I hate being a step mother?

Question

I recently got marred and my husband has custody of his two boys. I don’t have any children yet. Their mother doesn’t seem to want them she only picks them up on the weekends, Friday 7pm and drops them back Sun 11AM. What is the point of even picking them up? And I am so tired of his kids there always fighting and making noise. My husband promised me when we were dating that their mother would take them~~~ HA! Still didn’t happen. Women should keep their children because stepmother DONT want their kids either. My only concern is going to be my children!

Answer 1

Hey your not alone!!!!

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/2nd_wives_club/

Everyone always wants to make you feel like a heel for saying what you really think...but sometimes you just can't help how you truly feel!!! so long as you and your husband are on the same page...

If you need a good support group, we've got a kick *** one going!

Answer 2

Um, there isn't a good way to say this politely so I'll just blurt it out---DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN WITH THIS MAN! You were not in any way ready or willing to be married to him--he had children included--whether their mother had them most of the time or only some of the time. You obviously cannot handle it. Do yourself, your husband and his children a favor and get out now. Your letter only shows how immature, petty and selfish you are. There is nothing about what you are doing that you like, it's not going to change, so don't persist in making everyone around you miserable. If you felt like that you should have never married him in the first place. How can he look at you knowing how you feel about his kids?

Answer 3

you knew before you met your husband that he had children and you accepted them then, whether or not the mother picks them up is an issue that is between the two of them, granted you see these things going on and dont like it because they are over there most of the time but this is an issue that he has to deal with by himself. kids are going to be kids and when you have some they probaly will be the same exact way. maybe the mother just wants them to spend more time with their father she may have had them most of their life there is no telling who had most of them responsibility of the children before you came into the picture. it is not up to you to want these children just because youre a stepmom and are going through tough times gives no really no right to say you dont want your husbands children he is a package deal...if you and your husband were to have children and then get divorced your children would be related to the ones you cant stand and once you have children with a person you are tied to them no matter what no matter how irresponsible the other parent may be. does your husband know you feel the way you do about his children if he does he is probaly very unhappy with it and has doubts about having children with you in the future. if you cant handle these kids making noise how are you going to deal with your own, these children did not ask to be out in the situation they are in and you seem to be more irritated with the children more than the mother......

Answer 4

The last line of your post is the most alarming and telling: "My only concern is going to be my children." You should never have married a man with two kids if you feel that way. And that applies whether they are with you full time or just one day a week. These boys have already been through enough - their parents got divorced and it sounds like their mother is too busy with her own life to be bothered with them. If you cannot resolve this you need to get out before you do those boys additional, irreparable harm. Children fight and children make noise. If you can't handle that, you probably shouldn't have children of your own either.

Answer 5

well you shouldn't of gotten married until the kids went back with their mother. They are just kids and they didn't ask to be born and be put into this predicament. They are being kids making noises fighting etc etc. You had your choice and if you didn't want a partner with kids you should've stopped dating him once he told you he had kids. And as far as stepmothers not wanting someone Else's kids you knew what you were getting yourself into even if he told you that they were going back to their mother you took a chance. Be a better women even though they aren't yours and be good to them they are just kids remember what goes around comes around one day you'll have kids and god forbid something was to happen to you and another women has to take your place in raising them you would want them to be treated with lots of understanding, caring and lot's of love. so bottom line if you can't handle it and they are a part of him divorce him and let him know you have no patience and dislike the idea that you have to raise his kids if he's smart he'll give you a divorce and realize that a women that gets aggravated over kids making noise will have no patience with her own kids. Poor kids got dealt a bad hand with their own mother and then you come along and you're not any better. Sad very Sad

Answer 6

It is difficult being a stepmother with young boys. I have some personal experience having had two stepmothers after my mother died.

I would look at it as a chance to develop your parenting skills prior to having your own. Kids will fight and make noise especially boys.

You might want to speak with youer partner about what you can do. He loves his kids and will want to keep them. On the other hand, if you are stressing out and fighting with them, it isn't pleasant for anyone.

You will need to discuss it with him and possibly his exwife calmly and develop a solution that works for everyone including the kids.

Answer 7

That's pretty heartless and cold. I have a step-son and we're going to fight to get custody. I love him as if he was my own. These children were part of your husband's life long before you were, and I give him a lot of credit for having custody of them. Any man that would give up custody because of some girl is worthless. They are just as much his children as hers. If the "stepmother" DIDN'T want the kids, you shouldn't have married the guy!

Answer 8

I feel sorry for you. I know that kids can really get on your nerves. I know that my two nephews get on my nerves, I have no children, I do not want any children and will not date a man that has children. I do not have to put myself throw that and I will not. And it;s not that I'm a mean or selfish person it's just that everyone is not cut out to be a mother. My two nephews come to visit me, and we always have a good time, but they are loud and most of the time all over the place and that tends to get on my nerves so I'm always glad to see them go.

Answer 9

when you love someone you are suppose to love their good and bad stuff. but nevertheless you are here. now unless you are willing to divoice i said you can try the following.
Kids like to play, xbox is fun. you have access to your husband credit card. Buy the xbox and have them sit in front of the tv 24 hours a day. the kids will stop fighting and be happy with you. When they are hungry, just order pizza or kfc. You don't need to cook for those that you don't love, yet, mayber later you will love them later.
with just spending $400 of your husband money, i am sure he will be willing to pay that price just to make you a happier woman. if not, I heard Tiffany has good dimanod rings for sale.

Answer 10

Your husband shouldn't have made promises on behalf of his ex-wife. Have you tried bonding with the boys or do you just want them out of your way? They are going to resist you so you have to make extra effort to show that you care about them and that you won't take their dad from them. Good luck and try to have a stable home before you bring other kids into the mix.

Answer 11

You are selfish and undeserving! How can you say that about his children. You knew when you married him that he had kid's. You should be even a better step mom to them since their mother doesn't spend time with them. They didn't ask for you either. You will lose your husband if you are not careful. If you had to choose between your kids and your wife, your kids come first.