What can I expect when he comes home from afghan?

Question

I am a girlfriend of a soldier in afghan & want to make our relationship work but dont know what to expect when he comes home from war?

Answer 1

we don't know sorry

Answer 2

I think aurastin hit it right on the nose! Unfortunately, I had the privilege of going to Kosovo, Green Zone (Baghdad), and Afghanistan all in the past five years as a contractor. What aurastin explains is not just for Service Members, but for anyone who has experienced such an environment.

My biggest problem when i finally came home was that the slightest little thing pissed me off..

Answer 3

When I returned from Iraq my girlfriend at the time had many of the same questions as well. So I will list a bit of advice from what I learned about myself because I'm certain he will feel the same way in most cases.

1. He may be wondering if you were faithful to him the entire time he was gone. One of the things many soldiers worry about when they are deployed is if their girlfriend, or wife is spending time with another man. Do not be the one who brings this topic up, however if it does come up you should be honest with him, and let him establish on his own if he believes you.

2. Do not ask him about things like firefights, how many people he shot, how many friends he lost, how many bodies he saw, or anything else related to war. There is a chance he didn't see any of this, but if he did let him be the one to bring it up. If he appears to be bothered by something ask him to talk about it with you as much as he wants.

3. He may seem removed or distant as well. This has nothing to do with you. Rememeber he just spent time in a hostile environment only able to trust a limited amount of people. He may be skittish around sudden loud noises. He might watch every thing around him as much as he can when driving, or walking down a street. This isn't paranoia it is just the after affects of combat, a soldier gets used to being ready at all times and this carrys over for a while when they return. If it doesn't fade away after about two months or so then he may need to speak to someone at mental health because he could be suffering from PCSD ( Post Combat Stress Disorder ). Many soldiers including myself suffer from it a bit, however in extreme cases you need to be understanding, and encourage him to get help.

4. Give him his space, let him go out with his friends, let him spent time doing the things he likes alone if necessary. Support him at Military functions, and do things that arent too routine for him surprise him a bit.

Thats just a bit of advice I can give you there. Hope it helps you out. Overall don't worry about it too much, I'm sure things will be just fine for you.

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And on a side note ignore what people like "sochiswim" have written. He has no idea what he is talking about. The fact is before your man even comes home he will recieve a short reintegration training to get him ready for return to the non combat life, and when he returns he will also have mandatory reintegration training that you can go to with him if you like.

Answer 4

Basically when he gets back he's going to be re-adjusting back which may take a couple months. He may possibly be walking around and looking for his weapon that he doesn't have, looking for VBIED's while driving down the road, looking for IED's, or land mines, and may possibly respond to loud bangs like muffler's going off and thinking it's an explosion.

Just give him some time and be there for him. He may have changed somewhat due to the living conditions and the environment that he was living in.

You was probably use to him being around and when he was gone, you got stuck on doing things by yourself. So look at yourself and remind yourself that he's back, because whether you realize it yourself, you've changed some too.

Answer 5

First of all, I think that sochiswim is a moron.

I spent 13 months in Balad, Iraq for all of 2004 and some change. Hands down it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I don't want to go into a lot of detail here but if you want to email me I'll tell you about my experience. Let me know. -T

Answer 6

I would expect a man that has seen more than he knows how to deal w/. being right by his side and still being here when he gets back is supportive but make sure you stay sensitive of what may have happened to him and let him talk about it in his own time. I would say tend to his needs if you really want to make it work. It'll be hard but if you love him it'll work

Answer 7

DeploymentLink offers information on how family and friends can cope with soldiers abroad coming home, here is the link to their website, http://deploymentlink.osd.mil/deploy/post_deploy/post_deploy_intro.shtml. Resources are split into each branch of the military.

Answer 8

All I can say is that going to war changes a man, he won't be the same person he was when he left. Be patient, get to know him all over again, and see what happens.

Answer 9

Prepare to be beaten up. Soldiers are the most likely to engage in domestic violence. During their training, they are taught to be savage animals. Be ready to protect yourself. Many studies verify this information. Or call your local domestic abuse hotline.

Answer 10

Hopefully a heroes welcome....God Bless the USA and troops.