My soon to be sister-in-law is a copycat...?

Question

I may just be being silly but you tell me..I know every girl dreams of their wedding day and they have it all planned out in their heads..right?? Well my brother is getting married in a little over 2 weeks. I spoke with my soon to be sister-in-law and she asked to me to be in charge of the music. I agreed to do so and I asked her what bridal processional did she want along with the bridal party processional and the recessional song. She said the same ones you had. I just got married a little over a year ago and she came to my wedding and it was the 1st time I met her. I don't know those songs were kind of special to us and our wedding day. Although the songs were traditional ones. I used Ave Maria for the bridal party processional and I used Trumpet Voluntary for my processional. For the recessional I used a fun song "Signed, Sealed, Delivered. She wants to use all the same songs. She also asked me to use my dress and veil. Am I being silly? Any advice?

I thought about using the same songs just different versions of it. I did voice my concerns to her about using the same music. I also said well the dress may not fit you. It was altered to fit me and we only have 2 weeks to get it perfect for her.

The thing is is she is in a totally different statethan me. I am only arriving 2 days before their wedding. I don't think she understand the time that goes into altering a wedding dress. She is shorter than me and the dress was long on me. It is a poofy princess like dress that takes time to alter.

Answer 1

I think that's just weird. First I would take it as a compliment, but I would still be a little offended. But all in all it is her wedding. I know that's not what you want to hear, but your wedding was special and now you get to make her wedding special.

As far as the dress, I would put my foot down. You are right there is no time. In fact there isn't much time to get another either. That was yours and unless you plan to consign it or pass it on to your daughter( if there is or will be one) you have no obligation to share that precious object.

Answer 2

How can it be 2 weeks to go and she hasn't found a dress yet? This should have been a major priority for her. Maybe I am being naive in guessing this, but maybe she isn't into the wedding planning "thing". Help her find alternatives and quick! Take her to a bridal shop and find some music on-line. Maybe if she sees some alternatives already picked out for her, she'll like those better. She probably just doesn't know what she's doing, or maybe just didn't care about the music. The dress however, may have been a financial concern. I've found a beautiful dress at David's Bridal for $400. But with such a small time-frame you need to act now. Look on line at dresses, and make an appointment so you can really streamline it. They should be able to sell you something right in the store. Good luck!

Answer 3

Okay. So that is weird. You can't do much about Ave Maria and Trumpet Voluntary but the little bit with Signed,Sealed Delivered is OVER the LINE! Same for the dress and veil. NO dice! I might suggest to her that this song was a special thing between you and your spouse. Encourage her to find her own little joke song or find one for her. She obviously looks up to you and wants her wedding to be perfect, just like yours was. Try to see the lighter side, she wants to be just like you. Help her out! Suggest another song. Help her to shop for another dress. Or help her check the classifieds for a dress at lower cost. Take it as a compliment.

Answer 4

People can say that it's flattering until the cows come home - but I agree with you in it being uncomfortable and you feel almost angry about it. Our friends who got married 6 months after us used the same toasting glasses, the same songs, and even tried to model some of the food after ours - all unbeknownst to us until we were sitting there. I remember being irritated and rolling my eyes.

If she's truly lost, offer to help her find different things. Explain that the wedding should be special to them, not what was special to you, and that you'd be happy to help her find different music - that yours was really special to you. If she persists, you'll have to either bow out from your role, or begrudingly do it. You can either be angry the entire wedding, especially when they laugh at your recessional song, or you can prepare yourself to let her have her day - even if it is a copycat day of yours.

Good luck in this!

Answer 5

One of my best friends did the same thing to me...even went as far as using the EXACT same programs!!! The old saying goes that "imitation is the biggest form of flattery." Take it has a huge compliment and know most of the people at her wedding probably attended yours and will probably realize they have seen this wedding before!

Answer 6

Try to convince her that she should have her own style wedding and it won't be special if she copies everything you do. And about ur dress if she insists on wearing it, make a few alterations so that it looks different.

Answer 7

It perchance stressful yet you're adults, no longer highschool women. So what in case you position on a similar outfit? that's going to be a praise. Theres no longer a lot you may do with out hurting your courting which includes her or your brother (because hed take her aspect) Suck it up... and merely see it as you may be some style of trend setter.

Answer 8

if you are not comfortable with her doing it then tell her so. better to be up front and open about it now then hold a grudge for the next 30 years. She also sounds as thought she may just not know what to do, and what is traditional and what isn't.

Answer 9

She was so moved by your wedding that she wants the same thing. Be flattered and let her wear your dress and veil.

Answer 10

I used the same songs as my sister-in-law & brother did in my wedding...I certainly hope she didn't think I was copying her...I just had no clue what to have!