i can't find the words to let my daugter know her best friend just passed away in a car accident can anyone help me find the words so she can understand life and death?
2006-06-20 04:40:11 · 33 answers · asked by montanamom 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
i can't tell her that she moved because they lived next door to us. and no she never had a pet that died but her older sister did and she knew about it.
2006-06-20 05:02:03 · update #1
Wow, that is a tough one, I don't know what to tell you, but I was watching the Lion King last night with my son, and I think you could use that movie as a learning staple, My mom died when I was 13 and I worry so much something will happen to me or my son, but watching that movie made me think, (first time I have seen it as an adult) I thought, wow, this movie is really good for the concept of death, especially the part where Mufasa tells simba about how "all the great kings of the past look down on us from the stars" it can work for friends too. Good luck!
2006-06-20 04:44:38 · answer #1 · answered by #3 Due December 25th!! 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just thinking about this makes me want to cry. I'm so sorry you and your daughter are faced with this...and my heart is with you and the family of the little girl who passed.
You mentioned your older child had a pet that died, and she knew that it happened. Maybe you could try using her experience and relate it. Just tell your little one that there was an accident, and that her friend was hurt very bad. It will be hard for her to understand....but telling the truth is always best. Use your beliefs. If you believe in Heaven and God, by all means incorperate that in. She's in a better place...she is taking care of your older daughter's pet that she lost...she is with (someone else that has passed away).....she is someone else's little angel now.....
One question for you...did the little girl's parents survive? You may have to explain how their daughter doesn't live with them anymore....because your daughter will see them (if they are next door neighbors) and wonder where she is.
Best of luck breaking the news. Again, I am so sorry to hear of the accident. Please take care of yourself...
2006-06-20 05:23:11 · answer #2 · answered by geminiparody4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
does your daughter know what heaven is? If she does, you could just tell her, that there was an accident and her best friend went to heaven. Or you could tell her that her best friend moved away if she doesn't understand what heaven is. This would be a very difficult thing to do, cause either way her heart is broken. I hope she understands what heaven is. I think that would be the easiest way, also fair for her to know the truth. Let her know that her friend will always be in her heart.
2006-06-20 04:45:27 · answer #3 · answered by tricksy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is kind of a tough one. But she will notice that she's not around, and eventually she would ask where he/she was. Just let her know something bad happened and she won't be seeing her anymore. If she asks WHAT happened, just tell her she had an accident. You will find the words to tell her. She might not understand the concept of death but she will definitely know what it means when she can't see her friend anymore. Good luck.
2006-06-20 04:46:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy, that's a tough one. I'm very sorry for your loss.
My daughter is also 5 and is actively interested in religion. We read from her bible every night, go to church and sunday school every week, and she asks a ton of questions about God lately. I would approach it from that point of view, saying that although we are all very sad and will miss her very much, God needed her to come to heaven to be with him. We would say a special prayer for her, as well. I don't think at this age they truly "get it", so be prepared to answer the question "Where is she?" or "When is she coming back?" a number of times in the near future. Good luck to you, I can't even imagine how hard that must be.
2006-06-22 01:41:19 · answer #5 · answered by Quilt4Rose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i guesss that depends on how mature she is for her age... does she already understand about what death is? if so then just sit her down and tell her as gently as u can and be ready for whatever response she might throw at you from shutting down to crying hysterically... if not then has she ever had a pet that has died? or another relative? Tell her she was needed to be someones angel so she had to go and even though she may not see her anymore, her friend will always be with her... hope this helps.. its what I would do anyway fo rmy daughter...
2006-06-20 04:44:59 · answer #6 · answered by tuswecawin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This would all depend on how mature you feel she is and what you have taught her so far about life and death. I would reccomend contacting her Dr. and explaining the situation, they could refer you to someone who can help you explain the situation to her in a way that you both feel would be the best way for her to deal with it. They can also let you know any warning signs that may signal that she is not dealing with the news well and that she may need someone to talk to to help her get through this difficult time. This is something that you will want professional input on, since what may be right for one 5 year old may not be right for another...you will also want to know that there are resources there for her should she need them and to have them available to her as soon as possible if needed. I wish you the best and my heart goes out to you and your family.
2006-06-20 06:14:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maria Shriver wrote a great book,Where did grandma go? you could use this as a stepping stone for your talk with your daughter. as mentioned before,Disney"The Lion king" did an awesome job explaining death,I used this for my son when grandma died,he was 6,I also made him a part of the funneral,he went to wake and memorial service. I am so sorry your daughter has lost a friend,my prayers are with you,robin
2006-06-26 19:04:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
'Tell her about heaven, when someone dies that's where they go. Then explain what happen, she will be very upset, Let her know how much you love her. You might think about taking her to funeral. I took my little girl and told her they were a sleep, that they were in heaven now. She is 4. This is a part of life, it is hard, but we need to explane this to them to help them understand. Just be there for her God bless all of you.
2006-06-20 05:37:42 · answer #9 · answered by Just me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
boy that's a tough one. i dont think death is ever easy for any age. my grandson was 3 when his nanna died. he would see her all the time and new that she was sick. when she did pass we told him that she went to heaven to be an angel. now almost a year and a half later he swings on his swingset and always tells us that he is swinging up to nanna. he has never forgotten her for being a three year old when she passed. he sees her in pictures all the time around are house and often stops to look at her. dont be suprised in how well she may deal with it. i am sorry for her loss and good luck to both of you.
2006-06-21 22:47:28 · answer #10 · answered by JAYNE C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋