Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 6 months and he constantly accuses me of cheating on him. He went to go visit some family members out of state about 3 weeks ago and plans to marry me when he gets back next week. My problem is he just doesn't trust me at all. Everytime i leave the house hes questioning me. Is he just missing me like i miss him or could something else be up?
2006-06-19 18:38:29 · 29 answers · asked by chasity b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if he is constantly accusing u and u know ur not doing anything to cause the accusations then maybe it's him cheating or he could be insecure from a past relationship or maybe controlling. it could be that he misses u too but the obvious is that he dosen't trust u. without trust your relationship is not whole it's always going to be a emptiness or the thought of "something going on when the other isn't looking". if he has to be breathing down your back and keeping a close eye on u at all times he is going to be the one pushing u away with all the constant pressure. u been together 6 moths the sepearation 3 weeks it sounds like to me that he is not so sure of wanting to marry u if he thinks ur cheating. ask him why would u want to marry someone u feel can't be faithful. everytime u separate to go anywhere the accusations will start, no good will come from it and it could lead to him putting his hands on u. your relationship needs trust or u will continue to have problems...hope this helps.
2006-06-20 11:02:14 · answer #1 · answered by Pimpin' 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think people who keep accusing other people of cheating are insecure about something. He probably doesn't feel like he is good enough to have you as a partner. He probably deep down inside feels like you are going to leave him for someone else, but for some odd reason he keeps accusing you of cheating. Because, maybe that is the only way he can express his feelings. But he better stop accusing, because most of the time it will eventually become true. I'm not saying you would do that, but in most cases of one partner accusing the other to the point of exhaustion, they end up cheating just to make the statement true. Good luck and hope everything works out! If you both plan to marry, make sure you work out everything before you for sure tie the knot. I've only been married 9 months now, and little things have already popped up, but I still love my husband.
2006-06-19 18:47:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here is a bit of advice, if he is constantly accusing you of cheating it means 2 things:
First he is insecure of himself to be that jealous and needs to be in control of what he is lacking.
Second he is accusing you because of the fact that he is cheating himself. Guilt sets in and the only way that he can excuse his actions is to turn it around and blame the nearest person...you. This way he still has control over you when you say that you are not cheating.
Do you really want to marry a man who constantly comes at you accusing you of cheating? Look at the near future, how happy do you think you will be in your marriage if there is no trust? Divorce comes to mind...Statistics shows that if there is no trust in a marriage there is no marriage/relationship.
Now if you do plan on marring this man do you honestly think that you will change him because your married and that you love him? Can you say denial? You can not control or change anyone but yourself.
I don't mean to offend you in any way but you did ask the question.
2006-06-19 18:58:42 · answer #3 · answered by psylocke 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please do not marry him. Do you see what it is like now living under the constant questioning, distrust, anger, etc. This is what it will be like forever if you marry him. He is insecure in himself, it has nothing to do with you. He will try to "cure" his insecurity by making you feel worse than he does through his constant accusations and suspicion. Please do not marry him.
Also, there is a school of thought that thinks a person who constantly accuses a partner of cheating -- when there are no signs that other partner is cheating, the accuser is actually cheating himself, and because he sees how he can get away with it, believes you must be doing the same thing.
Again, please do not marry him. If he's this possessive and you have only been dating for 6 months -- imagine what it will be like living under his thumb when he thinks he has dominion over you as your husband.
I wish you well.
2006-06-19 18:48:05 · answer #4 · answered by Randa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel and try to make him answer why he thinks you ar e chetting him .
It's true with out trust the is no marriage, and I think that only six months of relationship ,you guys are barely knowing each other it's this really what you want?
Does he really want to marry you even thougt he thinks you are cheating him ?
maybe he is just getting "cold feet".
Good luck =)
2006-06-19 18:56:18 · answer #5 · answered by Rick 77 O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's got control issues, bigtime. Does he also try to keep you from hanging out with your family or other friends? BIG BIG warning sign, and he could turn out to be physically abusive too.
Here's the question you should be asking: If he doesn't trust you, why on EARTH would he want to marry you? That just makes NO sense.
2006-06-19 18:45:45 · answer #6 · answered by onyxflame 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communicate to him that you just don't like it at all. And the fact that his actions are giving u undue pressure. Make an effort to really see eye to eye on the fundamental issues in a relationship before u progress further. How can both of you run when u cant even walk together?
2006-06-19 18:45:09 · answer #7 · answered by chio'z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is possessive and controlling and it's only going to get worse. Pretty soon he isn't going to let you leave the house.
You need to tell him that you can't get married until you guys get some counseling because if he can't trust you now, he's not going to start trusting you after marriage...it will only get worse.
2006-06-19 18:43:30 · answer #8 · answered by Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, he could be the one that is cheating and blaming it on you ,
i know that you do not want to hear that but it has happened to me . i would kind of hint around about different things past girlfriends , also don't check up on him but if he said that he was going someplace i would just either show up there too or go by and see if he was there and who was there just one time cause just becuse he don't trust you don't mean that you can not trust him ,
2006-06-19 18:48:17 · answer #9 · answered by susie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont walk away from him....run away....he sounds like a major control freak. ppl who accuse others of cheating are usually the cheaters. but im old so thats ok.
2006-06-19 18:44:13 · answer #10 · answered by late_sleeper35 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋