What would you do?? ( in-laws)?

Question

I am almost 4 months pregnant. When we found out that we were pregnant ( which wasn't planned & we are married) we told our parents. Both my in-laws and Sister - in- law, told me that I needed to get an abortion because it wasn't planned and my hubby dosen't have the greatest job in the world. They said that they wouldn't talk to us if we didn't get the abortion. And if we didn't we are being very selfish. I said no way! This is our child that was conceved in love. Now the in-laws are totely mad at me and they want my husband to divorce me ( he is totely supportive of us keeping the baby) They say I have ruined his life and they don't want to have anything to do with this child.
We have an almost 3 year old son, that my in-laws still want to have contact with, they just don't want to have anything to do with the child I am carrying right now! The thing is that when my son was 6 weeks old my mom-in-law left him alone in his stroller outside a store by him self! Any suggestions?

Should we not have them in our lives at all! Or am I the selfish one? I will not kill this child. I think my husband is giving up on them. And what shall I tell my kids when they are old enough to understand?

Or should I try to save the relation ship with my inlaws so that our kids have 2 sets of grandparents?

Answer 1

Your IL's are WHACK!!! I wouldn't let them have anything to do with my kids. If they can't support the marriage, they can't pick and choose which kids of yours they like, and which they don't. That is absurd and abusive.
6 years down the road....Grandma comes into town to take big brother to the movies. Your daugher cries saying "Momma, why doesn't grandma love me too?" HEARTBREAKING!!!

I'd say NO WAY. You and Husband need to take a stand hand-in-hand. You are a married couple, and a family unit. And your interest is in protecting that bond. The relationship with the In-Laws is no where NEAR as important as the relationship between you and your husband and children. DO NOT sacrifice that.

Protect your Marriage and Babies.

Answer 2

First of all your mother in law is unreliable. And anybody who has enough nerve to tell you to have an abortion is only concerned about themselves. I would totally cut them off at some point they'll come around, but make it perfectly clear as to how you feel about how things are going to be and remeber "love is the glue that holds the world together" I got that from a fortune cookie. Good luck!!!

Answer 3

I agree with several of the previous posters. Have your husband tell the in-laws that unless they stop with the meddling advice, that they will have limited contact with any of you. You don't need additional stress while pregnant. And in general, I would not allow the in-laws to have any of the kids in an unsupervised situation. One of you should always be with them, based on the experience with the 6-week old. It may cut into your baby-sitting options, but the health of your kids is at stake.

Answer 4

Alright that was just plain RUDE of them to tell you to abort this child. I would totally read them off if these where my in-laws, how dare they say such a thing to you. You don't need people around your children. Its sad that you would have to do this more sad because its your hubby's family but I would refuse to have any more contact with them. Its their lost you guys are probably better of without them. Good Luck and Congratulations on your Pregnancy.

Answer 5

Uh, if I were you, I'd say something to the tune of, "F*ck you...this is my and my husband's baby. YOU don't have to raise him. YOU don't have to pay the bills. YOU don't have to buy the diapers, formula, daycare, etc. I think you should mind your own business. You didn't help create this baby, and you certainly won't have to see him. While you're at it, say goodbye to (insert older child's name here) because you'll never be seeing him again after today. If you can't accept my unborn baby as your grandchild, then you can't accept (insert older child's name here) as your grandson, either."

Then again, I'm incredibly spiteful and vindictive when it comes to people p*ssing me off. I'm not a violent person, and I don't yell, but I have a mouth on me that can be mighty hurtful at times. This is mild...

Answer 6

Screw them. When will you have enough money to have another child? Should you have them set a dollar amount? If you have enough money to support one child I can't see that you couldn't clothe and shelter another. From what you say, this seems to be more of a lifestyle choice and not a matter of life or death. If you and ur husband want it, you need to be strong and keep the child.

Answer 7

Sparky was right, God doesn't make mistakes, are you going to let those jerks talk you into killing your baby? That baby will love you like those jerks selfish ignorant insensitive people never will. Cut off all contact with them immediately. To be honest, if hubby's job isn't that great, I'd ask him to look for a new one, and I'd move, change my phone # and everything, and would not let them know about it, I'd just up and move, no forwarding address. I had inlaws like that once, and they thought they could control him all the way down to naming my baby. They don't sound like they have any sense, they need to take care of their own lives rather than controlling yours. I can't believe I'm sitting here getting all angry over this, but what they said to you was SO WRONG! You have every right to totally cut them off. And you don't have to feel guilty about it, because what they told you was pretty major. And I wouldn't even feel guilty about your almost 3 year old not getting to see his grandparents anymore, I would think of it as doing a favor to him because he wouldn't have to put up with their ignorance. And think of how your next child will feel, knowing that he is unloved and unwanted by them? It will have a major impact on his/her life. Kids know who love them and who doesn't. And what about Thou shalt not kill? They sound like awful people to be around, protect your children at all cost! Good luck, don't let them get to you, and if you don't have the strength of character to do it for yourself, do it for your children. You are not being selfish, and I'll bet almost everyone says to cut them off, that's what I would do. If you can't think of a decent way of explaining it by the time their old enough to ask, say they are dead. I would. (And yes, I know another commandment that talks about lying, but quite frankly, they would be dead to me.)

Answer 8

sure have an abortion and then when mothers day tell me how you will feel knowing you killed your baby for your in laws.your baby not your in laws baby. how could they ask you to do a stupidthing. kill an innocent baby. you can do it, if you love each other you dont need them. how did you ruin his life? by getting pregnate? was he not there? i mean come on if they are paying your bills and putting food in your mouth then they have something to say but even then it is your body and your and your hubbys decision. dont let them tell you what to do, dont let them tell you to ge rid of this baby, iyou dont need them in your life anyway, as long as you have your hubby, dont mention this to your baby when he/she gets older, they dont needto know this, for now deal with the problem at hand, have this aby and be happy without inlaws.god luck.

Answer 9

cut them off, they aren't worth the time you're spending on this question. they're selfish idiots and don't deserve to be in your life.

to answer your updates: no, i would not try to have a relationship with them. they are demanding you abort a child and have demanded that your husband divorce you. they have overstepped their place and they have no business in your life. what's next? they obviously don't give a damn about you, your husband, or your children. they aren't worth your time and quite frankly, i wouldn't want people like that around my children AT ALL.

Answer 10

If both you and your hubby wants this baby keep it and tell them in no uncertain term that this baby is an unexpected gift from god and that you are sorry for them that they could be so cruel and unkind to this precious gift. If they continue to push the issue faze them out of your life.