Where are all the good guys? I am tired of looking and never finding "the one"........why is that?

Question

Dating at this age really sucks. I have been looking and searching for that special one guy. I am beginning to think he is not out there. That all the "Good" guys are long gone. They are either taken or have been hurt so bad by someone, that they are unwilling to give me a chance. I look around and see so many mean and ungrateful women who have everything and a wonderful man by their side. I can only ask myself why and wonder what is it that I am doing wrong. Why can't I find my "Mr Right"? Where are you my one and only....where are you??

Answer 1

Keep looking.
But just be yourself because if you say
"hey that guy looks like a good guy, I want him"
that guy just might be one more that takes advantage of you
and you end up saying "there are no good guys".

Good guys don't take advantage of girls.
Just keep looking but don't pre-judge
and don't throw yourself at them,
cus it makes you vulnerable.

I wish you well.

Answer 2

First of all, what age are you? Unless you are over 30, don't say this is the worst age. I actually think your 30s IS definitely the worst age to find dates. Most of the guys in our age bracket are married, divorced, or the few that have not been married yet, seem to be pretty jerky. Many of the divorced ones already have kids...and if you don't want to be a step mom, that's a big deal-breaker. Plus, men are pigs and always seem to be more interested in the 20-somethings. *sigh* I feel your pain if you're in your 30s or maybe even 40s. After your 40s though, you find widowed guys or guys whose kids have left home...so I think it gets a little easier again at that point.

Also, you are focusing on your ONE and ONLY. As a dreamer, I think about that too...but realistically, there is more than one guy out there for you. He's just hiding under a rock somewhere. Always keep your options open...and remember you must kiss a LOT of toads to find the prince.

Answer 3

I just have one thing to say to you. All women are psycho to some degree. You want to know why you can find him? Because you, for some reason, feel like you have to search for him. Looking, searching, sniffing men out from underneath rocks will not help you find Mr. Right, in fact it will only scare men away. These women who have a wonderful man were probably never looking for Mr. Right.

You wanna know what you are doing wrong? Everything. If you haven't already scared "the one" off, then chances are you will find him, and scare him off anyway.... Calm down, and sooner or later he may come to you accidentally.... geez.

Have you ever lost the other sock somewhere, only to find out you can't find it after searching for it one morning?! I bet you were convinced that you'd never find it.... but a few days or few weeks later you just happened to come across it under your bed, under your pillow, or stuck to the inside of your washing machine? That's how finding mr. right will work. In the mean time, stop going psycho over this issue.

If I was the greatest guy in the world and I for some reason knew that you felt this way about finding Mr. Right, I would steer way clear of you cuz you'd scare me.

Answer 4

Hmm....I know how hard and counter-intuitive it is to follow the advice of folks who say "stop trying too hard" when their opening line is "you're a little bit psycho", *lol*, like you're going to listen to someone who insults you. ;)

But in all honesty there is something to it. On the one hand, you cannot just give up altogether. If you do that, you just let despair get its way in and you start letting yourself go and *that* isn't the idea...

The idea is to be yourself and to be *comfortable* in your own skin, warts and all. This is why folks who search high and low scare others off, not just because of the vulnerability involved but because the first thing people see is how *desperate* you are.

Wouldn't it be better to give That One a better first impression?

So here is what you do...don't actively search, but remain aware, keep your eyes open, but...

Live your life. Spend your time and efforts doing things you want to do, that you love to do. Let your passions and your positive emotional energy show. *That* is what attracts folks, not desperate yearning, pining and searching, *lol*....

And I know, I am a fine one to talk....you'll have bad days, where you get desperate and start to actively look again, I know. I do too. So...let it happen, don't judge it, don't sweat it and just let it pass. The more you pay attention to the problem, the longer it sticks around in your head where it doesn't belong, right?

The idea is to get back into a positive, "just being me and being friendly and approachable" mode as soon as possible. :)

Having said all that though, you do have one unfair advantage over us men....you're a woman. People do expect you to be pretty once in a while, so if you were to put your efforts into dressing up and being attractive on occasion, well, folks might notice.

(in particular, some guys have this thing for curves....hourglass figures....and also, some guys have a thing for slick, shiny textures...so if you want to cheat a little and speed up the attraction process, have at it, but just remember, you are looking for Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now....so don't overdo it)

Answer 5

you r right good guys have been taken or hurt badly by some one im too one of them whom was hurt badly in love n in freindship but i do have some of my good friends i dont have a gf i have the same problem which u have all i can say is that u must search one day ur mr. right will come and soon ur heart will automaticlay glad when u found ur mr. right hope this helps u

Answer 6

There's a right time for everything. Just leave the matter to God.Try to know more people instead of seaching a guy. Enjoy your life too when you are young. Do things that you love and learn new things. Without realising it, the right guy might appear. So dun worry so much bout it. You will scare guys away when you sounds desperate.

Answer 7

Quit trying, the harder you try the longer it will take. You are looking for someone that fits your standards so subconsciously when you are looking you never find that man.

Chill out for awhile and just kick back. It will happen sooner than you could imagine. One day you will be at the grocery store or the mall and that mister right will be standing right next to you.

Good luck and may the force be with you, lol.

Answer 8

I know what you mean. I have not clue - if I did, I wouldn't be single. I am attracted to intelligence - call it the gemini in me. Now yes physical attraction is important but for me the bigger the brain and the heart the quicker I fall. Apparently some "bad" guys have pretty big brains too - those are the worst - warning: Stay away from them! If you do find the good guys - please let me know.

Answer 9

he is out there and if u r in need of him like u say u r then u really need to be out looking 4 him and not on the computer all day long. but it depends on how old u r and what u r looking 4 in a man.

Answer 10

It all depends on your perception of "The One" . Accept that we are born with all the qualities . I had been through something like that recently . You might find it here :
http://prinz-thepugnacious.blogspot.com
but you should know how to get over it . Thats the way of life. Accept it to be happy . Dont worry about what you dont have . But dont give up on wanting something you like as long as there is any hope.