How do I tell my 5yr he cant see his dad because he has a drug problem?

Question

HE ASKS ME EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE ABOUT HIS DAD AND WHY HE CANT SEE HIM. HIS FATHER HAS A SERIOUS DRUG PROBLEM AND IS NOT ALLOWED TO SEE HIM. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS TO HIM??

Answer 1

Simply put, Daddy is sick. Beacause after all, drug addiction is a disease, so you're not lying to him, however at 5 years old the less complicated the answer, the less likely you'll have to explain further today. You can then fill in the blanks thru the years as he gets older and more able to comprehend these things.

Answer 2

I am a single Father, going through the exact same thing. The was I've found to deal with it is to just answer the questions that he asks. Instead of saying that he has a drug problem for now, say that he has some problems with which he needs some help. Tell him that until he wants to get better, and makes some changes to make himself better, that it is best if we just let him live his life. Don't bad-mouth him, though, because that will only cause resentment later. remember, kids will forgive very easily since their minds are still innocent, and they don't yet understand how to hold a grudge. Time is the great healer, and if his dad wants to have a part of his life, he will make whatever changes he needs to. Believe me, my ex is really trying very hard now after a year of being alone.

Answer 3

First I would not SAY your Dad has a drug problem to him. I would say he has problems and he wants to see you but, he can't right now. I am a recovering ADDICT I have children. I remember my mom telling my 8 year old that I was on meds because I had a drug problem "i was on methadone". At age 8 I did not think she was old enough to understand the TOTAL concept of drug addiction. I would explain to your son WHEN he is OLDER that his father made bad choices and he got sick and addicted to drugs. I know first hand how crappy this situation is. My daughters dad is not a ADDICT he has not seen her sent support or a birthday card in 2 years. Yea I was a addict BUT, I never abondon my kids the way he did. SHE ask about her dad I wish it was as ez as saying he has a drug problem. His real problem is he's selfish and a coward and choses not to be a Father that's not what i'ld tell her EVER thou.

Answer 4

A 5-year-old needs to hear some logic about the situation that will not confuse later thinking and feeling. Explain that some illnesses affect the body more (like colds, flu, and tummy upsets) and some affect the mind and our choices more. Explain that his father has an illness that affects his mind and his choices. Because his dad's illness causes him to make very bad choices, it's important to wait until dad heals before his son can visit him. You might want to add that dad's kind of illness usually takes a very long time to heal. It's very important to note the difference between the two kinds of illness, or your son may think that all illness means you must stay away. That could cause him a lot of fear in the future when he or you catch a cold or any other simple illness.

Answer 5

just tell him his/her dads sick or somthing dont bring up drugs to a 5yr old though expiesialy involving the father. what if this kids dad ended up overcoming his addiction and str8ning out and his kid ended up hating him cause you told him that. if any body should say anything about drugs it should be the father. just stick to hes not well or hes sick or daddys got a problem(leaving out the word "drug" before problem). but all in all its your kid so make your own decision in the end and good luck.

Answer 6

Well at 5 you could start telling him about drugs but he may not understand, so just tell him that he is very ill but hopefully when and if he gets better the two of them can see each other (or more of each other). I think your concern is wonderful, it shows allot of love and compassion. Be honest with your child, his father does have a sickness but telling him exactly what kind at this time may not make sense. Good luck, and good job!

Answer 7

you could tell him that his father isn't well enough to look after him at the moment.

and or that he is away too

but whatever you decide to give as an explaination - STICK WITH IT and encourage other adult family members to offer a similar story to him too so that he doesnt get confused

a shame tho that he isn't allowed any contact with his son even under strict supervision - but i am sure that you are doing a good job - the fact that you are concerned enough to ask questions like this shows what a caring parent you are who wants the best for your child

Answer 8

You need to find a simple way to word the truth. If you don't tell him he will probably think it's because his father does not love him. If you have trouble figuring out how to word it, talk to his kindergarten or pre-school teacher, or perhaps his pediatrician. He may need counseling too. We had to do this with my step-daughter when she was about his age and the mother split. She is now a healthy, well-adjusted teenager who is very active in school groups telling kids not to do drugs. Her mom died of liver disease three years ago.

Answer 9

Yes I agree, tell your son that his father is sick, I guess you will need to be careful how you tell him as he may be alarmed by this and it could make him worry. You are doing the right thing by protecting your son from his father. Preventing a bad influence and bad experiences is an important part of looking out for your child's best interest.

Answer 10

Just tell him daddy is very sick and it is not safe to be with him until he is healthy...I know it is hard to tell a 5 yr old they cant see their daddy but try to make sure he knows it is because of daddy's sickness and not because mommy just doesnt want him to as time goes and he gets older you can go more in depth on his fathers condition but right now dont allow he perception of his dad to be altered just allow him to believe that daddy is very sick and to have the doctors help him before he can see him again...trust me kids are more perceptive them they appear...Good Luck...Always make sure he knows that daddy loves him very much..