I dated this guy 10 years ago. We broke up and never spoke again. He just died Sunday at a young age. I don't know how his family would react if I went.
2006-06-20 04:28:57 · 30 answers · asked by Halo 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
If you feel drawn to go, that's what matters. Death has a way of making things real, and if you still have a place in your heart for him, I would say it's right to honor that place and attend the funeral. Probably it's a good idea to do so discreetly, as anonymously as possible, unless a graceful opportunity presents itself for interaction with the family, at their initiative. Otherwise, it's between you and your memory of him, a private goodbye.
2006-06-20 04:35:39 · answer #1 · answered by Len E 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If you can discretely show up and pay respects without causing discomfort then you should do so.
If you know anyone that knows the family you might want to put out feelers about your attendance.
If you are at all unsure of their reaction to you based upon the circumstances of the breakup, you may consider sending flowers, or a donation to an organization that your ex was passionate about or appropriate to the cause of death. Sometimes parents will set up a memorial fund, so you might want to contribute to that. You can send a tasteful sympathy card.
Funerals are not for the dead, but for the living to resolve their grief. Make sure you allow yourself to grieve even though you parted under difficult circumstances. He was a part of your life and there is real loss. Honor it and find peace.
2006-06-20 06:36:43 · answer #2 · answered by Denise C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course, it would be okay for you to attend the funeral of an ex-boyfriend. There will be many people that come to the funeral, and you can just quietly sit in the back and pay your respects.
2006-06-20 04:42:56 · answer #3 · answered by imstillsandy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely say yes.
One of the best things about a funeral is it shows everyone just how many lives that one person touched. That's the purpose of a funeral: to celebrate the person's life, not their death.
Go.
2006-06-20 04:36:45 · answer #4 · answered by asterisk_dot_asterisk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The general rule is, if you feel the need to go, you should go. I doubt it will disrupt the family or cause anyone any additional grief. Show up, pay your respects, and leave when you have done so. Don't make a big production of it...it's not a show.
2006-06-20 04:34:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A funeral is for the people that have been left behind. So if you respect and care for his family, go offer your condolences. If not, don't go. Unless you need some closure.
2006-06-20 05:45:21 · answer #6 · answered by LoAnnie81 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's an issue of respect....
Even if you didn't speak after you broke up, it's still a way of showing respect to him and to his family.
If it were me, I'd go.
I'm sorry to hear about it.
2006-06-20 07:22:30 · answer #7 · answered by sylvia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you're pretty sure that the parents would be stressed out by your presence, it's you're right to go; but I'm not an expert on these things.
2006-06-20 04:32:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you feel you need to go you go so that you could pay respect , maybe that will be a sort of comfort for there family too.\ if the relationship between them and you are not affected with this breakup.
2006-06-20 04:32:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to see the family, go just after visiting hours to say good bye
2006-06-20 04:45:51 · answer #10 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋