What's wrong with me?

Question

I have 4 wonderful children, 11,8,5,and 2. I'm tired of being a mommy. I love them all it's just that I deal with 4 different personalities everyday and they're all different. No one wants to share, no one likes to help one another, and everyone needs me. I need help.

Answer 1

Hi mamma, I am in the same boat as you. Plus, my children (especially older ones who are teenagers) are very unappreciative. I feel tired, and I feel like I need a life of my own outside of being a mom. The best of experts would tell us both that if we fill up our own emotional "gas tank" then we will have more "gas" to run on. more energy, more ultimately to give to our children.

In theory this is 100% true, and not at all selfish. But in order to do that, we need a support person to watch our kids while we have some "me" time. So, if you figure out any ideas let me know- and I will let you know too!

Wishing you peace, and more "you" time...

Answer 2

They are all three years apart. Was that planned? Not that it matters. Do you have a husband? Where is his part in all this?

I don't want to appear mean here, but you had to know that you were having these kids. Anyone with four kids needs help on a daily basis. Why didn't you use any form of birth control? It is so expensive to raise that many children. What happens when they are all involved in activities where you have to cart them here and there?

Yes, all people and that does include children have different personalities and different needs. None of them are alike. Do you have any kind of regiment at all? In order to survive you need rules and regulations. THEN you have to enforce them.

My four grandchildren were at my house yesterday. Their mother does nothing except yell. I would have a different approach and I don't mean spanking. That is the worst thing you can do.

You need some professional help to train you in how to control these kids and their behavior. I don't know how you have done it this long. Then I have a daughter that her kids are angels. It is all in the approach and training.

There is no other job that is as important as raising kids. You are molding people into what they will be the rest of their lives. Please get some help and get it today.

Answer 3

Sounds like you're a bit frustrated. Children need boundaries and also need to help out one another. Maybe play a game to get them to work for a common goal as a team. You could do special things for those who are nice to one another an help, which works because you're rewarding the good behavior. the "Catch 'em when they're being good" idea. Maybe you need to sit them together and tell them (older kids will understand better) that in your house they will need to start getting along and then take priviledges away if they're not complying.

Answer 4

i know exactly how you feel. i have 3 children that i am at home with all day every day, 24/7 20 days a week it feels like. it gets stressful. it makes you feel like you want to get a job to get away from your mommy job. there is nothing wrong with you. what you feel is perfectly normal. you need to get some time for yourself, at least once a week. do you have a sitter, or are you married? can someone watch your kids for you one day a week so you can have some mommy time? also, start setting up rules and boundries for your kids for when they get out of line. have sharing rules that each kid gets to pick a few of their toys that they do not have to share, and tell them to learn to share the rest. it makes them feel they have some kind of control instead of feeling like nothing they have is really theirs. the 2 year old you will have to make an exception for, of course, cause when they are that age, they think everything is theirs. if all else fails, call nanny 911. I dont know if they really work or not, but it would be worth it if you feel your kids are stressing you out to much. good luck and if you need another stay at home mom to vent to, feel free to contact me.

Answer 5

That's the thing about parenthood. No child is going to be the same. sometimes it will be hard. Sure you will be tired, but you can't stop being a mom. They do need you. And they always will. You need help parenting. You can get it. There are classes and other sources of help for you. Contact your local family planning center. They will find something that is right for you. And you can learn how to get cooperation from your children. Its not that you are a bad mom, please know that. It's just hard, for everybody.

Answer 6

I don't think anything is wrong with you. I am a 17 year old with two other siblings ages 12 and 21. You have described our situation about 4 years ago. I don't understand how my mother did it. Secretly we all love each other, but don't we don't dare tell one another. I do know that she somehow took vacations and had a hobby so that she wasn't always in the house with us. We don't regret her decision to have her time to herself, and you shouldn't either. If possible, find some activities that they can get into so you can have some sort of time to yourself. Good luck!

Answer 7

What's wrong with you? nothing that time away from your adorable babies won't cure.You/re human,everyone needs a break sometimes.I have five 30,26 21, 19 and my God sent 6yr.old,and they all get on my last shredded nerve sometimes,but I would NOT trade one second of my life with them.Your needs should be addressed NOW so you can enjoy the next phases that are sure to come.Hang in there my sister,and GOD Bless you all.(p.s. get hubbie, or some 1 close that you can trust to give you time off for good behavior!!) lol

Answer 8

we often come to know the real value of things when we loose it, same with your children.
If you want them to understand, the feeling of not being under the wings of the mother, try going out on a holiday without informing them but keep a close watch on them. May be that will help. But if you are a parent, its solely your responsiblity to teach them there are many people out of the house who wont get along with them and still they have to bear them. So try bearing the siblings, may be its the training for the outside world!

Answer 9

Nothing is wrong with you. If you have the extra money, perhaps a part time nanny would be good. There is nothing wrong with that at all. You are admitting these feelings, and that is wonderful. Don't keep them bottled up. You may want to talk to your husband too. He maybe able to give you extra help. God bless you and your family.

Answer 10

You are fine, Except it seems you need to spend more time with your children, understand them and find the common interests for a whole family, it will eventually bring all together.