I am going to seriously start potty training my son tomorrow 6/20/06 and need some good advice?

Question

I have a 3 year old boy and I am a stay at home mom with his dad working 2 jobs so dad isn't here a lot. I have read a lot about potty training boys and having dad do it but I don't have that option here. I really want my child out of pull ups and soon. He starts school in Aug and I don't want him in pull ups. He will sit on the potty and do nothing. He stands from time to time as well. As he is sitting on the potty and he thinks he has to go he will ask me to put a pull up on him. If he is just playing around the househe tells me he is wet or stinky after the fact. Bribes don't work, letting him run around naked doesn't work, watching potty videos and reading books doesn't seem to interest him enough to go. I am dealing with a real stubborn child and just like other children "NO" is his favorite word Starting tomorrow we are going to really really start training but I need some serious advice, maybe some proven advice, tricks of the trade or whatever, just help!!!

Answer 1

First of all, ditch the pull ups with the exception of nap or bed time. Big boy underwear only, most kids don't like to stay wet for long. Take him to the potty about every half hour and let him sit there for a good 10 minutes. Have a sticker chart and preset goals and rewards. Everytime he goes in the potty, let him pick a sticker and put it on the chart. When he reaches a certain goal, then give him his reward. You are lucky, you can stay home and work with him. Be consistant, don't give up and go back to the pull ups because you are frustrated. He will get it. My husband has disablities and couldn't train our son, so I know what it is like to have people tell you to "tell dad to do it!"
I wish you luck, been there and done that...

Answer 2

ok you and I are in the same boat I think my daughter was so strong willed when it came to the potty training thing I thought I would never get it all done but I tell you it does happen...yea!!! I have read everything here and all of it is good advice and all will help you but I think the one thing that is really missing is the stubborn part all I can say is the moment that we got it done was the moment that my daughter decided that she wanted to wear a certain kind of big girl underwear we had already bought her all different kinds but she wanted these particular ones, so I deiced to tell her no she could not have them because she would just have an accident in them, that she could not have them till she was a big girl and used the potty all the time. You know after that day she never had another accident, not one. So my advice is find something that he really really wants and tell him that only big boys that go potty in the potty get to play/have that, don't even buy it and tell him he can have it only when he goes potty in the potty, and trust me it has to be something that he really wants you know the ones they throw fits over that is what will do the trick. The more stubborn they are the harder it is because it is all about when they want to do it but like I said I made it you will too. Hang in there you will get it and so will he.

Answer 3

OK does he have to be potty trained to go to school? Does he have to go to school? Heres why I ask: I have 3 boys and with my oldest (now 13) had the same exact problem but i was determined to train him since EVERYONE! kept saying "He's not potty trained YET!" or "my little Susie (insert any name you like here) was trained at 18 mo, or 24 mo or 2 1/2." Finally after several weeks of total frustration, for both of us, I put the diapers back on and forgot about it. When he was 3 1/2 i tried again. It took 1 week and he was totally trained - through the night, nap....everything. AND he only ever had 1 accident (while awake, of course all kids occasionally wet the bed). With my 2nd son i waited till he was 3 1/2 (gritting my teeth and smiling through all the "he's not trained yets) and same thing it took 2 weeks and it was through the nite, nap and everything and he also had only a few accidents. Very simalar with the 3rd although he was 3 not 3 1/2 but i think that was because he wanted to be like his brothers. He is almost 4 and he still will have the occasional accident although he never wets the bed.

2 things, with my oldest i think he did not want to sit down because thats what girls do and we had to wait until he was tall enough to stand. 2nd thing i think at 3 1/2 they just have more muscle control and a longer attn. span. Good luck with the potty training. Just rember you don't see 10 year olds in diapers it will come so try not to stress yourself.

Answer 4

I was VERY LUCKY with my son - he was trained by 23 months. We used 1/2 pack of Pull-Ups and zero accidents. As soon as he started acting interested in what Dad or I was doing in the bathroom, I told him he could do it when he was older and acted like he shouldn't be interested in it (gets 'em every time!).
Once he was successful going once, I took a picture of him on the potty and made it into a poster that I hung on the wall outside the bathoroom. Every time he went, I gave him a sticker to put on the poster - after about 1 1/2 months, he would tell me hedidn't need a sticker anymore. At 4 1/2 years, he is still proud of that poster! Good luck!

Answer 5

A lot of people give the “cheerio” advice which at this stage I think is silly – he’s not missing the toilet he’s just not using it. Usually boys start out sitting when the pee because they just aren’t tall enough and sometimes that’s just one more thing to frustrate him when he’s learning.

First thing is to take him straight to the potty when he wakes up (after night time and naps), if he has been dry all night he will surely have to go in the morning. I did the rewards system at first with my child (gave him a sticker) but soon gave that up, most health professionals will tell you not to give the child a treat or whatever that the going to the potty like a big kid is the reward. So cheer and clap and make a big deal when he goes. I tried to potty train my son when he was not quite two and a half, he was pretty advanced in most areas and seemed interested in the potty. It turned out to be too early. He ended up holding his bowl movements and getting constipated so I stopped trying to potty train and just trying to get him to have regular BM's -TMI I know :)! So about 4 months before my sons 3 year b-day he was doing better with his BM and I could get him to go number 2 on the big potty if I caught him in his I am about to go squat so I figured he was now ready to start potty training again. I didn't mess around with pull ups I just put him in underwear (my secret was I put a thin panty liner in his underwear so if he did have an accident it wasn't that bad). I would then have him go to the bathroom every 20 mins and try and go most times he could squeeze a little out. After a couple of days with no accidents I would wait longer and longer between trips to the bathroom. After a while he started holding it on his own and I could then tell when he had to go and I would take him. He was fully potty trained in less than 5 days. If he won’t go to the bathroom and is intentionally peeing himself have him clean it up. Pull the shorts and underwear off himself and walk them to the laundry room. Give him a washcloth and tell him he has to clean himself up and then get dressed again. Give him a bath at the end of the day. After a while he will get tired of cleaning himself up and being in wet underwear. underwear are the key though and consistancy once he's in them he's in them, no more pull-ups.

I think what worked best for us was making sure he was really ready and putting him in underwear. I did use pull up during nap and bedtime for about 3 weeks but when he always woke up dry and put him in underwear to sleep in and he has done great. The "big boy" underwear act as a great reward for using the potty if he is having too many accidents you can tell him he has to go back to the baby diaper (not a pull-up) until he earns the underwear back by staying dry. GOOD LUCK!

Another good point is to be patient, getting frustrated with him for peeing on the couch will only make him more anxious. They don't want to disappoint so you just state things matter of fact, 1 time is an accident 2 times means we need to put baby diaper back on until we can stay dry.

Answer 6

Use real underwear and don't punish if he has an accident. Just tell him he will stay dry if he uses the potty. Unless he is really tall then standing to pee will be difficult for a while probably until he is 4. Don't pressure him and be patient. Those pull ups really make things hard because kids can't feel when they are wet only use them when you guys are out of the house and on the go.I reward with m&m's for good efforts and success.

Answer 7

Take him by his school (maybe even pop in for a visit) and tell him "You get to go here when you can use the bathroom everytime." Don't help him or make an issue out of it. He is in control. Put him in clothing that he can easily get on and off by himself. Put him in some "big boy" underwear. Get him a step stool so he can get onto the adult toilet. Children like to use things that are real. When you see him doing the "potty dance" say "It looks like you need to use the bathroom." Give it no more attention than that. If he soils himself, hold him completely responsible for the clean up. He can rinse out his wet clothing, put them in the laundry, dry any wet area, wash himself, and put on clean clothing. He soon will learn that it is much easier to use the bathroom. Good luck!

Answer 8

If your child is a boy...take some cherrios and throw them in the toilet and he will think it's pretty neat to "aim for the cheerios" and reinforce..these are the "flushing cheerios"....and for the sitting down deal we had a jar of treats they got to pick from, for every successful "venture" from "tooting" in the bowl to an actual "bm"..I have 5, it works....my girl..she potty trained herself...

Answer 9

I like child psychologist John Rosemund's method. The title pretty much says it all: A weekend, a few packages of cheap t-shirts, and $75. Children do not like the feeling of their own urine or feces running down their legs. The $75 is for renting a steam cleaning machine when it's all finished.

Answer 10

I think of it as training a puppy .........I would take him often and ask him if he needs to go...I used Cheerios in the potty and told my son to aim at the cereal it was more like a game and after awhile he was asking to go.