wedding question?

Question

would it be really evil if i told my cousin if she didint lose weight she cant be a bridesmaid??? i have picked out dresses....and i want them all to wear the same style but that style doesnt come in her size....i dont know wat to do....i dont wanna sound like a b*t*h but how can i tell her????

oh and im the one paying for the dresses and i found a few people who can make the same dress in her size but its almost double the price...should i ask her to pay half

i have no other choice but to go with this dress cause the 2 of the other girls are like 2 x 4 super skinny and nothing else fits on them

Answer 1

. One of my bridesmaids was very pregnant at my wedding. And they did not have the dress I chose in a maturnity style. So I decided instead to pick a 2 piece gown for her. They actually had some styles, colors, and materials very simular to the dresses I had already picked out. Why don't you check those out with her. Then you won't have to tell she needs to lose weight. You could even tell her that you want her to have a "special" dress for your wedding since she is your "special" cousin. Then you don't have to wory about hurt feelings.

Answer 2

So your willing to keep the super skinny girls and ditch the overweight cousin? Thats pretty sad considereing they are all having problems making dresses fit somehow. I'm not sure, but last I remember, dresses can be taken in for the skinny ones and if they cant fit into another dress because they are that skinny then I suggest you get them some help and that they start eating. Dresses come in tons of sizes and if you asked your cousin to be in the wedding its rude to tell her to loose weight. How would you like if your fiance said he wouldnt marry yo uinless you lost some weight before the wedding? Get the dress made for her so find something different. Stop being so shollow.

Answer 3

If you were a real friend to your cousin you would find a dress similar to the others in the same color but in her size. Otherwise you are stuck either leaving her out of the wedding, or picking different bridesmaid dresses! The etiquette rule of thumb is that when picking a dress you go by the largest girl! The rest of them will look great in it too.

Answer 4

That is super harsh! I have a bridesmaid that is pretty big, so when I went shopping I picked out a bunch of dresses and then tried them out on her first. I made my decision off that, because I didn't want anyone to be uncomfortable. You would actually exclude your own cousin because of a stupid dress? And then you want her to pay 1/2 because she's bigger? Wow! Where do I sign up to be in your bridal party? What a great friend you are! Shallow! Why can't you just find a dress that accomodates everyone instead of embarassing her, chances are she knows she's overweight. I bet if she read this, she wouldn't even want to be in your dumb wedding.

Answer 5

Yes, You cannot tell her she needs to lose weight in order to be a bridesmaid and not BE a B--- .Your bridesmaids are supposed to be your closest friends. Since Bride maids normally pay for their own dresses she might be willing to have one made in her size on the other hand if that would be beyond her budget perhaps she would bow out if you asked, No matter how important your wedding day is your friend ships and relationships are more important in the long run than matching bridesmaids

Answer 6

First of all, I would spill red wine on your dress if you told me I was out if I didn't lose weight. Unbelievable. Why would you ask her in the first place??
If you state it like that, she'll be offended. I was in a wedding and the bride was inconsiderate and picked a dress that didn't come in my size. I had to but a dress, buy more fabric and have it altered and it cost me lots. I would have rather been a guest because the dress looked hideous on me. I hated every part of the day. But, if she had said I needed to lose weight in order to be in her wedding, I would have been devastated.

Tell her that the cost of making her dress is considerably more than the others and let her make the decision of paying for it, or stepping out.

Answer 7

Let's assume you want to ask your cousin to be a bridesmaid because she is a special family friend to you with whom you want to share your special day. If that is the case, then you need to accommodate the dress situation for her. If she is close to the largest size available, perhaps the dress can be altered to fit her. If she is considerably outside the dress size limit, perhaps one could be made that is similar or complementary to the style to fit her. If the aesthetics of your picture are more important than including her in your wedding party, then I hope you haven't asked her yet to be a bridesmaid. Ask someone else.

Answer 8

I think you are wrong for asking her to be a bridesmaid and not choosing a dress that will work for her. If you knew in the begining your bridesmaids had different body types you should have choses different style dresses with the same color and fabric type. Yes it would be completely wrong of you, not to mention very hurtful.

Answer 9

Have you considered ordering the dress in the largest size and purchasing more material to have the dress altered to her size? This way, her feelings won't be hurt from your request that she loose weight, and she will also be wearing the same dress as the other girls.

I can tell you from personal experience that nothing hurts worse than when some one else looks at you and says, "You need to loose weight."

Answer 10

Why don't you just hire some professional models for bridesmaids? You can order them from an agency just like ordering a dress, and get whatever size and color makes YOU look good. You'll have the best wedding photos ever!

Answer 11

You might be able to tactfully tell her that they don't make the dress in her size and leave it up to her to make a conclusion.

You can also look into buying material from the dress manufacturer and having a seamstress make a dress for her. That's what I did for one of my bridesmaids who was 9 months pregnant at the time.