Need your help again girls?

Question

IS this normal girls and how would you feel? Met a really nice guy and decided to make a go of it. He seems desperate to get me into bed, in fact overly desperate. But he has warned me under no circumstances must I show affection to him in front of friends, family or work colleagues! He says he's a private person.
2 weeks ago he threw me against a wall in town and very passionately kissed me. There must have been at least 50 people there but when I kissed him on the cheek in front of friends he did his nut and gave me a right bolicking. What do you think his problem is? I've asked and he says he's private. Do you think he is ashamed to tell anyone we are seeing each other?

It's mutual friends that he doesn't want me showing affection in front of. He won't hold my hand, hug even a kiss on the cheek in front of these people, but he jests with our other female friends and hugs them!

read rrt's answer and do you think he could be right? I am disabled and maybe he is ashamed of that?

Answer 1

Hey hun,....quite simply...He is going to use you then toss you aside. He doesn't respect you and isnt deserving of your time and efforts that you put into the relationship. Leave now, before the heartache gets too big.

Answer 2

Sounds interesting. Maybe the fact that the 50 people that were around when he kissed you were strangers made it "okay," but I highly doubt it. You have to consider every option. Maybe he is involved with someone else. I mean, I wouldn't think that he would take you around a bunch of people if that were the case, but you never know. Some people aren't that bright. Maybe he told everyone that you were just a friend, therefore, any affection between the two of you would blow his cover. He might just be very controlling, in which case I would get out of there ASAP! I have been in the controlling relationships before. They aren't fun at all. His privacy may be important to him, but if he is ONLY private when it comes to people he knows & not complete strangers, I'd be questioning that. Privacy is privacy. Even, or especially, when strangers are around, I would think he would be MORE private. Hope I helped. Good luck girl! -a-

Answer 3

I think everyone so far has an idea of what could be up with him. It could be any of the above things like married, also dating some one else, could be a control issue, freak or maybe he just wants to keep you off balance. Whatever the deal is with this guy, you should ask yourself, Do I want to be with someone privately that doesn't want to be with me publicly. When you decide on the answer to that question then you will know what to do. You need to determine what your worth is and how much crap you are willing to put up with. Good Luck.

Answer 4

For someone you know and who you arnt seeing-already he seems to be a bit of a control freak, and trying to control and manipulate your emotions and feelings for him? It seems to me like you dont know whether you are coming or going, and he wants to wear the "trousers" so to speak in this relationship? (even if it isnt a relationship?)

If he is "desperate" so to speak to get you into bed, then surely the warning signs should be there? he sounds like he could easily be quite domineering and controlling, and someone i wouldnt personally have a relationship with-despite him being a really "nice" guy. Its my guess, that long term-there isnt a long term. He seems from his attitude with you showing affection to him in public-that he wants to remain single, and to keep the "affection" between you both, between the bed sheets and in the bedroom! I dont think he wants a relationship at all?

I dotn think he is ashamed of you, but that perhaps he wants a fling-and so he is still showing that he is single in front of other women-which is why in particular he is affectionate to other women-which is wrong if he hasnt told you what he wants from you-whether it be a fling or a relationship?

I would be quite wary of him-and frankly, id just ask him outright what he wanted from me-a passionate fling, or a relationship. It really depends on what you both want out of the siuation, but i get the feeling that you want something much more serious?

i think you should see someone who isnt afraid to hug or kiss oyu in public for fear that his now "single" status in gone, and you have mutual control over each other.

Good luck!

xx

Answer 5

Deep down inside he might think you are ugly and you smell and he would be ostracized amongst his friends and family members because maybe he thinks you are nasty, but, he still wants to bang your beaver, yet he thinks around people he doesn't know, he can work on getting into your pants and nobody important will notice. My Dad was a pimp and my mom was his Ho and he once told me--putang don't have no face, so bang as many as you can while you can. Ohhhbviously he is ashamed, but he wants to bust a nut all up in you

Answer 6

he seems a control freek, i'd do it all the more. Are you sure he's not seeing another girly that only his freinds know about and doesnt want them finding out your seeing him incase they slip up infornt of her? Play him at his own game and shy off a bit. he'll soon come running with his tail between his legs. Dont give up on the sex thing though, sounds like thats all he wants. Make him wiat until the time is right and he starts behaving normal

Answer 7

If you were the other girl he wouldn't have kissed you in front of other people like that because then his first could've been anyone of those 50 people. Why don't you ask him about it maybe hes one of those guys who would prefer for him to do most of the work. But if he wants to get in your pants that bad caution, People like this you have to be careful of.

Answer 8

I thnk he has mental problems because if he can make out with you in front of 50 people why cant you kiss him on the cheek in front of 5 people?

Answer 9

okay it depends what kind of affection..i'm kind of private about that too...but if he won't hold your hand or hug u or even kiss in front of people there's something wrong...i'm not talking making out all the time in front of people cause that gets old...having to watch people do that..but if he doesn't want any physical contact then thats just not right.Will he even hold your hand in public or touch u at all?If he went off on u about kissing his cheek he has problems...cause thats just wierd....
It does kind of sound like he doesn't want anyone to know your dating...Does he at least introduce u as his girlfriend?Cause if not i wouldn't date him.He's not normal.

Answer 10

Hay Hun, a guy can answer this question to ya know..lol!!

From what you have written, something does not feel right about this guy!! He in your own worlds is over eager to get you in the sack ... slams you against a wall and snogs you, while no doubt having a good grope as well in town, with strangers about: but totally freaks out when friends are around, and no doubt treats you like a lepper!!

I really don't understand how this can be a 'Nice Guy'... sounds to me a controlling, manipulative, wants his cake and eat it, total dip S***!! It's guy's like him, that give guy's like me: a bad name!!

Well he is either:-

1. married.
2. seeing someone else.
3. has something else to hide.
4. is ashamed to be seen or associated with you.
5. Or is a total fruit cake!!

Either way... do you really want to be with a guy, who treats you as you have written: and not as someone he is delighted and proud to be seen out with on his arm, and associated with?? Are you not worth more than a prick like him?

Dump him and find a guy who wants you and loves you as you are, and is proud to be with you!! oxoxoxo Good luck & God Bless.

Answer 11

if he can't let you express your love for him in simple sweet ways in front of his family and friends there is a major problem. He is hiding something.... perhaps he is already seeing someone his freinds and family openly know about and they think you are just a "friend." He probably only kissed you in poublic because he knew there was none around there that knew him. Sounds fishy.