Japanese manners?

Question

Is it true that Japan is supposed to have the best manners on the planet. I currently have two exchange students from Japan in my house and they seem to have the worst manners ever. The eight year old I babysit even has better manners than them. They stay up really late making a lot of noise so everyone in the house can't sleep. They use the products in the bathroom that are there for decor. They don't just use them, they destroy them. They eat like they've never eaten before. No matter how much food I by, within a day it is all gone. They keep doing things even after I tell them "no." To make it worse they consistantly lie to me to get what they want. They are both 20 years old. Does anyone have an explaination.

I can't send them home. I have a contract with the agency that put them in my home that thye would stay for a certain amount of time.

Answer 1

Sounds like Japan figured out the easiest way to have "good manners" at home: deport your slobs to the US.

Answer 2

In many cases the time when Japanese students come to college is the first taste they have of "freedom", if you will. They have to study very hard to pass the exams, but once they're in college, they can relax a bit. Chances are they're just learning how to live away from home, and need a little bit of a chance to grow up.

If you think their English comprehension is good enough, I think you could sit down and have a chat with them or, even better, write them an e-mail to let them know what your house rules are. (In my experience as an ESL teacher, many times people will act like they are understanding you for politeness, when they really don't. An e-mail would be easier to digest because they can take their time.) It's possible that they might not realize about the decorative soaps, for example, and I suspect that they would respect a curfew or something like that. If you continue to have problems, contact the agency who set you up with these students and see what they can do about it.

I'm so sorry that you've had this experience. I certainly hope it doesn't put you off from interacting with people of other cultures. I know some very nice Japanese people.

Answer 3

At the risk of sounding like I'm promoting stereotypes, by and large the people of Japan are exceedingly polite and courteous. There's a very simple reason for this. They are so crammed in over there in that tiny island of theirs, if they WEREN'T polite with each other, there would be a LOT of homicides.
There's what, 20 million people living JUST in Tokyo? They have public servants who work in the subways and their only duty is to push as many people into a subway train as is humanly possible. They have made accomodations because there are just too many people for the space allotted.
Your Japanese exchange students may be obnoxious, but I wonder if it's a case of, "WOW look at all this SPACE! Let's go NUTS!" kinda thing... no idea really just trying to see it from their point of view. Their behavior in your home is, to them, as rebellious as kids here pinching their dad's car or getting drunk for the first time.
That having been said, contract or not, you do not have to put up with that sort of behavior. Lay it on the line to them: "Shape up and act more considerately or out the damn door you go." If they don't shape up, let the Exchange people know this is not working out. Or would you rather wait til they assault you or your family? That is YOUR home if they can't abide by YOUR rules they need to go.
I'm sure it's also in the contract that these two delinquents are to act and behave responsibly

Answer 4

Like many before me, you can't judge people by the stereotypes that we hear. Yours is a clear cut example that the stereotype is a lie. I would be very concerned about a contract signed without some clear cut rules that these houseguests must abide. Especially if they are 20 years old! These are grownups. There is no excuse for their abuse and disruption of your home. First, I would contact the agency and advise you are having this problem. Second, I would sit these two down and make them understand the rules in the house. Give them guidelines and boundaries. If your home is being destroyed and your sanity and peace is at risk, I would not care if the contract was written in blood - no agency can MAKE disruptive people stay in your home. Don't sit by and let them destroy your family and home. Do something about it. Good luck..

Answer 5

I've witnessed this among the younger generation of Japanese. It's no doubt some Western influence.
The worst I ever witnessed was a group of teens from Japan, during a visit to Pearl, on the Arizona.

The military guards had to stop their rudness on this Memorial.
I also witnessed teens from Japan, in London. They pushed everyone aside to enter a lift.
I refrain to color them all with the same brush. It may be their family wealth. I've seen that influence the thinking that, "I am better than others".

Answer 6

There is no excuse for anyone to treat your home with such disrespect. We're they raised by animals? Send them back home and let their parents deal with them. I'm Japanese, but I have never heard that Japanese have the best manners on the planet.

To quote Depeche Mode, "people are people". There are those who are courteous and respect each other, then there are those who just want to do whatever they feel without thinking of others. It's in every culture. I think it greatly depends on upbringing.

Answer 7

i'd be off base. i'm jap American, although I actually have worked with jap and nevertheless dangle out with some. in case you undergo in thoughts Amaeru and Enryo, verify with your mothers and fathers about this also. Amaeru is taking earnings of someone kindness or hospitality, do not attempt this. Enryo is the different, protecting again. eating out, do not order some thing too intense priced no matter if inspired. in case you're invited out then be humble and experience what the host orders for you. because you're a teenager, continuously defer to the elders. you probable attempt this now besides. So eating at a persons' domicile eat what's served no matter if you don't like it. you would deliver some thing to percentage with them, sweet or manju or culmination. Bringing a consumer, no longer effective. Out of courtesy, because you're a consumer, base it on who your host is, their economic project, how large their domicile is etc. proper communique, in case you undergo in thoughts your honorifics on your elders. do not use baby words on your relations except instructed to succeed in this. using "chan" could be minimized. better appropriate to be proper and be corrected for that. Than use baby words for individuals and get frowned upon. reliable success and performance exciting.

Answer 8

Don't judge people by using sterotypes.

Exhibit A: I was a cheerleader for five years. I'm not tall, leggy, busty, blonde, or superficial as TV usually portrays them.

Start by setting rules. If they're abusing the Internet, restrict them from using it, or use parental control software to control and monitor what sites they use and/or how they use them.

If they're watching too much TV, again, use the Parental Control setting. Regulate their meal portions. They may be legal adults, but if treating them like like five-year-olds will get them to behave, do it.

They might be embarrased enough to do as their told.

Answer 9

Just like any other culture there are good people and bad people. Just because the majority of Japanese people tend to be polite this does not mean that these 2, who are obviously good friends and buddy up together are going to be considerate. They are being very rude and causing your household to be upset..your doing them a favor. I would ask them to leave if they cant respect your way of living. Good Luck.

Answer 10

I've met some pretty rude Japanese, as well as...
domineering Arab women,
soft spoken Latinos,
sloppy Germans,
unemotional Italians,
Asians who suck at math,
Jews that love to spend,
black haired Swedes

If we expect people to act a certain way, we won't be happy.
People are people, wherever you go.