I have been with my boyfriend for two years now and am six months pregnant with our first child together. I have a daughter from a previous relationship and he has well, that's the problem...When he was 17 (he's 27 now), his girlfriend at the time gave birth to a baby boy. They were not completely monogamous and he said he's always been certain that the boy is not his son. However, he signed the birth certificate without getting a paternity test. He pays child support but is still in debt due to the medical expenses and other things he is required to pay for. I've told him that he must believe this is his son or he wouldn't be paying for him. My boyfriend swears that's not the case and has inquired about paternity tests but can't afford the $600 fees especially with our baby coming in October, plus the mother of the child would have to agree to the testing, which is not likely. What would you do if you were in my place?
2006-06-19 08:48:34 · 19 answers · asked by every1lovesamixedgirl 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Actually, I should mention that in the two years we've been together, I've NEVER met this kid who is almost 10. My boyfriend hasn't seen him in almost three years and his ex has been married to someone else for about 9 years, so that man is who the child considers his father.
2006-06-19 09:02:10 · update #1
I don't know what state you are in but in many states signing the birth certificate does not constitute binding legal obligation if a paternity test is later done and he is found to not be the father. In my state a father that signs a BC can go back and request paternity. My husband requested a PT when he split with his ex. Your boyfriend should call child and family services. They should be able to arrange the test. If he will follow through and go to court to establish visitation/childsupport or lack thereof if the child isn't his, the state may pay for the PT. If they don't pay for it will certainly be cheaper.
Don't know if he'll be able to get any of the child support he paid back though... he could bring that up in court or take her to small claims (though if he's been paying for 10 years he may have paid beyond the contraints of small claims)
On a side note... how binding of a legal document would a birth certificate be when signed by a minor anyways?
2006-06-20 04:54:26 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
He did the dumbest thing by signing the birth certificate. Now, a paternity test would be moot. He'd still have to pay child support even if a paternity test proved he was not the father. By signing that birth certificate, he assumed legal responsibility till that child is 18. And how could he be in debt? Has there ever been a point when he hasnt worked and now owes back child support? In washington state, they cannot take more than 50% of a paying parent's income for child support, even if there IS back support owed. If his wages are garnished, the payments will go to the back support first...but even so, he shouldn't be in debt because of child support.
2006-06-19 18:00:31 · answer #2 · answered by SassySours 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not an attorney, but I think that he if he went to court and contested paternity the court would pay for the paternity test. If its proven that he is in fact the father, I think he'd be responsible for the costs of the test. Not 100% sure. But if he isn't the father I dont think he will be required to continue supporting the child, especially since he was 17 when he signed the certificate.
2006-06-19 16:23:27 · answer #3 · answered by Giving/Seeking Advice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would save up to get a lawyer or look into what it would cost for a family lawyer...like family court lawyer...and get a court order for the mother of the child to consent to a paternity test. Get the test then if the baby is not his then he can sue her for the child support that he did pay and for the costs of the lawyer and the medical expenses and every thing else that he has had to pay for the last few years. Obviously he has to be extremely certain that this is not his child so that he doesn't go spend all this money and then it turn out to be his...but even if he does and it is his child at least he knows and you know as well that its not money just going out the window to a child that isn't his. So I guess you guys need to see what is more important...going out to dinner, cell phones, internet acces....or finding out the father to this child that could possibly save you lots of money in the future plus get you lots of money. Just something to think about.
2006-06-19 15:56:06 · answer #4 · answered by Crystal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was pretty stupid for signing papers and paying child support without ever requesting a paternity test. But I think now that it's done, requesting a paternity test AFTER the fact would be next to impossible. He sounds like he's resistant to the whole idea, which makes me think he knows it's his child and he just doesn't want to fight it. In that case, what can you do? He'll have to keep paying his dues. *shrug* Not much you can do.
2006-06-19 15:53:58 · answer #5 · answered by dulcetpurr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call your county Child Support Office. They usually either do it for free, or for a much less cost than private testing. That deals with the courts, so she will be made to get the child tested regardless if she wants to or not. They dont have to even go to the same place for testing. You can be in two different cities. The only way he will have to face her in court is if he is not the father. If u want more info, send a message later. Take care!
2006-06-19 16:11:57 · answer #6 · answered by mommy3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are lots of ways to find out paternity all u need is DNA ( a lock of hair, toothbrush, any type of body fluid etc) u probably can take the child to the doctor, he may be able to find out through these methods. also if he's so certain it's not his (which sounds like a lie) b/c like u said why is paying for it & why in gods name would he sign the birth certificate? he also may be able to go to court and have the the test court ordered that may cost little or nothing. i wouldn't believe him that easily if i were u.
2006-06-19 16:04:12 · answer #7 · answered by la bebba 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever thought about at-home paternity testing? You can order the kits on-line for about $115 (gtldna.com) This will save you alot of money. I have a friend that did this, so that is where I learned about the site. You do a swab sample at home and mail it in. You can either receive your results by mail, phone, or e-mail. Since the $600 is rather steep, this should be a strong option.
2006-06-19 16:12:47 · answer #8 · answered by mztaylor 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's unsure of his paternity and is paying child support, he should be able to petition the court for review of child support based on paternity. The court will then order the paternity test and the mother must abide by the court order.
2006-06-19 15:56:33 · answer #9 · answered by J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would he get a test? to save money? if he was there from birth and signed the certificate then HE agreed to help raise this child. How can you change your mind after 10yrs.? He does not want to take a test b/c he may actually LOVE his son...be it blood or not. I wouldn't be convincing him to get a test in order to SAVE money but instead to do what he said he would do since day 1 and become more invovled in his son's life......if he his gonna be paying child support at least get his money's worth by spending time with his son. :)
2006-06-19 16:29:37 · answer #10 · answered by Elle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋