I'm very mature for my age and my boyfriend is very respectful. We're not sexually involved. He also has never pressured me to have sex with him or any other type of intercourse. Well my mom knows I have a boyfriend and she wants to meet him. My boyfriends looks 19 but he recently just turned 23 this month. I dont know how my mom will react when she finds out I'm going with a 23 yr old. He's a very nice guy! i have always liked older guys because they one's my age are so immature.Has anyone every been in this type of situation. If so , what would you do? I need good advice
2006-06-19 17:51:58 · 36 answers · asked by lady 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
In most states, he can be arrested. Your mom has reason to be concerned.
2006-06-19 17:55:48 · answer #1 · answered by Mark G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was 17 I was dating my now "fiance'" and he was 24.. Now I am going to be 23 in 2 months and he just turned 30.. I am also very mature for my age. I've always had older friends, and a lot of people that I have known for a few years always think that I am older than I really am.. My boyfriend is not "immature", but he is young in spirit, and he looks younger than he really is too. So it's a perfect match.. The only age issue we had was probably the first 6 months of dating because I was still 17. But once I turned 18 and I was legal, everything was cool. His mother just didn't like the idea because there are siko girls out there that will turn in revenge in the case that something goes wrong with the relationship and call "rape" and get they guy in trouble because girls are still under age, but I proved his mother wrong, and now she sees that I was in the relationship for REAL cause I love him. My Mom was a little bit worried at first, but she realized that he was a good person. If you really think that the relationship could work, then go for it!!! Look what it got me - My future husband!!
2006-06-20 04:08:32 · answer #2 · answered by Aisha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in your situation before kinda, but the guy I was with was a druggy and we were sexually active. It didn't last over 6 months cause he found a girl closer to his age. I'm glad cause 8 months later I met my husband who is 5 years older and we've been together 9 years now. If this guy will wait for you to have sex when you're ready, then that's a great guy. I wouldn't lie to your mom and between 19-23 guys are not gonna change much so I don't think she'll mind as long as he is good to you and he's responsible. Hopefully he works or goes to college. As for mature guys, you're smart cause most girls date very immature guys. Good luck.
2006-06-19 19:07:56 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa GCL 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear....you're mom's gunna freak. As nice as he may be there is a reason he's dating someone so much younger. He obviously can't get anyone his own age. I was in the same position at one point. I was 16 and the guy I was dating was 20. As nice as I thought he was, looking back I understand why he was dating a 16 yr old. he had no job and no future. When my parents found out about it my dad about killed him...(not literally, but he was PISSED). My advice, be friends with the guy but don't date him. You'll understand when you're 23 how absurd the situation actually is.
2006-06-19 19:13:43 · answer #4 · answered by wsucougal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the best policy, be truthful to your Mom no matter how she reacts. If you have always been trusted she will listen to you and hear you out. Don't let the age bother you that much six years is not that big of a age difference. Explain to your Mom all the good qualities about him and say how safe you feel with him, also that you want to introduce him to her etc. You don't know yet how she is going to react..so try and relax and take the first step. She might surprise you. You sound like someone with a good head on her shoulders...I wish you the best. If your Mom does not like your choice try to understand her side too. Maybe you can come to some kind of understanding you have to live with your Mom...so be patient....and you have your education ahead of you too...good luck....
2006-06-19 18:02:52 · answer #5 · answered by Mama Jazzy Geri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I was in a worse one I got pregnant when I was 13 by a 17 years old. I would try to ask her about it before they meet. Just bring the subject up like mom what do you think about older men dating younger women and see what her reaction is. Now I want to warn you a lot of people are going to get on here to say something stupid but I support you I was just like you when I was younger. Just to let you know me and that once 17 year old have been together for 6 years. good luck keep me posted
2006-06-19 17:57:29 · answer #6 · answered by Katie R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure hes 23 maybe hes even older.
I dont know why a 23 year old guy would want to date someone still in high school .
if you were 40 and he was 45 it would be a little different, just the timing is off at 17,
you still have a lot of life to see before getting serious.
Finish HS before you go out.
2006-06-19 17:56:29 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i am 23 years old and my sister went out with someone my age when she was 17, my mother didnt like it at first then she got used to it, until she became pregnant and he started bashing her! (she lost the baby)
now i'm not saying this is going to happen to you, i'm just saying that if you really love this guy and he loves u you should tell your mum about it. and if your mum doesnt like the idea at all your boyfriend will understand why, and if he really loves you, he'll stay with you and understand that he'll have to be extra careful in looking after you. because i'm a mum and i know what your parents will do to protect u. your boyfriend will just have to prove he's a trustworthy guy and that he is looking after u and not pushing u into anything. it's the only way you will know f he's right for you.
2006-06-19 18:00:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think your mom will freak, then ease her into it. Let her meet him before you tell her how old he is. If she likes his personality, then the age gap won't be that big of a deal. I've been in this situation before. I dated a guy who was 25 when i was 19...It was one of the best relationships i've ever had! As long as he's not "dominating" over you or pressuring you to do something you don't want to do, then you're fine!
2006-06-20 05:33:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We have a the same situation. i am 17 yr old and my boyfriend is 30 yr old. It's ok as long as you love him. Talk to your mom and tell her that your boyfriend is a nice guy and tell her also to give her trust to you. Ask her for an advice besides parent's knows best.
2006-06-19 18:03:31 · answer #10 · answered by jasone s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do sound like you are making responsible choices and not having sex, telling your mom about your b/f's etc.
If your b/f looks 19 I would let your mom meet him and decide if she likes him w/out knowing his age. If she does like him it will be easier to tell her that he is 23 (but if she doesn't it will be harder!)
I wouldn't lie to her. If she asks I would tell her or try to dodge the question until they meet but don't just lie to her, she won't like that when she finds out.
If you tell her she may over-react and judge him before she meets him (only because she loves you and worries about you).
Just keep making good choices and be honest, you are lucky to have a mom you can talk to about your b/f's don't ruin that honesty over a guy. If he is as nice as you say he will wow her too.
Good luck.
2006-06-19 18:01:34 · answer #11 · answered by az 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋