Newly married,want to get pregnant,but husband does not want. ..?

Question

We are now 3 months in marriage,but have known each other for a long time.I cant wait to get pregnant but my husband does not want,i have asked him many times but it seems to be hard to convince him, and I am begining to be unhappy..what should i do?

Answer 1

i think it may be wise to wait until you have been married for at least a year to be settled before trying for a baby.

I wouldn't leave it past your mid 30s tho.

but meanwhile why not find other interests or a job that fulfills you and brings in some money while you are waiting for that happy event?

it could be that your hubby is worried about being able to provide for another lil one or he may even feel that fatherhood scares the living daylights out of him - either way the fact that he is concerned about it means that when it happens he is more likely to do a good job as a father as he is wanting for things to be right at the right time.

so enjoy the early part of your marriage - use barrier methods of contraception rather than chemical ones as the chemical ones can be more difficult to reverse themselves later on

Answer 2

Now don't take this the wrong way, but maybe he's not ready to share you and his life yet. Having a child definitely take away from your time with each other. They are Gods most awesome gift to a marriage, but they can bring stress that your husband may not want as of yet. Its never good to rush anything when things flow naturally they work out for the best. Never pressure him, but at the same time let him know that you understand he wants to wait. Also make sure he knows your perspective, and how you feel. Communication will be the key don't let yourself be unhappy. He just wants to have you for awhile to himself as his wife. Good luck and the patter of little feet will come soon enough.

Answer 3

I have known some who got preg anyway, not a good idea, can you say single parent? I would guess you knew this about him before, since you've been together for a long time. Do you know why he doesn't want them yet? Do your best to be patient and respect his feelings, which can be hard as you get older, guys change or mature to a point where they are more ready to handle kids or deal with the responsibility. Let some time pass, but give him "updates" on how you feel, just don't do it so he feels like you are pressuring him. Don't force him be a dad, yet.

Answer 4

You have probably talked to him about this, but when he say he does not want you to be pregnant is this "not pregnant yet", or "not pregnant ever"?

If it is the first "not pregnant yet", it might be a good idea? You can have a couple of years together without children; this can be nice too - just the two of you. When you have children time seems to move faster, you get less sparetime with each other, to travel, to get to know each other, to enjoy the grown-up-life. This of course depends on your age. If you are 20, I'd say 5 years would be just as fine as 2 years. If you are 30, 2 years max.

If it is the last "not pregnant ever", it might not be a good idea? You have to figure out whether you can live your life without children. I does not sound like this is an option for you. I can understand this. On some point you have to get his opinion on this. If this is what he means, and you cant live without having children; what will you do?

Personally I'd have to discuss this very carefully with myself. I would not want to live without children - I'd leave him and grief the loss of course, but....

Answer 5

Too late! This should have all been negotiated and agreed upon before you got married. How could the two of you not be in sync on the most important reason for being married? Find other things within the relationship to make you happy. What are his reasons - try and address his concerns and find a solution to his reluctance.

Answer 6

This should have been discussed and agreed upon prior to marriage. This is a very big decision and if one person in the relationship does not want kids, it makes it hard to move forward. Now that you can't go back, what are his reasons? Is there a compromise to have just one child? If you can't move past this and you do want kids and he doesn't, you'll have to decide what is more important to you. Best of luck!

Answer 7

What the deuce is wrong with women today, have the brat and have it put into care till its 18 and able to earn a living that will suppliment your own penurous pittance. In fact have about half a dozen , more the merrier I say, (different fathers of course) then go on the Jeremy Kyle show and pour out your heart. Dont forget the mini skirt and boob tube

Answer 8

Sweetie,
You haven't been married very long. Give it time and give him time. If you have a kid before he's ready he'll hold it against you. Work on building a strong marriage first. You will both be better parents for it. Oh, and try not to nag him about it. Guys hate that.
much love,
jb

Answer 9

Sound like your husband is still getting over the wedding thing. Let him have time to make sure that he is ready for kids. If it help you can write a letter to him and explain how your feeling and stuff like that. I always find that talking can help a lot.

Answer 10

I think 3 months are too early for prgnancy.this is the actual time to enjoy your sex life...You should wait for some more time and by the time you can also convince your husband for child.I think you just don't force for it now and enjoy this period...these are the golden days of life.So wait for few months....