So why does it seem like personality is lower on the list when it comes to dating.?

Question

I love a woman that can crack me up, cause I can do the same. All through college I only dated really hot girls most of them couldn't even set an alarm clock. Now I want a good looking woman that has a spark about her she's fun. When I meet women it's like How much do you make, where do you work again? What do you drive I'm like don't worry about I bought you some drinks lets talk and chill some more. To me having a a car a job my own place thats expected nothing to be overly proud of.

Answer 1

Having a job and a car SHOULD be expected but you would be surprised how many single men have neither. I don't consider myself shallow but that really is a requirement I expect from men I date. It doesn't have to be a Benz and you don't have to be sporting a big bankroll but I need to know up front you are not going to expect me to support you and haul your nappy a s s everywhere you need to go. I would never expect someone to do that for me. I have a job and a car and a place of my own. After that personality is the most important thing I look for but most women are stuck on looks after that. Looks aren't everything. Sure there should be a physical attraction but for me that comes more from a good personality and sense of humor than physical attributes. The ugliest guy on they outside becomes gorgeous in my eyes if he can make me feel good and keep me smiling and happy.

Answer 2

Personality is top on my list, but it's something I learned, rather than just what WAS. I think that it goes both ways. Men are first and foremost about looks, so women respond in kind. It's a cycle, you want a good looking woman, and some of the women that don't FEEL so good looking (whether they are or not) get the impression from men like you that they're not going to get the decent guys cause they're not good enough. So when they find men, they don't expect love, they expect to have to take what they can get... Then men, yadda yadda yadda... I think you get the point that it's a lot of misconceptions. Open communication is absolutely necessary for successful relationships to get away from all this.

Answer 3

sad fact, but it all comes back to your ability to climb the latter of status in life. Parents aren't yelling at their children to get a good education so they can have a better life for nothing. Personality is very important but the comfort of money is more important. It is better to bank on a sure thing than a fun one. ohh yeah, fact of life. Dating is not just people looking for fun they are looking for security. Oh and by the way, to heck with good looks if you are attracted to each other that is all that matters. Best of luck.

Answer 4

Becuase when your younger, it is all about looks. All women and men in high school are boy/girl crazy and just looken for a trophy gf..when you get older you want more of a companion that you enjoy spending time with...people are shallow..just date a women you would not usually go for and you will be amazed somethimes how will it turns out. My fiancee is someone i thought looked to stuck up and not my type..but i tried anyway cuz people said he was really nice..and bam were getting married. So try it.

Answer 5

Personnally, if I scan a room and see a good looking man being an arrogant idiot or an ugly guy with a bunch of people around him smiling, I'l go for the ugly guy. Money has never mattered to me, or social status. I was offered twice hands in marriage to millionaires. Who am I with? A truck driver who is wonderful. I gotta admit he is pretty hot, though!

The people who are in it for money, status, or looks are missing the boat and will realize maybe when it is too late that life is not about that that, but about love, truth and honesty. I feel sorry for those ones and condone you for being so candid in your question.

Answer 6

u already know the answer to your own question....its the reason you dated those brainless babes in college........

your right having a car, job, and your own place is something that everyone should have...however the reason girls ask that is because A. so few brothers have them B. and/or they are just looking for someone to take care of them

its sad but yea personality is at the bottom of the list nowadays.....

Answer 7

it's cause americans have gotten so lazy that all those things are viewed as either luxury or comoditity so they ask those things. not to mention that you are probably meeting gold diggers. oh and maybe you should change your approach try talking to girls strictly as friends first not on a romantic level. then you'll be able to see the spark. when you talk to girls on a romantic level a switch goes off in our heads that changes our attitude even our voice so if you want something sincere try talking to them first in a friendly way!!!

Answer 8

I feel you randolph on that stuff. The girls in college are F$*&ing beautiful but cant tell their feet from their asses. But theres always someone out there thats real. Us black folk just ain't used to money that's all. Keep looking man, just like you said yourself, it's easy to weed out the junk and once you do that all that's left is a girl worth your time.

Answer 9

People right now are all into the looks and status especially in Southern California. It will take some work, but you can weed out the "groupies" and find a real women.

Good luck

Answer 10

Folks don't seem to give a damn about the perception of personality when dating. They only give a crap about facial appearance. I will admit being cute does play a role in male/female attraction (vice versa). But, personality represents the individual spirit which usually tells everything their is to know about someone agree?