2006-06-19 09:13:31 · 13 answers · asked by Tara B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First of all, BREATHE! Ask her to tell you, in her own words, what happened. Then tell her what you KNOW to be true. If you saw her, tell her. If someone else saw her, maybe they are mistaken. But mostly breathe and let her know that you love her. If YOU know she did it, you must punish her. For example, if the family is going to an amusement park, she should stay home for the day. Or, maybe you can make her be your "gofer" for a whole day. I know that made my children totally miserable to be at my beck and call for a day. It made them think twice next time. It is difficult to stick with, but she must now prove herself to be trustworthy again. She must be a little jealous of the Ipod. Does she have a way to earn things like that for herself? That might prevent her from feeling like stealing it is the only way to get things like that. If she is normally a pretty good kid, don't worry too much. This too shall pass. Good Luck.
2006-06-19 09:30:33 · answer #1 · answered by kjp 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How was she caught?
If by someone else, and you didn't see it, there is a POSSIBILITY that someone besides your daughter is not being honest. I've seen cases where parents lie and their kids have lied. Or someone could have misinterpreted your daughter's actions. You need to make sure that she knows that you are willing to listen to all the evidence, including her side, before passing judgment. If there's any doubt, you should take it into account in your punishment (see below).
If you caught her, or the evidence really seems absolute, then you had better make a stand now that such behavior will not be tolerated. This means punishment. Yes, it will make you very unpopular with the kid, but you are her PARENT, not some buddy. If you don't instill values in her, don't be surprised if her future transgressions get worse and worse.
2006-06-19 16:21:18 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. October 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and talk to her about the situation - tell her that everyone knows it as a fact that she was stealing, that there is no denying it. Let her know that you still love her, but that you want to know why she was stealing. Ask her to be honest with you about why she would want to steal - especially from a family member. She is probably embarassed and doesn't want to admit to what she did - but she needs to admit it, so talk with her until she understands that people can't trust people who steal, and she shouldn't want to be viewed as someone who is untrustworthy.
She should get to the point where she should apologize to her cousin for trying to steal. You might also think about giving her a punishment, but if she comes to terms with it and realizes what she did was wrong, that might be enough.
2006-06-19 16:33:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her - let her know you know she did it, and the reasons why stealing is wrong. give her a punishment and let her know the consequences for stealing in the real world.
then take her to the cousins and make her apologize for stealing, and give the ipod back if she still has it.
i would also tell her that people get to buy things through hard work and dedication. tell her you will give her a chore allowance (make the bed = $0.50, take the trash = $.025 etc) and tell her to build up to buy her own ipod. there's two lessons in one, there!
2006-06-19 16:20:46 · answer #4 · answered by texandiva2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her, and don't leave any room for discussion about her not being guilty. Make it clear what she did is wrong, that she has disappointed you and let you down, and discuss how what she did relates to how others will perceive her in the future and how her actions could one day end up with her in jail. Then punish her in the manner you feel is appropriate.
2006-06-19 16:20:03 · answer #5 · answered by rkrell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dunno sometimes kids are scared cuz they know the punishment is coming and that u probably wont trust them so if they deny it they think umight forget about it or something....maybe she didnt have like a vicious intent to steal it maybe it just kind of happened and now shes embarassed about it and doesnt want a big deal just talk to her calmly and say "im giving u one chance to tell me the truth and if u do the punishment wont be bad and we will try to forget this happened"
2006-06-19 16:55:46 · answer #6 · answered by ♥ YaHabibeDisney ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One punishment for the crime.
And two more for the lie!
And then make it right.
If a lie was involved I always gave the lie a harsher punishment than the offense.
2006-06-19 23:25:01 · answer #7 · answered by rachel_waves 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
did you make her give it back??
have her do some community service in a homeless shelter or battered womens shelter. ask your welfare office for these.
teach that not everything is about what SHE WANTS<
tell your sister or brother sorry and have them think of a punishment.
2006-06-19 16:19:54 · answer #8 · answered by cats3inhouse 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to sit down with her and talk to her about stealing is bad tell her a story and convince her that stealing is very bad, you need to talk to her about stealing, sex, drug, she is 12 be very carefully with her she a kid
2006-06-19 16:30:30 · answer #9 · answered by maya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what to tell you, but when I was younger I would've gotten my butt whooped. Maybe put her on punishment whether she admits it or not.
2006-06-19 16:20:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋