whats the best advice you can give me to get over a breakup?

Question

after about 4 years of being with my boyfriend our relationship ended today, any advice how to get over him the fastest possible?

Answer 1

There's this book out there called "It's Called a Break Up Because It's Broken" that is hysterical. It helped me deal with my break up. It comes from the perspective of both a man and a woman and has some of the funniest takes on break ups ever.
Not a reader? Well, surround yourself with your friends and family. Give yourself time to mourn the loss of your relationship. Four years is a while out of anyone's life. Don't dwell on the "what if's" and who did what to whom junk. Realize that there is a purpose to everything that happens in our lives, and in time you'll see this may have been the best thing for the both of you.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

honey, I feel your pain, and I know how difficult this. You will grieve and feel sad for a long time. this is natural. And although you don't want to go out with nayone else at this point, the ONLY way you will get over him, or be strong enough to prevent your heart being broken again is to somehow jump back in to the dating pool ,and go on as many dates as you can (without being sleazy about it). Date other guys, make new friends...you need to put serious distance (emotionally) between you and your boyfriend, even though that is the last thing that you feel lik eyou want to do now.
If you've broken up, there is a reason: there is a 'schism' in your relationship that is so serious that you have broken up over it: therefor it is a warning sign that your relationship had fundamental, serious flaws in it. Recognize that and deal with that, rather than trying to bandais a huge, gaping, bleedeing wound that willnever be healed.

Answer 4

If you've been with him for 4 years he's been an important part of your life for a long time.

I'm not saying you should try to get him back! But don't feel like you have to hurry to "get over" it. That would just be learning how to have shallow relationships and not really care about people. Go ahead and mourn for the good there was between you. Learn to live by yourself and find out who you really are before you get another boyfriend.

Answer 5

Purge yourself of him. Throw away or sell anything that reminds you of him... this includes things you bought together and things you received as gifts. Yes, even something like a TV... you can always replace it. Delete all emails and correspondence, put away or burn all pictures.

If there's anything that you just can't get yourself to get rid of, put it in a box and give it to a good friend to hold onto for at least 1 year. No bending on the 1 year term... I don't care if you've already moved on at 6 or 8 months... wait the full year.

Also, don't dwell on the good times. Sure, there were good times, but they're over and they're not coming back. Don't try to impose some kind of awkward friendship... and if he tries to be your friend it's probably just so he can sleep with you later when you're vulnerable.

If you follow my directions, I guarantee you'll feel better almost immediately. (but still don't skimp on the 1 year minimum time for that box you gave to your friend)

Answer 6

I was destroyed when my ex broke up with me after 3 years, and the best advice I got was that there is something inside that won't let you be so upset forever, I didn't believe it either at the time but its true. Subconsciencly you just stop hurting.

Sleeping with someone else works a treat but can really backfire if you're not careful, I advise you just have fun with friends and work on forgetting about him.

Answer 7

Getting over a break up myself. Though I've never been in a relationship for that long a period. What I do is:
- Cry
- Get angry even if I did the break up
- Talk to friends/family - sis (They remind me why I we aren't together)
- Buy something pretty
- Talk to friends/Cry (They remind me once again)
- Change something - hair or nails - something
- Go to the gym
- Talk to /spend time with friends (Conversation is about something else)
- Read/write poetry
- Do something mentioned above
- Break up? What break up? Who? Ohhhhhh yeah, I'm passed all that
There were times I got back together, but that never worked
(smile)

Answer 8

Allow yourself to feel everything you feel. Journal. Crossword puzzles. Talk to close friends and family, and listen to them.

Unfortunately, there is no fast way. "They" say it takes half the time of the relationship for you to be truly over it.

I also, as a previous answerer said, recommend the book "It's Called a Break-up Because it's Broken".

Answer 9

Write down the reasons for the break up, recall these when you miss him, talk some out with him and maybe stay friends. I did with my ex, we are good friends and agree it is better that way.
Also, realize it is your feelings that are working against you.
Guys feel they have lost territory, girls, I think feel they are being rejected or forgotten.
There is a time now where you need to date yourself to find out who you are on your own and with your friends.
This way, when you meet someone, you can be yourself instead of who you think he wants you to be.....

Answer 10

i think giving urself some tym alone 2 cry or 2 sorrow abt ut breakup is ok..

when ur ready, go out w/ur gf's & have fun... b open 2 new prospects but not 2d point that u look flirty or something like that..

in due tym, u'll heal on ur own..