and angrier 15 year old!! Not fun! Good luck
2006-06-20 07:26:32 · answer #3 · answered by jenn04201 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes... you need to regain control of your household..and fast. Lesson # one... YOU DONT TRY AND REASON WITH A 5 YEAR OLD!!
You are the mom, the boss, the dictator of your home. Not him. Until you make that clear, he will continue to completly disrespect you. If he yells and says youre a bad mom, say "YUP" Tell him FIRMLY you will no longer tolerate him talking to you like then give him an adequate punishment. Standing in the corner staring at the wall ( now i had to repeat this for months) worked on my son (spnakings didnt) TOUGH LOVE!!!! Break it now, or he will disrespect everyone as he grows up, is that the kind of man you want to raise?
2006-06-20 09:48:03 · answer #4 · answered by kaisergirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well- he is in his growing stage-understand that- he is seeking attention-you take away favorite toys, and tv, is this really helping him? You should sit down and have a talk with him, and let him know that you are going to start a little brownie point system- if he is good, say for a week, he can go to the movies, or go to a pizza place with games- another good thing that he would realize is that if he sees others being rewarded for good behavior, he may throw a fit, but in his mind, he will try to do better. just a suggestion
2006-06-20 07:21:29 · answer #5 · answered by ~*()*~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do nip that in the bud now before he hits the preteen/teen years because from what I've seen it doesn't get any better. Are there established boundaries and rules in your house? Have you discussed them with him and does he know there are consequences for his actions? Better yet do you always follow through with them or do you let him get his way because it's easiest? Raising kids is no walk in the park that's for sure! He sounds very ungrateful and he sounds angry over something, and for some reason Im detecting some guilt on your part. I would probably try to get some family counseling...somebody to help me with my parenting skills and somebody to find out why my son is so angry at 5 years old. Best wishes!
2006-06-20 09:53:47 · answer #6 · answered by dixi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to set limits with him and show him who is in charge. If you promise a punishment, make sure you follow through with it. He also needs to know that you still love him even though he had to be punished. Another suggestion is to ask him if anything is bothering him. If there is something, try to get him to talk. Maybe the school counselor or a therapist might help. GOOD LUCK!!! Hope things work out for you and him.
2006-06-20 08:20:50 · answer #7 · answered by small town girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 5 year old girl and friends with 5 year old boys, and there does seem to be a ratcheting up of defiance around this age. I found a couple of articles on parentcenter.com that have some strategies on dealing with this behavior--which is a great resource if you're not famliar with it. The articles are on defiance and talking back. I hope you find them helpful.
When my daughter talks back, we have a talk about how she needs to show respect and use other words and I try to get at what is really bothering her. Perhaps as a girl, she is more open to talking out her problems.
2006-06-20 07:43:10 · answer #8 · answered by warehaus 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit trying to reason with him. Let him know you are in charge. Don't threaten him with punishment. Let him know for everytime he acts up there will be consequences. Its time to get tough what you have tried hasn't worked. Its clear he thinks he is in charge and until you take charge he will continue to be. Don't give an inch after you start though or you will end up right back where you are!. Good Luck
2006-06-20 07:20:15 · answer #9 · answered by fuzzyfatrabbit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my sons has been doing this lately...he is great in school and at home but all of a sudden, he started talking back and not listening to me...i had to sit down and ask him what was wrong...after i tried taking away his toys, ps2, tv, gameboy, etc..finally when we talked he told me that he thought i didnt love him because i wasnt spending time with him anymore and doing other things so now i sit with him once a day for like 5 mins. and he will read a book or play a card game or something so he knows i love him....once in a while he will act up and ill spank him but not that often anymore..good luck
2006-06-20 08:13:50 · answer #10 · answered by missy524 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋