Is there a guide on how to become an a**hole ?

Question

Its pay-back time !

Answer 1

Mate, your a guy right??? Well it will just come naturally too you.... ha ha ha

Answer 2

Most of the world's assholes fall into this category, proudly displaying the fact that they lack the basic determination and/or mental acuity to even be an asshole properly, which places them firmly in the asshat section of the band. Sheep-people, keeping-up-with-the-Jonesers, slow-passing-lane drivers, weightlifters, meter maids, reality television contestants, incessant gossipers, everyone in the suburbs, eight-year-old boys with earrings, Paris Hilton, and dog show enthusiasts are all Asshole Minors, the hemorroids of assholes - only slightly irritating, and when they go away you can almost laugh at them. Uncyclopedia Assholes fall into this category. No, not you... we're, uh, talking about those other assholes. Ever wander onto a page expecting to find a little blast of humour, or at the very least a moderately intelligible sentence or two, perhaps a slight chuckle, only to discover this?
An asshole is a human being (or, perhaps, a fruit/vegetable) who is largely disliked by those that surround him or her. Assholes thrive in any environment, and love to cause anger, annoyance, and other generally negative emotions in those around them. To the contrary of what most of them think, "asshole" is NOT an alternative lifestyle. Furthermore, poop pee bagina.
That's what used to be here until we came brandishing pickaxes and butane torches and enforced a curfew; the fifteen-year-olds scattered like cockroaches. Little. Asshole. Cockroaches.
This is the upper echelon, baby. The Assholerati, if you will. Here's where Club Asshole gets a bit more exclusive, and chances are that if you're not in it yet, you never will be. Here's a test to see if you could potentially gain membership: Pull up your sleeve and look at your forearm. Is it white? Good! If not, don't worry - there's still a chance for you yet, albeit a small one. This second part is the all-important factor: The Financial Aspect. Are you a multimillionaire? (If you're not sure what this word means, then you are not.) You are? Well, congratulations, you have free reign over the entire planet! Go and destroy it in whatever way you see fit. Did you ever want to own a SUV that runs on baby seal blood? Ever dream of cutting down every tree in your town, en masse, and paving over everything to create a One World Mall and Parking Garage? Do you want to own a fifty-seven carat diamond brooch, even after you saw all those photographs of diamond-mining children with their arms lopped off? Really? Welcome home, asshole. Grand Asster, Class "A" Hole
Here it is, the creme de l'***. You must be an extraordinary asshole to soar to these heights, grifting millions of rubes for everything they've got to finance your flights of feces fancy. Peddling outmoded paradigms like crack to schoolchildren, these televangelists, politicians, satanists, Presidents, Steve Ballmer, lottery officials, NBA All-Stars, Sheiks, corporate behemoths, cult leaders and Donald Trump are all in it for the money, but even more so for the tremendous power they wield, dividing and conquering, watching you swaying in their wind and drowning in their ****. Hey, that's just what they do. That's what makes them assholes.

Answer 3

Emulate Ted Kennedy

Answer 4

I think there are actual books however why make someone else rich? You can start by being truthful, for some reason the truth will get you called an asshole everytime. If she asked if her a$$ looks fat and it is tell her YES. Say the first thing that comes to mind it is usally the right anwser just nobody wants to hear it its not P.C. well #uck P.C.!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 5

Usually there is a guide and it's called an older brother. I learned how to be a Grade A ****** from my older brother.
He treated me like crap and that's how I learned how to treat other people like crap, when I want to.

Answer 6

Well, I don't know of a guide, by Denis Leary has the ---hole song, you could pick up some pointers from that.

Answer 7

I can't say I ever studied to become an ***, it just happened that way. I am a smart *** asshole who loves to teach other people. I don't have a lesson plan but I'm sure I could help you out. SWF 22 AL [e-mail] Tracy

Answer 8

Read the biography of any member of the Bush Crime Family: George, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, Condi Rice, etc.

Answer 9

Is there a guide on how to become an a**hole ?

Actually, there isn't.
It is a genetic trait.
and everyone knows a**hole genes are dominant genes.

Answer 10

No, just search deep within you and your inner A**hole will come out =] nobody's a perfect little angel

Answer 11

Hey, MG - why on earth would you want to be one? Is it that work thing again? Please don't be, you're better than that and there are enough a**holes running around loose in the world as it is. Later...