my 17 month old sleeps in my bed?

Question

my son sleeps with me every night. i am single so it is just the two of us. he has been doing it pretty much since he was born and now when i try to put him in his crib to go to bed he crys uncontrolably and throws up. what can i do?

Answer 1

You aren't a bad mom. My daughter slept with me until she was 2. There's nothing wrong with it, but it is very very hard to get them out of your bed, especially if you really don't have a good reason. I would suggest putting his toddler bed in the same room with you and then maybe after he goes to sleep, put him in it. Keep trying this until you can get him to sleep in the bed. Eventually as he gets older he will be easier to get out of your room. But your first priority is to get him out of your bed in a fashion that works for both of you. His crying and getting upset enough to vomit is not the way. He's not ready and in the end, you might have to wait until he is. It will come. My daughter is now 7, and sleeps in her own bed. It was a long road to get her there, but as she got older, 2-4 years...she slept in her bed more than in mine. You will win in the end. And don't let anyone tell you you're a bad mom...only people who read Dr. Spock would think that. People in third world countries sleep with their whole family in one bed, and they don't die from carbon dioxide poisoning...how ridiculous.

Answer 2

what you should do is put his crib in your room and have it right next to yours for one night that way he is still in the same room as you and right next to you but isnt in the same bed that way he gets used to sleeping in this own bed then the next night move the crib a little bit more away from you bed keep doing that every night untill he is in his own room. if one night he wont stop crying and throwing up move him closer to your bed and start over he will adjust. and talk to your son and let him know why he needs to sleep in his own bed. tell him that hes a big boy now and big boys sleep in there own bed. Good luck and let me know how things go.

Answer 3

It is very important that he learns to sleep on his own right away. But you have to be patient while making the transition. First put him down in his crib and set a chair like half way to the door, put slow music to soothe him and wait with him until he falls asleep, but don't play with him and keep telling him it's time to go to sleep. Do this a couple of days and a few days later, move the chair closer to the door. Keep moving the chair every few days until you sit in the chair outside his room. This makes the baby feel secure that you still are watching over him even if you're not with him. I hope this works with you and good luck.

Answer 4

Been there, done that. It takes baby steps. I would start with possibly letting him fall asleep with you, then moving him. (is the crib in the same room, that might even be a good start too). If you can move to taking NAPS in the crib than he'll get used to it. Also my oldest (I have 4) never slept in her crib, she hated the sound of the mattress. At 18months I moved her to a toddler bed (and didn't use a loud plastic mattress/ or covered the mattress to muffle it). She's been in her own bed ever since.

Answer 5

Don't listen to the judgemental people. More and more, co-sleeping is becoming popular. My babies slept with me from the day they came home from the hospital until either they wanted to move out or it was time for the next baby to move in. My 3 year old had a bit of a harder time giving up sleeping with mommy but I ALWAYS had him nap in his crib so that he would know it. I always had him sleep in his crib on the weekends from the beginning. But when it came time for him to always sleep in his crib I rocked him for a bit, not to sleep just until he was calm and sleepy. I had a bear that attached to the crib and it had a heart beat. I would keep that on while rocking him. Then I would lay him down and stay with him a few minutes. It usually only took about 15 minutes to get him to go to sleep. My 2 year old just decided one day that he didn't like sleeping with me and daddy so he moved into his crib all on his own. :( made me sad. But anyways... If I were you I would follow the advice of many. Set him in his crib and wait for him to fall asleep. The next week move farther away and so on and so forth. Good luck.

Answer 6

Listen well plz....Start putting the child in the crib and stay with him till he goes to sleep. Slowly start moving further away from him until you are out of the room. Leave a night light on for a feeling of security.

Answer 7

move him into his own bed. On the first night, put him in his crib, and lie on the floor. if you have to, wear headphones so you don't have to listen to him. do this every night for one week. then, slowly start to move towards the door, every night, move closer until you eventually can leave the room. Right now you're like his teddy bear he can't sleep without. Good luck.

Answer 8

Ignore the lady talking about your son breathing in your carbon dioxide - unless you 2 are sleeping in a coffin! lol Geesh, people are crazy on here.

From a doctor:
Let your son know that you (the grown-up) has decided that he (the child) will need to sleep in his own bed from now on. He is a bigger kid now, and big kids sleep in their own beds. You might want to go to the store and buy some special sheets, really cool ones, to celebrate the occasion. Put your son to bed in his own bed for naps and at night.

Be extremely consistent. Do not, under any circumstances, bring him into your bed with you, or lay down in his bed with him. If he comes into your room in the night, simply walk him back to his bed and tuck him back in. If he is upset, sit by his bed and help him to calm down, in his own bed. Let your son know that you know what he is doing is difficult, but you have utter faith in his ability to do it. Use lots of praise.

To make things easier for your child, make this change at a time when other things in his and your lives are relatively stable and stress-free: not right after starting a new school; not when one of you is highly stressed at work. It's best if you (the parent) can remain upbeat, sympathetic, consistent, and solidly in agreement with one another. This takes a lot of energy and preparation. You're bound to be tired for a couple of nights. On the other hand, it doesn't take long for most children to learn that they really are able to sleep on their own.

This simple program works for children and families who are basically healthy--they just need to learn how to be apart from each other comfortably at night. If your situation is different, you might need extra support from a pediatrician, family doctor, or a child guidance professional in order to move forward successfully.
— by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P.

Answer 9

That child isn't going to die from breathing the same air you breathe. Since when did people die from other people breathing? My friend is about to be 17 and she still sleeps with her mom. SO? You should try and break the habit, by meaning that just incase you have company or something your child doesn't feel pressured and stressed (or whatever) because he can't sleep with you, but so. It's not bad. I'd love for my children to sleep with me until they're dead and gone.

Answer 10

I let my son sleep with me also because I was single. He was sleeping with me till he was 5. And I had to pay $65 to have cable put in his room so he could watch tv till he fell asleep. Maybe if you put him in a big boy bed and laid down with him for awhile till he went too sleep. Good Luck I know how you feel.