I am a 43 year old woman and my b/f is 32. I have 2 daughters from a previous marraige, but he has none. Am i been selfish and robbing him of a chance of having kids?
2006-06-20 02:05:52 · 37 answers · asked by aussie apple 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Does he want to have kids?
The kids question is one of the important things for couples to work out before marriage. You need to sit down and talk to him to find out how he feels.
If he doesn't want kids - then selfish has nothing to do with it. You are on the same page. If he wants to have kids - the two of you have some difficult decisions to make. He would either have to decide that being with you is far more important than having kids of his own or you would have to decide that you are willing to try and have more children.
You are sharing two beautiful daughters with him. That's not selfish at all.
2006-06-20 02:09:49 · answer #1 · answered by Tamborine 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you are not being selfish. I am 52 and my boyfriend is 48. I have 2 daughters, who are on their own and 1 son still at home by previous marriages. It was my boyfriends choice not to have kids. He loves my children and my grandchildren, he says that all he needs. If your boyfriend wants to have kids and you are not fixed, you can still have children. I knew a 56 year old woman who had twins. Discuss this situation with your boyfriend. He maybe just satisfied with the family you have. You seem to have a caring man who likes/loves you just the way you are with children. Men like that are hard to find these days.
Good luck with your relationship.
2006-06-20 02:36:11 · answer #2 · answered by Dottie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to a doctor and see what he thinks about becoming a mother again at your age(not that you are old but our bodies change, no kidding). Has your boyfriend ever brought the subject up and what does he say.How commited is your relationship? I'm sorry to even mention it but sometimes things change.Would you want to raise a baby alone if he should leave.Perhaps he is content to be a father to your children?We can only give you food for thought but make sure you talk it over. There are a lot of questions you both need to discuss with each other. It has to be a decision you both make.
2006-06-20 02:12:30 · answer #3 · answered by gussie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is in a relationship with an older woman that already has a family. It isn't fair of him to expect you to take health risks of having another baby at this age (not that your are over the hill, but it is risky for mother and baby after 36, high risk of complications and birth defects).
For you to start over with a newborn now would mean a set back in your career, and are you willing to be 61 years old at the new baby's high school graduation?
No, you aren't selfish.
If he is really set on being a father, he should find someone his own age or younger to be with. But as it stands he loves you and accepts you and your ready made family.
Don't stress about it! You know what is best *for you*! Let him worry about what is best for him!
2006-06-20 02:13:34 · answer #4 · answered by Jewels 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he wants kids and you are happy with the ones you've got..
Look it's up to you because you are the one that caries them for 9 months then again you are in love with this guy and you want to forfill his every dream as a wife..
Personally I say give the man you love a child.
Simply wishing you the best of luck,
Garry
2006-06-20 02:21:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, they say that the risks of pregnancy is higher at later stages of life so I understand you have reason for concern. I'd say it was only selfish if you refused to discuss it with him, you may find that he's happy the way things are. If not, there are many alternatives. But if he loves you for you, then he should accept you as you are.
All I can say is voice your concerns.
2006-06-20 02:12:37 · answer #6 · answered by Clueless 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. At this stage if you become pregnant it will be dangerous for your health moreover your elderly 2 daughters may not approve it. Even It seems that your boy friend is not complaining then why do you worry? Enjoy your life.
2006-06-20 02:10:55 · answer #7 · answered by Bolan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is still your body. You do not have to have any more children if you don't want to. I don't think the children NEED TO be his biologically. If he loves you, he'll know the kids are still part of you. To hell with that male ego crap about the kids being part of another man. They are ALSO part of YOU! If he loves you, he can love them.
NO YOU ARE NOT SELFISH!
2006-06-20 02:15:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only if you did not come clean when you met this guy. Put yourself in his position for a minute and see how you would feel.
Seriously, talk it over with him, let him know that you understand and will respect whatever he feels and go from there.
2006-06-20 02:24:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so. If he wanted kids when he got with you he might have thought about adopting your kids or thought he could have kids with you. Which is more than likely possible. Miracles happen every day.
2006-06-20 02:12:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋