Iv'e been dating a guy (the love of my life) for two and a half years now. A few months ago he started changing completely. He's lost alot of weight, he has the most outragous mood swings and if I ask him whats going on he gets angry & yells and walks out on me. He gets annoid if I phone him and he's always angry at me, mostly for stupid little things that happened a LONG time ago. I love him with all of my heart and I'll do anything for him. Does any one know what I could do to win him back or atleast give me an idea as to why his treating me this way? My life depends on this, so please make it a good one.
2006-06-20 04:14:31 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First off, your life doesn't depend on him. You are a wonderful person with a wonderful life with or without this guy. You may love him but obviously he doesn't love you or respect you. You deserve better in your life. You deserve to be with someone who treasures you and respects you instead of treating you bad. Instead of trying to do anything to get him back you should stand up for yourself and demand to either be treated with love and respect by him or send him packing. No one no matter how much you love them has a right to treat you badly.
2006-06-20 04:25:32 · answer #1 · answered by rkrell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear. These behavioral signs signify trouble is ahead. Unfortunately, many of your guy's behaviors are indicators that he may be being unfaithful to you. There's only one solution for this 911 situation - you have to get him to sit down and talk to you. Don't yell at him, don't accuse him of anything. Try to use "I" instead of "You". For example, don't say "You don't want to talk to me anymore," instead, give him a less threatening approach: "I feel like I'm a little abandoned here. What's going on?" If he gets angry, yells, or walks out on you, then perhaps he's not willing to fight very hard for the relationship. I know it's painful to hear that, but he isn't giving you the respect you deserve by refusing to listen to you.
On the other hand, many of these signs he's exhibiting (weight loss, mood swings, anger problems) can be signs of drug abuse. Either way, if you have any hope of saving the relationship, it seems it falls a lot on his shoulders. However, the easiest solution is if he isn't treating you right, then find someone who will. The most important thing you need to take care of in your relationship is you.
2006-06-20 11:23:45 · answer #2 · answered by bibliophile_1976 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Several things
First, don't look at this as "winning him back," he's not a trophy, fromyour description it sounds likeyou already asked him what was wrong, and he doesn't want to tell you yet
Sojust tell him that you'll be there for him when he wants to talk, no matter what it is, and give him some space from the issue, maybe the problem has to do with you, maybe it doesn't, but ifyou don't give him the space to try to work things out and make sure he knows you're there forhim, things will only get worse
2006-06-20 11:22:43 · answer #3 · answered by Ace A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are three major scenarios here.
1) He is cheating on you - The less likely reason, as he would probably be guilt ridden if he was cheating on you and his behaviour pattern would be quite different.
2) He is terribly stressed at work or by life in general and you are not making things easier for him. He might feel (unfailry) that you ar partly to blame for his troubles for one reason or another, or that you aren't helping. - A more likely reason, although you'd probably have noticed this yourself, so if you didn't either you don't know your man or you are too self-absorbed. But usually, in this scenario the man tend to get withdrawn and goes into a shell so we can't really bank on it.
3) Could you have lied to him and he found out? Could have rumours about you have reached him? Or perhaps he feels that you are lying to him about something. That might explain the anger and yelling and walking off. He's probably pissed but doesn't know how to go about it. It might have something to do with those things from "Long ago" that you didn't explain on. Your man probably feels that he put his heart out there and you are playing with his head or something. I think it's a trust thing. He doesn't trust you anymore and he can't bring himself ot leave you so he is torn and angry with himself and you at the same time.
You better find a way to bond with him in a way to regain that level of trust and closeness that is a must for any relationship to work. Whatever you do, in this situation, playing it coy will get you nowhere. It will probably just get him more pissed and make him resent you even more.
It doesn't sound to me like he's cheating yet, but in time as he completely withdraws emotionally from you, he might seek solace in the arms of another.
Good luck.
2006-06-20 12:14:49 · answer #4 · answered by Cain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably bi-polar meaning he can't control his emotions...or something is really bothering him. Sit down and talk to him. Go out to dinner, and ask him what is wrong. Tell him that you love him and that you would do anything for him. If he loves you, he will take heed, and listen and hopefully will respond to you. You have alot of love and patience for your man. Your concern for him as a individual and as a man will emphasize the love that you have for him. You show your concern, distress and anxiety and he will know that you care for him and want him to be happy. as long as you know in your heart that he is not that type of person, do everything you can. But dont overwhelm yourself. If you need help, ask. There is nothing wrong with that.
I wish all the best of luck to you and you man.
2006-06-20 11:54:04 · answer #5 · answered by nyc_ladydragonsamauri007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Coming from a guy, it sounds like he's not happy about something. Do you live together? If so, there is a saying, why buy the cow when the milk is for free! So look at your situation and try to go from there. "My old man you to always tell me before he left this sh*#@y world, never chase after buses or women...you always get left behind." Marlboro Man. Good luck and I hope you two communicate and get to the root of the problem.
2006-06-20 11:22:56 · answer #6 · answered by TheShield 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I think your dealing with someone taking some form of drugs...hes after losing weight and his mood swings for no reason are the main obvious reason...get out when you can cos the same thing has hapnd to me b4 and it didn't end well AT ALL.
2006-06-20 11:23:26 · answer #7 · answered by rainbow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The extreme weight loss and intense mood swings are strong signs that he's become addicted to drugs, very likely Methamphetamines. here's a website with information that may help you reach a conclusion. If he is indeed on meth, you need to get him into rehab right away. Sadly, a very small percent of meth addicts ever recover.
2006-06-20 11:25:26 · answer #8 · answered by jc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant do anything to win him back because it is his problem not yours. If you have asked what is wrong and tried to understand him that is all you can do. I was in a similar dillema and the more I kept trying to do things right the more he pushed away. I would back off and see what happens. If he does decide to leave you I know it would be heartbreaking but aleast it is his loss and your gain.
2006-06-20 11:21:24 · answer #9 · answered by Britt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he on drugs?
Is he suffering from depression?
The best thing you might be able to do for him is give him a break (meaning out of his life for a while.) The phrase "I'll do anything for him" is scary. Keep your soul, girl. Do not tolerate him treating you this way.
Best of luck.
2006-06-20 11:20:20 · answer #10 · answered by Simply_Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋