single mom wanting answers?????

Question

I am a single mom that has no help... none from the father and none from my own family. i have been through too much raising my son but lately it seems too tough. he is almost 3 and i get no support and not help. i struggle with my job and finding a babysitter. his dad charges me to watch his own child. i am way too concerned about what to do. i go to college full time and work full time, but when i cant find a sitter i have to call out of work which i essentially cant pay bills. any answers?????????

his dad is ordered to pay child support. matter a fact when i took him to get support he took me to court trying to get custody so he didnt have to pay child support. he was ordered to pay a certain amount to me, but when he has to watch my son days other than everyother weekend he automatically subtracts it out of the child support. he says its because he has to pay his other baby's mother to watch my son because he's never there.

Answer 1

It seems everyone else has said it all already.

** Check into subsidized child care. It is grant money the state gives you to pay for child care for children up to 10 yr old.

** File for child support

** Fil for W.I.C Women Infants and Children. Free food for children up to age 5

**Check out meetup.com to find other parents in your area that can help babysit while you are in school

The father needs to help or get the hell out. He is not adding value to your life by being a pain in the a**.

**HANG in there!!

Answer 2

Well i can say that if the father doesnt help out dont pay him to watch his own child. And look around sometimes there are programs to help mothers just like you at my college there is a program that helps pay for daycare. I can tell you i have been there and done that when finding a babysitter my hubby works 2-10pm so it gets hard when i need to go to school at night. I feel your pain and i hope you will look for help in your state i know texas has some things that help with childcare. But i know every state is diffrent Texas just happens to be big enough to have money for things like this. Good luck and i would try to find someone like a grandmother figure who may not work or a neighbour that might watch your kids. I wish you the best of luck and hang in there it will all work out.


Ps get the father up off his *** and make him do something take it to court if you have to.

Answer 3

Try your local Department of Social Services. They can get you a babysitter of your choice and most of the time for free especially if they see that you are working and attending school. Doesn't Dad pay child support? He should not have the right to be charging you to watch your own child at all. I am also a single mom of 3 ranging from 13 years to 5 weeks old and I went to Social Services to find that I got emergency food stamps, they are now paying my rent and medicaid for the kids and I can go to school full time and work part time and keep the money that I amke. I do not know what I would do without them and I wish that I would have done it sooner!!

Answer 4

I am a single mother too. I have a full time job but im not a full time student, so you should pat yourself on the back because that is great. About the dad, you should not have to pay him to watch his own child, what is he thinking. Why don't you try to get a trusting high school student to watch your child while you work or go to school. In most states you can to the Social Services Offices and get help with day care. Try it don't let your pride get in the way. Good Luck

Answer 5

I have been a single mom, and I feel for you 100%

I was wondering, how is it that the father does not help you, yet you have to pay him? (do you not have full custody?)

If you DO have full custody, and work/college full time, you certainly have your plate way overfull.

If your family is of no help right now, can you have a heart to heart with them explaining you need support?

If that is not possible, it is time to network with other single mom's in your area who are in the same boat.Help each other on a rotating basis. Or- church. If you are not religious, that is ok. There are non-denominational churches (and many others) that have great single parent programs, call around. I hope this helps, and I wish the best for you and your sweet little son.

Answer 6

wow.. you are going through a lot with a baby not even 3

I am married with an almost 3 year old. My in laws live right next door, my parents are right down the street, and an entire church family just waiting to lend a hand at the first sign of distress, and I sometimes still find myself stressed out.
I couldn't imagine doing this alone!! Do you have a local church that you could attend and acquaint you and your son with.. If not start looking, don't give up. Churches are just full of really wonderful grandmothers, mothers, and teenage girls who are willing to lend a hand.
His father charges you??? Do you get child support?? There are ways to go about getting the child support you need..
First and foremost don't give up, your baby needs you and trusts that his every need is taken care of.. sounds like you are all he has.
Again seek a church of your choice, give you worries to God, really... let him know .. believe..
God Bless ... .. from one mother to another ... don't give up.

Answer 7

sounds to me like your babies dad is a dead beat dad to charge you to watch the child he had no problem in helping you make. go to the county in which you live and see about getting daycare assistance they do have that where if you qualify you pay little to nothing and when you do that the county may go after the father for more money which sounds good to me and about him going after custody they hardly take children away from the mother if there is no cause for it alot of fathers do that after being charged child support the court goes with what is best for the child which is usually the mother.

Answer 8

Hun he cant deduct it from the child supprot contact the courts and request that he be partilly resonsponable for child care then if he wants he can bring up the fact that he provides care sometimes dont allow him to throw up the fact that he has another child to pay for because that is not your concern your son is all you are concerend about he is using this as a way of keepin his cash...Report to the courts what he is doing because if it is not in the order then he can not do it....Good Luck and remember God only gives you what he knnows you can handle (even if it doesnt seem that way)

Answer 9

Take that lazy bum to court, he'll HAVE to pay child support. It sounds like the dad is a dead beat and shouldn't be around the child till he gets his act together. Try going to a church day care. The people there are extremely supportive and often times will offer to help outside of normal hours. The biggest thing you need to do is take a deep breath. Take things day by day, it will get easier.

Answer 10

i know what ur going through. i've been in ur shoes kinda. the diff. between u and me is that i had my family to help me. i worked a full time job, and had to pay for everything. my son's sperm donor as i call him won't work bc by the state he has to pay child support. i haven't seen money from him in years. u should see if u can get help from the state. i had to pay my son's other grandparents to babysit him before i found a better place for him. u shouldn't have to pay his own father to keep his son. u should also file for child support. that will help if he can make the payments. take it slow and don't get to over whelmed. it won't be good for u.