I have had a lot of trouble with my parents accepting my fiancee, they do not like him and some times say things that are not nice. The other night my mom told me things she did not want me to discuss with him. My question is do I honor her or do I honor him and by being honest? Thank you for your time God bless you
2006-06-19 16:56:06 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
it is not right for your mom to put you in this situation. this type of behaviour on her part is trying to sow seeds of division between you and your future husband...nip it in the bud! Tell her that she doesn't need to be telling you anything that you cannot share with your husband to be...and that she needs to keep what ever information she is sharing to herself if she cannot respect your stance...trust me, I've been through this junk time and time again with people...
2006-06-19 17:11:40 · answer #1 · answered by herenthere 5 · 1⤊ 4⤋
It is very powerful that you would put this type of a question on an open forum. Please consider this, if you are a Christian girl, the Bible says that you honor your parents ALWAYS. I have two young boys who, I hope as a parent, am able to honor them by being a Godly example. By doing this I can see things that they will experience while they grow up, and during those times I have the obligation as a good father to tell them when I see them heading into trouble. If the young man you are interested in is not a Christian, I can see the reason for your parents concern. Also consider this, your parents are human to, and very capable of making mistakes. Pray for them. They need it. Trust me, I make my share of mistakes, but in those times, I hope my kids see how they should act when they make mistakes based on how I react when I make mistakes. Good luck! SW
2006-06-19 17:17:25 · answer #2 · answered by Stephen W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would depend on what type of things she did not want you to discuss with him. Maybe it was something she felt not ready yet for him to know. I am married and my parents and I are close. I share most things with my husband but there are times I am told things in confidence by my mother and I don't share them with my husband. It is about respect for both. If your fiance told you something in confidence would you share it with anyone else? of course not so give your mother the same respect. If you feel you can not keep a confindence then tell your mother this and ask her not to tell you things she does not want your fiance to hear.
Now has to your parents not liking him have you asked why? Do they have any valid concerns (i.e. they heard he had abused a previous girlfriend or was married still, they feel is he to controlling of you, etc) are you under 18 and they feel you are to young to make such a serious decision about your life? Or do they just feel like no one is good enough for their little girl? Talk to your parents find out what is the issue. REALLY LISTEN to them. If you are over 18 it is your decision what your do.
2006-06-19 18:57:10 · answer #3 · answered by idaho gal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, one of the 10 commandments (the fifth?) says "thou shalt honor thy mother and thy father" so, I think that you should listen. However, I think that if God intended you and your fiancee to be together the rest of your lives, he would have your parents get along with him.
Now, I'm not necessarily saying you shouldn't get married or anything, but I think that you all should get together sometime and talk and try to smooth things out between you, or else anger might start between you and your parents for a long time.
2006-06-19 17:02:34 · answer #4 · answered by Pyr0 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fiance' If you are going to spend the rest of your life with this person, you need to be open and honest with him in all aspects of your life, and hope he is doing the same for you. I know you love your parents and they have probably been really good to you, but now you have to realize you don't live with them anymore, and you have to see your husband everyday and you can't have secrets between you, and he needs to be #1 in your life all the time, when ever you are making a decision in anything, he comes first! You'll always have a happy relationship if you remember he is the most important.
2006-06-19 17:03:06 · answer #5 · answered by sweetgurllexi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are joining your life with your fiancee and separating yourself more from your parents, as is expected, I say stick up for your man. Showing loyalty to him is the most important thing for your relationship. If your mom has a problem, she needs to grow up and let you make decisions for your own life.
2006-06-19 17:01:28 · answer #6 · answered by Kelly K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honor your parents. They usually know more than their children. Find a way to get their blessings before you marry him. When you get your parent's blessing, both you and your fiance will live a much more rewarding life.
2006-06-19 17:04:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it depends on what the problem is. Why don't your parents like your fiancee? What kind of things did she say about him? Are the reasons why your parents don't like him merited?
2006-06-19 17:02:49 · answer #8 · answered by southfloridamullets 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do your parents have legitimate concerns that you have not considered? I'd ask them what issues they have with your fiancee. It might shed some light on the situation.
2006-06-19 17:02:01 · answer #9 · answered by HL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the ten commandments, it is written: "Honour your father and mother". Nothing about fiancee. I'm not even a teen yet so i don't know how these relationships work, but i'm guessing that you shouldn't tell him. Pray about it!
2006-06-19 17:01:38 · answer #10 · answered by Nobody 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The commandment "Honor your father and mother" does not mean obey everything they say because parents can and do make mistakes.
2006-06-19 17:02:45 · answer #11 · answered by jess5691 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋