i have been with my boyfriend for three years and so far he hasnt mentioned anything about moving in together or getting married one day. I have asked him if he ever would but he always gives the same answer...he doesnt know. I need some sort of answer which tells me if itl be in two years or ten cos then i can move on with my life but he keeps sayin he loves me but he doesnt know when or if he will. Im 27 and hes 23 so maybe its the age difference. Please help!
2006-06-20 02:56:31 · 18 answers · asked by misty 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It might be that it's because of he's 23. But you have been together for three years - so I don't think that it's age difference. Might it be that he doesn't wish to get married or move in but you please him and he doesn't wish to leave you. I think you should tell him openly how you feel about marriage and family..tell him that it's very important for you to know now if he has any intention of being married to you in the future.. if he says "I don't know" again, you could move on with your life. Because "I don't know" is also an answer..
2006-06-20 03:27:17 · answer #1 · answered by Psychologist 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well first off, you really don't want to have him move in with you. When you move in with someone is when you really see how they are. The pros and cons, so the question is are you ready for that? Then you don't want to give him all the benefits of married life because then he will have no reason to marry you. If your a live-in girlfriend it's almost the same as being married. Maybe you should just sit down with him and have a heart to heart. Find out what his long term goals are for the relationship. Seeing as how he's only 23 he probably doesn't have the same views on relationships as you do.
2006-06-20 10:07:09 · answer #2 · answered by Shya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The age difference could be a major factor. Remember what they say about girls maturing faster than boys? In general, it's true. You might be better off with someone who is 33 as opposed to someone who is 23. You should probably honestly sit down & tell him how you feel, & that you need to know if you are wasting your time or not, & if he can't give you a straight answer, then it might be best if you started playing the field again & weigh your options. If the relationship has become stagnant but neither of you wants to break up, backpeddling to dating nonexclusively may be the best option. That way, you can see what else is out there, & decide if you want to be married to him, or just want to be married. If he's going to leave you hanging, he shouldn't mind letting you weigh your options.
2006-06-20 10:06:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be into you, but not enough to take that step. He's also a bit young to be seriously looking at moving in and having marriage conversations. What's the rush anyway.
Think of you at 23......would you have jumped to moving in with a 27 year old boyfriend? (actually, maybe most 23 year old women would!?!)
Also, if you had a 23 year old brother or cousin who's 27 year old girlfriend wanted him to move in with her and talk about getting married in the future, what advice would you give him??
Ultimately, I think that you need a boyfriend that 4 or 5+ years older than you.
2006-06-20 10:03:30 · answer #4 · answered by Zane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though there are exceptions...men take a while to settle down. Your problem obviously is not particularly the difference in age, but ur ages. You are a woman of 27 it's natural for u to be thinking about any kind of commitment right now. But at 23, HE just might not be ready.
The decision is urs. U could opt to let go and move on, or hang in there and wait.
The things we have to do for love....it's always a risk.
2006-06-20 10:36:00 · answer #5 · answered by cookie_recipe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The age difference could be part of it, and then again maybe he is not truly ready for that kind of commitment. He maybe love you like he says he does, but that doesn't mean that just because he loves you he has to move in. I understand that you may want to take the relationship another step, but the both of you is gonna have to want that.
And if he is moving to slow then move on, but at the same time have patience to. Don't loose a good thing because you didn't want to wait.
2006-06-20 10:42:22 · answer #6 · answered by ronce_1118 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From experience it is definetly the age. guys that young dont know what they want to do... esp at 23 he is probably still exploring his options. not to say that he is out there cheating on you but hes so young and he really doesnt know.
I would suggest taking some time away from him a see a guy that is closer to your age or older, you will definetly see the difference, esp if you find a guy that doesnt have any kids and never been married, you will find someone that has needs and wants that closely match yours.
2006-06-20 10:05:14 · answer #7 · answered by sweetesttiger2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is the age difference. Guy at 23 is still really just a kid, while you at 27 are a ticking time bomb woman. He still sees his whole life in front of him, and you are seeing the end.
My advice, be totally up front with him. Tell him exactly what you want, and when you want it. Then give him a deadline to respond.
2006-06-20 10:03:03 · answer #8 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 3 years he should know if he can see the two of you getting married/living together if he doesn't know then the answer is no this is all it is ever going to be.
It sounds to me like you are not the one he is going to settle down with you are not his Miss Right but his Miss Right Now he was just doesn't want to lose the available sex on demand by saying no.
Move on.
2006-06-20 10:10:53 · answer #9 · answered by madamspud169 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's still too immature to make big commitments. If its been 3 years and he still doesn't know, you need to move on. I assume you want kids? Better to find a new guy and get those wedding plans in 2 years than be with this guy for another 2 years and still be in a holding pattern.
2006-06-20 10:03:40 · answer #10 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋