How long is to long to wait for someone to commit?

Question

I have been on and off with this guy for about 3 or 4 yrs....we are great friends who date and have sex every now and then....when is time to tell him commit or go away? I have tried to but I can't leave him and he knows this

Answer 1

he is just using you for sex, go find a real man

Answer 2

If the chemistry is good and the guy is not a player... and he is serious about finding a life partner and not playing around...... he should commit within weeks. If it's been about 2 months and he's still acting like he's single..give him a chance to see if he's ready to be exclusive , and if he's not, dump him. You'll be saving a lot of heart ache in the future.

Answer 3

If you were commited to him and he knows that, Let him know that you would like the same from him. Remember commucation is the most important things in a relationship. Talk to him and let him know how you feel the relationship should go. It takes two to make it work. Or you can start seeing other people and he'll realize that he'll need to commit to you.

Answer 4

It's already been too long. By a man not committing to you he is giving himself an easy way out. He can date other women and if you should find out he can tell you that you are not committed. Grrrrr... I've been in this situation before.

Answer 5

when it seems like you are waiting for nothing.

for example, when there doesn't seem to be a reasonable excuse for him/her not to commit and yet he/she is not doing it or keeps putting it off; or if the person cannot elaborate why "it isn't the right time yet".

here is where the phrase "if you love someone, let them go" comes in. sometimes, when you let the person go, it gives them enough breathing space to realize one of two things: that they really cannot stand living without you or the other way around -- they were just thankful you have let them go.

warning: if you are going to follow this saying, prepare yourself and make sure you can handle whatever the outcome is.

Answer 6

Weel it sounds like you are friends that have no strings attached sex together. You hang out together and now you think it should lead to something.
You need to tell him what your thinking.
Is it really a problem for you to have a guy thats OK with having sex with you so that he or you can help each other get over the urge?

Answer 7

You'll know when it is right. You can't put a time frame on it. Depends if they love you or not. If they cannot live without you it should be fairly short but if they go to the other end of the spectrum then it could be a lot longer or never.

Answer 8

By commit, do you mean monogamy or marriage? If you mean monogamy, then it should be as soon as you both think you want something serious, which should be like right after a couple of dates, maybe a month or two. By marriage or engagement, I think one year is plenty of time to start talking about marriage.

Answer 9

it depends on how you feel about the person and where you are in your life right now. how serious are you about him? if you are feeling impatient or getting the feeling that he may never be ready to settle down with you it might be time to look for someone else. just go with that feeling in your gut. if youre unhappy waiting then move on. if he is willing to lose you rather than commit its for the best anyways.

Answer 10

Each person has their own idea of what is a long time before engagement or marriage. You just have to figure out how long you want to be with someone before marrying them - then talk to your partner about it. I would say anywhere between 2-3yrs is enough time to at least get engaged.

Answer 11

1 yr