My 15month old is biting his friend!?

Question

He never used to bite. But his friend is bigger then him and they used to wrestle but now my son doesn't want to. He just let's his friend get on top of him and starts screaming. The other day the other kids dad was watching them and he told my son to "bite his nipple off" and of course my son bit him. (I have already chewed the dad out!) Of course his friend got off of him. Now my son has learned that biting gets his friend to do what he want. So he is biting him all the time. He doesn't bite anyone else though. What do I do to stop this?

Answer 1

I hope this doesn't sound silly.

My son did not bite, until he was bit by a friends child, then he started biting, we did the time out and that's not nice...bla bla bla, and I refused to bite him back.....so the last time he bit, I put a band -aid on the bite mark...he understood band -aids were for 'owies' and it connected.

Helping your son understand that the bite hurts....seems to be the trick....figuring out what that 'trigger' is...will be the trick

Good luck

Answer 2

First of all, never leave your child with that kids' dad ever again. Some people have no common sense!!

Now, what I'm about to tell you may make other believe that "I" have no common sense, but here goes. I had a brother and a sister along with many cousins. So there were lots of biting episodes. Along the way, there were various ways parents tried to rectify this problem, and since I don't want to sit here all night and go through all of them, I will give you the short answer.

The one that worked EVERY time, was... biting the child back. It appears that children don't always understand that they are hurting someone, until that very same thing happens to them.

When it came time to break my two children of biting, I tried everything under the sun to break them because I couldn't stand the thought of having to bite my own child. In the end, I had to bit them. One bit, stopped them for good. (You don't have to bite very hard). But it works!

Answer 3

I disagree with the "bite back" philosophy. I think that models bad behavior and the kid doesn't have the self control to remember when mommy bit him it hurt and therefore he shouldn't bite his friend. I think there are a couple things here: your son needs to learn to say "no" or "stop" and the other kid needs to respect that and stop. Obviously, in toddlers, this behavior has to be reinforced a lot. If the other dad isn't willing to teach his son to stop when asked, then don't let them play. Body boundaries are important. As far as the biting, in our house our two year old started biting on and off a year ago and it is an instant time out no matter who or how hard or why. After her time out, we go over the rule-- no biting, biting hurts-- and try to name what she was feeling (I know you were excited/mad/wanted mommy to pay attention to you but it is not OK to bite). Then we make her say sorry to whoever she bit--even the cat! :) She rarely bites now.

Answer 4

My son bit me a time or two and I INSTANTLY let him know that was unacceptable. Use what discipline methods you have chosen. Once I slapped his hand, once I instantly put him in a time out. Then, I explained that it hurt and that biting was a "no-no"! Some kids do bite because they get a reaction - even if it is a negative reaction. Also, young kids are allowed to chew on so many things - why not chew on a friend?

Answer 5

When your son bites his friend, give his friend alot of attention, ignore your son for a couple minutes while you give the other child a hug and fawn over him. When your child sees who gets the attention, he'll want it, too.

Also watch them when they're playing, if you see the situation that usually brings on the biting getting ready to happen quickly intervene and offer your son an alternative: Say "No bite. Tell John no."

Answer 6

I know this may sound harsh but my sister's kids went through the biting stuff and her daughter bit a plug out of my son and I didn't know what to do. My little sister made my son bite her daughter back to let her know that it hurt and to this day the kids may wrestle each other and slap each other but they have yet to bite each other ever again!

Answer 7

Easiest thing at that age is to teach him an alternative way to get what he wants. Like if the playmate responds to being told NO, then have your son tell him NO...
Ok, so my 15 month old started biting too and we taught him to zerbert instead (you know that motor boat noise made onto the skin - like we do to their belly!). worked for 2 of my nephews too (but not the nieces...)
Of course, I wouldn't bite him back but definitely they are old enough for discipline- you can't have a 'conversation' with them about biting but definitely teach them NO. It's never too early to explain that 2 wrongs dont make a right. Good luck!

Answer 8

If it weren't for an innocent kid getting bit, I would say the dad got what was coming to him. It is hard to reason with a 15 mo old, but tell him he won't see his friend anymore if he continues to bite. Maybe take a break from the friend for a week and see what happens.

Answer 9

You did the right thing when you chewed out dad. I would tell the other child to bite back and maybe it will stop. It sounds bad but he will know what it feels like. Good Luck

Answer 10

Toddlers don't have the ability to feel empathy like adults do. They tend to not realize that what they do can hurt someone else. Neither do they have many modes of expressing themselves except by hitting and/or biting. Or the self-control. Just be firm (no yelling), get down on his level and tell him that it isn't nice to bite. And then redirect his attention to a toy, or anywhere else. Don't keep punishing him, spanking, etc. Because then he'll do it to get a reaction out of you. Say no, be firm, and move on. He'll grow out of it eventually.