How do you find a man that is sincere and honest? How do you trust him when you have been used by so many?

Question

So many times I thought I found the man of my dreams only to be tossed aside like an old shoe. Is it me? Is it them? Honesty and trust is important to me. I wear my heart out on my sleeve, so it's easily hurt. Am I suppose to call the man often, is that a sign he is looking for? Is that important to a man, does it show interest? If so, why? When you say "no" to sex on the first date, does that effect the relationship? Does he think I am a prude or have ice water running through my veins? So many questions, and at 50, so little time!

Answer 1

If you meet a man that is nice.And YOU want to date him just take EVERYTHING slow.So this way you won't get hurt.

Answer 2

First we need to realize that there is no "perfect" person of any gender. There are compatible people though.
Perhaps you are winding up with the same personality over and over again.
Often, people look for other's to "complete" themselves. This is a mistake. We must try to complete ourselves while being with another person who is also trying to do the same thing.
It's a journey of self-discovery that often hurts pretty bad, but this too, gives us new pieces of the puzzle of ourselves.
As for the other questions: Don't call a lot, no one wants to have a phone attached to their body while they try to go about their day 24-7. Call once a day. No more. This, only when you've been seeing each other for a bit.
Not having sex on the first date is not a bad thing. You do what you feel comfortable with and if the other person isn't comfortable with your decision, then obviously they weren't someone with whom you can be comfortable.
It all comes down to this: Be yourself, truly yourself, and if you find someone who can be themselves while you're being yourself, then you've found compatibility.
Being 50 doesn't make it a rush, we often live to 100 these days, so you've got plenty of time.
Also, everyone lies occasionally. Don't make one dishonesty a game-breaker or your games will always be broken. Trust and truth come over a long time in a relationship. Overlook little things and concentrate on the bigger picture.
You're not a shoe to be worn. Think of yourself as the active partner. Find what YOU want, quit trying to find what THEY want.

Answer 3

Learn from past mistakes. I believe a common flaw many people posses is to pigeonhole our "wants" , without really knowing the chartacteristics of what we want. Honest, sincere are good wants, but clearly if you have been burned before, you are missing something negative about the person(s) you end up with and or confuse sincerity and honesty with their flaws. I have found if you want someone honest - be honest to them and make sure they know how important that is. Sincerity is perception, in my book - because we dont know how "unsincere" anyone is until after the fact. Personally, at 33 I met my soon to be wife and we didnt have sex until the 4th month after we started dating. Plenty of good guys out there for you, at 50 or at 70.
Some people find their mate early in life - and some live with a mistake for too long. Being 50, single isnt the worst thing in the world.

Answer 4

story from the little box:-

It's meaningful....

Once upon a time, there was a teacher and his student
lying down under a big tree near a big grass area.
Then, suddenly, the student asked the teacher,

Student : Teacher, I'm confused, how can we find our soul-mate?
Could you please help me?

Teacher : (Silent for few second, than he answered)

Well, it's a pretty hard and easy question.

Student : (Thinking hard) Huh???

Teacher : Look on that way, there are a lot of grass
there, why don't you walk there but please never walk
backward, just walk straight ahead. On your way, try
to find a beautiful grass and pick it up then give it to me. But just one.

Student : Well, ok then... wait for me... (walked straight ahead to the grass field).

A few minutes later...

Student : I'm back.

Teacher : Em, well I don't see any beautiful grass on your hand

Student : On my journey, I found few beautiful grass,
but I thought that I would find a better one, so I didn't pick it up.
But I didn't realize that I'm at the end of the field, and I hadn't
picked up any. Because you told me not to go back, so I didn't go
back.

Teacher : That's what happened in real life.

What is the message of this story?

* Grass - is people around you
* Beautiful Grass - is people that attract you
* Grass Field - is time
* In looking for your soulmate, please don't always
compare and hope that there will be a better one. By
doing that, you'll waste your lifetime, cause remember..

"Time Never Goes Back".

It applies the same in finding your ideal life
partner, your suitable career or business, therefore
the morale is LOVE & grab hold of the opportunity
that you have now, don't waste time!

Answer 5

Stop looking for a man...look for your true self. Who you really are. Discover who you are and be who you are. I am tempted to say follow your heart...but your heart doesnt have eyes to see, neither does it have a brain to think. So id say, follow your head. If you see that a guy isnt worth it, move on. Just move on. Sincerity and honesty are not written on the faces of anyone...you gotta search deep to fing that. You can only do that by knowing the person, so when you meet a man, try to get to know him first. Soon enough, you will find all the answers you need to know about him...ONLY IF U FOLLOW YOUR HEAD.

Answer 6

It is extremely hard to trust after having your heart broken, and even more so on numerous occassions. All I can really suggest is following your heart.

Its not you. I too feel honesty and trust is the backbone of every relationship and i too wear my heart on my sleeve in relationships. All you can do is follow your morals and be the way you want to be and try to find what you want. When the right guy comes around, he won't make you think you need to change.

Answer 7

don´t give to much of yourself in the beginning then you won´t get hurt if it doens´t work out..
If it does then give a little at a time he will notice it more and like it..
I have meet my new man in the internet by a dating site...
now we are making a patchwork family

Answer 8

Saying no on the first date means you should dump him, He shouldn't be looking for sex on the first date.

That is doing the right thing in my book.

It's hard to say what the problem is, but to me it sounds like the men you are dating.

Answer 9

You have been looking for love in all the wrong places. try church as a hunting ground. That is where the honest men hang out.

Answer 10

When it's meant to be it's meant to be. Dosen't matter how old you are. When you're ready it will happen and MR Right will come along.